#hosptial
Today we are going to do something different
Today you will leave your rooms
Today you will go on a journey to healing
Is that purple?
Yes actually, it represents the mind charkha
A journey inside yourself,
Your third eye
This is a meditation exercise
The room on low light,
Music drifting in the background,
Flowers in water,
Sparkle on the ground,
Covering a purple labyrinth
This is where healing truling takes place
Not locked up,
Being yelled at
Sure I was put with the girls,
This is nothing new to me,
The price of safety,
But this place was different,
Different from the last,
They cared,
Not just about making sure I was still alive, but also that I was /alive/
On this purple floor,
Today,
Sparkles on my hands from where I was on the ground
A grand release into a new place
Gleaming
Thinking
Releasing
Healing
May 10, 2015
May 10, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC
The day the angels came for you,
I was wearing a lipstick that stained my mouth
the color of raspberries.
When I came into the room,
we both ignored the fact that the monitor showed
that your heartrate jumped when you saw me,
and that my body instantly began to tingle.
I brought yellow roses
because I thought red would have been inappropriate,
and you giggled and made them into a flower-crown for me.
You remembered that yellow stood for friendship and admiration,
and I only nodded in response.
The get well soon cards were stapled to the walls of your room,
but only the outside of them showed,
and we were surrounded by teddy bears and balloons that
did not show the tastes of a twenty year old boy.
The nurse came in and when she saw the holes in the walls,
you shrugged and said that we ran out of tape.
She left in a hurry.
You said that you were excited to leave your body and go to heaven,
because you wondered if the "land of milk and honey"
was really all it is cracked up to be.
I sighed, and slowly asked the clouds
to keep you with me for another day.
You told me you were tired,
but you asked me if I would stay while you took a quick "siesta",
I said I would and when you drifted off,
I fought off my better judgment
and left a mark of raspberries on your forehead,
so when I sneaked out you would wake up
and look in the mirror and see that I told you goodbye.
My lips were still stained the color of berries
when I left red roses on your gravestone two weeks later,
and I wondered if you knew that all this time
I thought you would outlive me.
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 11:16 PM UTC
I hate driving.
Sometimes when I am on the road I imagine what it would be like if I ran into a car coming the opposite direction. I would feel the glass of my windshield cutting into my skin, and feel my body being held prisoner by the seat belt.
Perhaps someone would come along and dramatically pull my from my burning car, and I would be rushed to the hospital and be drugged for a couple hours. I wonder if my family would cry.
I think that deep down, I just desperately want to experience the sway of power between life and death.
Trapped in limbo, I wonder if I finally would not feel any pain.
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014 at 11:00 PM UTC