#hrt
I know I’m one day late, but happy 2 months hrt sis :)
Dec 17, 2019
Dec 17, 2019 at 9:30 PM UTC
I'm not a real girl, just a ******
Cis boys don't like me
Unless they chase, but I'm no bait.
Unless you let me
Whip it out and look in your eyes.
Unless you stare
Back with fire skipping my life.
But I'm
Not a real girl
Just a ******
I'm missing a hole
If that's what keeps
Me unseen, then
Bae,
I don't need
Your world
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 4:24 PM UTC
People hurt
Perfection is impossible
Efforts are put into both
No such thing as a perfect life
You can wish to be better, perhaps you can
But nobody can be the best
I tried to be the best
I wanted to be the best friend a guy can be
I have failed in this conquest
I placed efforts into Hippocrates Oath:
"First, Do No Harm"
Yet without meaning to I harmed anyway
Not just myself
No, this isn't me, me, me
As it always (usually) is
This is for my mates
And my friends
Difference being the genders involved
Mates are male,
Friends; female
Notice both start with the same letter?
That's me,
Organising things into some such logical order
To prevent falling into complete and utter chaos
It's a fixation of mine,
It just so happens it's also the way my mind works
Which even I, at times, fail to understand
My own mind; a concept, an idea,
One that at times fails itself
One that find self-harm acceptable, even understandable
I am such a hypocrite,
Instead of Hippocrates it's Hypocrites Oath:
"First, believe you won't do harm, believe it's bad,
And then do it anyway".
Some of this makes sense to you, Reader, I assume
Assuming that, of course, you can assume to know
What I assume you assume I'm talking about
Still following?
Okay, then I'm just rambling
Talking for no reason other than that I hate silence
I hate silence almost as much as I hate myself, at times
Silence is empty, like what I feel frequently
A genuine smile is a smile I wish to wear
(Not just to the Formal night I will be attending next year)
But how does one smile
When one has seen the truth of this world?
Cold, calculating and cruel, vicious and relentless
There is more wars then there are words to stop them
Only one world to hold these wars,
That at times words help to start
Not just talking about actual wars, either
Arguments that become full-blown hatred
Pain dosage as high as the painkillers to prevent them,
If not, higher...
I don't know what to think of myself,
Or this world that I live in
I've contemplated suicide on multiple accounts
Too "pussy"to follow through...
But I have never done it, left, that is
I tried many, many, many times
But something... pulls me back
It's friendship. Family. Honour and Loyalty
I cannot leave those precious few I have
Until they themselves are gone
As long as everyone keeps living,
I guess I have to as well
Thank you for reading
If you made it this far...
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 8:33 PM UTC
One open can of
half empty **** water
popped the night before
for a palm of pills,
codeine and HRT
chased with Kamchatka 8-0
she collapses in bed
with hope in her head,
belly full.
Morning comes, her will is gone, she stumbles blind
to root her elbows at the window sill, still groggy
from the high of nighttime.
Noon comes and the clock stops, it's a road block
setup at the overpass and by the time
transference makes sense she's
spent her energy just shifting.
In place, enervated. A mistake.
A husk built of guilt and bone.
In a closed room full of blood and *****
alone. Atone.
In place, enervated,
elbows at the window sill.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 1:12 PM UTC
Os odores retorcidos da pele
Perdem-se na ambiguidade
Das gônadas
Do meu pensamento
Respiro a mim mesmo
E regozijo da auto-hipnose
Cuidadosamente elaborada pela metade da última década
Olho-me no espelho e desejo ser Deus
Estóico
A observar o escorrer da tarde
Mas quando o suor frio me desperta
Sinto o calor que transforma percorrer minhas entranhas
Eu sou homem, sou mulher
Sou nada e sou o mundo.
Ser Deus não tem a mínima graça.
Oct 13, 2014
Oct 13, 2014 at 5:10 PM UTC