#hopefulpoem
I used to idolize you
And I could never believe
You would deliberately hurt me
You didn't mean it
It wasn’t your fault
A million excuses
Exchanged for a million bruises
That lined my skin
In semi-permanent remembrance
of you
Five years later
I can still see those black and blue marks
That once blotted my skin
But now I am awake
And no longer oblivious
To your lies
5 years of slumber
1,825 days
Or 43,800 hours
And even 2,628,000 minutes
Of being blind to you
But the mathematics do not matter
Because you do not measure
Pain the same way
You measure time
Finally speaking, 5 years later
After being silenced by my own mind
Trapped by the fear that no one
Would understand
Let alone care
5 years of being scared and afraid
Like an animal
Who was hit too many times
Only because I was too ignorant
To run from what I thought
Was love
And now it has been three days
Since his return
Old wounds have resurfaced
5 years worth of scars
Of bruises
Of horrible, horrible memories
All oppressed by my notion
Of what love really was
I can feel my skin become tender
From where you used to abuse
Your power
But the difference now
Is that I am strong
I am not measly
Nor weak
And I will never cower
Below your shadow again
5 years of recovery
And torture and pain
But now I can live
The rest of my life
An eternity with an infinite
Amount of possibilities
Because I am not scared
Not anymore
Because after 5 years of being weak
I arise from my hibernation
And come out courageous
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 9:29 PM UTC