#hopefully
Love is all around me
In the trees,
The air.
My heart it drives me,
Like a sense you’d want to cherish.
It’s abundant, prolific
Even that four-letter word
The way it moves
Inside my orbit.
Through people I meet,
experiences I share
It’s all so lovely .
Feb 25
Feb 25, 2026 at 11:58 AM UTC
HOPEFULLY, if willing, I will see you again,
HOPEFULLY, This Friendship would never, ever end,
HOPEFULLY, some day l will see you around,
even if I am feeling so low and so down.
Hopefully, I will touch the blue heavenly skies and
spread my wings like the birds so very High,
I am very thankful for whatever life provides, and
the fact the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
MOST DEFINITELY, I will BE THANKFUL of the things I already have,
Accept things as they are, and in this BE GLAD,
I am happy with MY LIFE, and this HAPPINESS IS FREE,
Just to LOVE my WONDERFUL LIFE, and I will CONTINUE TO LOVE ME!!! ❤️
B.R.
Date: 11/2/72024
Nov 28, 2024
Nov 28, 2024 at 11:08 AM UTC
Intelligible am I of a truth that haunts me,
And seeps within every single one of my vessel,
Even my nightmare dreads my reality,
And burdens me with it's withdrawal,
So in a domain of endless sleep I sway,
Hoping for it to take my breath away,
Alas,
Conspicuous reality will vehemently say,
Wake up and slave your day away,
Hitherto,
A person like me could only be promised death and nothing more,
A breath or two maybe,
But Not the gleaming light birthed by the sun,
Only the shadows of past that eat me numb,
The tangible abhor has claimed my sight,
And I am blinded by the tragedy of what will be or what might,
I wish for life to tempt me with a fraud.
So I never look back and live My way,
Oct 7, 2024
Oct 7, 2024 at 6:37 AM UTC
how i wish to be a harp note in a russian symphony
how i wish to be a dragon, longer than six feet
how i wish to be the line that is on that narrow face
how i wish it wasn’t that easy to find someone to replace
me
how i wish the moon would stop and tell me the truth
how i wish i heard Jesus’s name from the mouth of you
how i wish that we didn’t have to lose some seeds along the way
how i wish the death would come fast and then be on its way
how i wish my hands weren’t so shaky when i speak
how i wish the words that slip from my lips didn’t puncture me
how i wish time could slow down just for me to catch a break
how i wish the sea would settle down when i am in its wake
how i wish i could be more
how i wish you could adore
me
how i wish this world was more forgiving
how i wish i could fly
how i wish i knew why
how i wish i would stop wishing for an end
to something that just began
Aug 6, 2023
Aug 6, 2023 at 7:08 PM UTC
The moon hanging above is the only one who knows my pain
Listen to laughter in my mind until I go insane
Please do not let the stress consume me in a single bite
Listening to negative voice that raises almost every night
And the moon offers subtle comfort when demons emerge to play
Take a small step forward
Two back the next day
Is it my blood or am I simply too weak?
Won’t give up on looking for the answers that I seek
The world will not make it easy but I have faith I will pull through
And hopefully find happiness hidden inside too
Dec 23, 2020
Dec 23, 2020 at 7:08 PM UTC
I did not think this day would come
The love in your eyes fades away
Would do anything to fix us
To make you stay
I wonder what you are thinking about
How you actually feel about me
I want the most to know the truth
Parts you don't let me see
I am not sure what's real or not
You are so good at telling lies
Pointless yet I am determined
To break your disguise
I love you unconditionally
Always and forever will
If you no longer feel the same
Why continue to say you do still?
If it's because you are scared of being alone
Can tell you right now you'll be fine
Many girls are just waiting for their chance
The moment you are no longer mine
And you deserve the best
The happiness you desire
Should have known that eventually
Of my foolishness you'd tire
You do more than I could ever deserve
From the start I knew
You were far too good for me
Was lucky just to be with you
I know good things never last
So I do not know why I'm surprised
Guess I was naive to believe
Feelings would never be compromised
Our love for eachother so strong
Was all I could be sure about
Despite ****** up things we endured
Connection remained free from doubt
We went through worst together
Lived to experience the best
It wasn't always easy
Relationship passed each test
Now out of nowhere **** starts to change
No reason I can find
Are you growing apart from me?
Scared I'll be left behind
I am desperate for a solution
Be what you need once more
It seems like you're ready to end it
Halfway out the front door
I love more than I ever have
The harder I try the more we fight
Can tell you're getting sick of me
I can't stop holding you tight
I wish I could behave more like her
Carefree
Down to have fun
Used to have such good times together
Seems like those days are done
Stressed under heavy pressure
Both work to lift the weight
Do my best to lighten the load
My worry makes it inflate
She may not nag
***** at you
I bet if you put her in my place
Years of games and illusions
Would not be as eager to replace
History between us hard
It's filled with so much hurt
I understand why it's nice to escape
Hang out with her and flirt
But you do not know eachother well
Hasn't seen your darker side
I'm sure she has her fair share as well
Secrets and flaws kept inside
You know inside and out
My absolute worst
Can be a lot to handle at times
I will never quit putting you first
I support whatever you pick
You want a break to see how it goes
However long you need
Trying people like shoes or clothes
I do not want anyone else
For your sake I will pretend
Don't want concern to hold you back
You are scared my heart won't mend
I deserve to be permanently broken
All the mistakes I have made
Perhaps the suffering would be gone
If only then I would have stayed
I will forever call you my soulmate
If you leave and never return
No one else could ever replace
Your touch I'll always yearn
Hopefully find your way back to my arms
The happiness you couldn't find with me
Even if I give somebody else my heart
You will always have the key
Oct 10, 2020
Oct 10, 2020 at 5:23 AM UTC
Apple lights keep hurting my eyes
Street corners breaking my threads
The concrete is now heating up
The constant noise I’m hearing fades
I’m fighting dreams of other cities
This phone keeps bussing me
I feel like a ghost in my reality
I’m busy but not keeping it busy
The screen distracting me from the concrete
All I’m asking for is an everything bagel
I’m hungry and dizzy in an empire wonderland of hopeful thinking
•
I’m trying to speak all these lights into an existence
I’m trying to walk in the streets best for me
Apple Empire lights have my eyes awake
Sipping on juice but eyes keep sleep crawling
Keep me from breaking bridges
I want to go for loop-de-loops in a six speed
Burning at the light and time we have all day
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 11:27 PM UTC
As a child, I would write letters. No, I have never been a romantic, just a rather diplomatic child. I would write letters of negotiation to a friend of mine, burn them, and let the ashes be a legible phoenix to him.
As a child, I grew up writing letters. I stopped believing in the existence of phoenixes. Either that or my friend wasn’t really a fan of one. He was way older than I’d ever be, so I was sure it wasn’t a change of taste. It was rumoured that he preferred the savour of sconces, so I kept burning my letters.
As a child, I wrote letters in desperation. I learnt the fine line between a negotiation and a plea. I pleaded…I pleaded a lot in my letters. Do you think dried tears on paper burn too? I think my friend thought it insufficient. Either that or salt water becomes invincible above the clouds.
As a child, I wrote letters. I wrote lots of letters. I wrote letters to the only one I was sure would write back in some way. I think burning those letters wasn’t such a good idea, it made him unable to read them. Either that or he forgot changing mails was supposed to be a colloquy. He’s my friend, right? He’d have replied if he really did see them…right?
As a child, I did write letters. Then I stopped. Then, then I never wrote them again until I was forced to for grades’ sake. They are the only letters I can say I got replies to. Only difference was, for some reason, each one I wrote came back with the marks of a red pen and a word beneath it all.
Jun 30, 2020
Jun 30, 2020 at 1:37 PM UTC
I can still recall
When I was young a lifetime ago
I cried over my skinned knees
Memories with my peers
Running around without footwear
Having friends that are rare
I was so optimistic and happy
Can I go back from the past? hopefully.
May 30, 2020
May 30, 2020 at 8:56 AM UTC
My mental health is not doing okay.
I’m not doing okay.
But i pretend I’m okay.
I’ll be okay.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Maybe.
I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Everything is fine.
May 22, 2020
May 22, 2020 at 5:30 AM UTC
I slip you the paper in anticipation
Does she like me?
I move in and stay up all night laughing with you
Does she like me?
You return a new piece, covered in doodles
She likes me?
Dec 5, 2019
Dec 5, 2019 at 5:28 PM UTC
A
racing
heart
is not all that I gained
When you said you would, yes,
to seeing me
Not the source,
but the desire of true, anxiety
Your mere value alone creates
the most anxious, me
To have ever been
The hope which once
Was just a plea
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 9:46 AM UTC
the only problem that I haven't told you
it's because you are my dearest friend.
you probably already know,
from the words I wrote,
that it all meant for you.
I'm not ready yet to prepare myself to heart the truth.
Because I know it would **** me softly.
Nov 9, 2019
Nov 9, 2019 at 4:48 AM UTC
I wonder
when I switched
into the poisonous snake
you've claimed me to be
I wonder if
I was always that way
you just helped show me
or if you were the cause
Because He tells me
that there is only good
when you told me
their was only pain,
and suffering,
and heartache, but
that didn't matter
Because I did not feel and you
were what was good for me
because
despite all the flaws you would point out
you claim that your love was
unconditional
and I would find no one else
that would love the broken mess
that I had become
and when you shattered me more
in hopes of keeping me
in your little box
He stormed in
and let me out
and waited
patiently,
until I was ready
to accept his
type of love
Mar 12, 2019
Mar 12, 2019 at 2:17 AM UTC
Until I met you, I had no idea that someone like you existed
My hopes had all dashed away and I grew jaded
It felt as if I were the only *** without a lid
And so I sat on the stove top all alone with nothing but emptiness
Entering my stratosphere and as I watched
Other pots with their lids be conjoined
A rage filled with blistering pain filled my insides
To lay here beside you I would’ve never imagined
Finding home within your arms and heart
Never did I believe I was worthy of such a love
Yet you fill me up every day and nourish
A heart that was so vastly hungry for affection
Not sure what would ever happen
If you left this poor soul behind
I waited too long to find you
Too many winters afflicting my soul
Your warmth my only salvation
Dec 20, 2018
Dec 20, 2018 at 4:23 PM UTC
I would rather have a panic attack in the dark room than be alone at home in my own zone depressed on my phone. Then staying up an insomniac, at the park, rising gloom, falling rain, feeling pain, like it's all I ever known.
Attempted suicide, but then revived, choking phlegm, thought I died, I was there, in the hospital, bare naked riddled with needles, poked and prodded, dead skin rotted, almost cried, but I fought it.
Now I knew, I had to go home, and to school, to ******** and moaning and drama, and talking, and floating back to normal society, choking on tears in sobriety, kind of wish I stayed dead cause she gives me glee, ignore what I just said and don't pitty me, as I escape again to a place you flee, when the lit fuse of my bomb rapidly, rushes towards the end, she's gone and done it again, she's wrong and loving other men, I'm right here and paying amends, for **** that I never did, all I ever wanted was to please a kid, with a rotten heart, that was full of sin, I hope the goal was never to win, in this game of life, strife ridden knife stuck on skin.
What doesn't make sense is how she makes me so happy, cause I'm dense headed every time she calls me pappy, or *** or says, "I Love You", it was two months of a misconstrued, confusing relationship thing, now two months without it and it ******* stings and aches when I'm not around her, I want to love her, I want to ground her, ram her, straight into the floor or wall so maybe she can feel my pain, bash her head in a door and make her choke on a wedding ring, while I smoke **** out her mouth like toking while she's bleeding from the throat down to the feet and... in this verse I just finished a talk and I understand that I've been gawking nonsense all along and she isn't with me because she doesn't want to hurt me, but sticks by me because she really likes me.
I feel fine now because I've put the puzzle pieces together and I've calmed down now cause I think I understand Heather.
That's what I'll tell myself as life goes on, living in the prison cell of pain and beyond.
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 11:58 AM UTC
Hopefully, we’re deeper than the screen we’re staring at.
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 7:20 PM UTC
A half empty vessel I make noise,
half fool trying to man up and stop boy,
eating plenty but giving few.
know how to be filled,
not how to pour,
know I have wings,
though afraid to sore.
My house was swept but I did not shut the door,
when they were chased they came back with more,
now I'm crying back to sender,
when I opened the door for them to enter,
may we treat our temples with reverence,
masterpieces sculpted from Genesis.
Pain was promised but so was joy,
moths and rust shall not destroy,
the beauty that is beyond fasting from bacon,
the call to a kingdom that can't be shaken.
There may be reason to be in fright,
but he calls us to be salt and light,
ask for strength to fight the good fight,
to mortify the flesh to be filled with Christ.
May we be okay being perceived inferior,
to know there's treasure in our interior,
to learn to find joy in shadows,
to know that only he is hallowed,
let us learn to serve in love,
fix our eyes on things above,
working out in fear and trembling,
God will bring it to an ending,
may condemnation not refrain,
the grace that makes us born again,
when all our deeds are purged by fire,
may we live for a cause that is so much higher,
may it truly be found that we loved The Messiah.
It's time to seek the ancient paths,
to tread along the greener grass,
for time is short,
and life is faster,
may perfume pour through our cracks soon after,
may the Potter jar us like alabaster,
to be worn and wasted by a wicked world,
to replace the fragrance of sin's foul penalty,
to lighten what was once so grim,
to know that suffering will make us more like him.
It's time for speech to turn to traction,
to be whole when feeling fraction,
to be simple and true,
to trust in the dark the one who made hue,
to walk by faith and hope that grace will bring us through,
seek his face when you can't recognize yourself,
he is our friend and ever present help,
he's writing our story,
we are seated on a right hand shelf,
the library of love where his presence dwells,
not by power not by might,
he will help keep us in the light.
If the King emptied himself,
who are we to be full of grief?
should troubles always bring unbelief,
don't we know the one we follow,
the joyful holy man of sorrow,
the pages in our story that none will ever see,
were authored by the one who set us free,
the message in the bottle was meant for we,
open the scrolls and pray we see,
that ours is overwhelming victory,
that we have been given mercy,
to no longer bear the weight of iniquity,
to boldly say we're free indeed.
For wretched were we and far from pretty,
naked in shame and to be pitied,
trusted in things that don't sustain,
in wisdom and teachings that bind our brain,
let's run to the name that will not fail,
the one who leads us from the prison doors,
the one who paved the streets of gold,
for all our losses sevenfold,
the one who bought us with a precious price,
the one who died to give true life,
the prince of the peace who gave us bail,
Hold fast to the truth His Word won't fail.
Nov 30, 2018
Nov 30, 2018 at 6:39 AM UTC
Sail On
And just for a moment
There was a total blackout,
Our spheres went all dark
A ray of sunshine couldn't penetrate through,
The atmosphere was misty and dense
So, we kept sailing on in the deep dark
There's a sandy shore that awaits us,
Where the sun never tires to shine
The soft winds will never go weary
At blowing your long beautiful hair backwards
Where the grains of sand will carelessly,
Yet flawlessly
Decorate your skin
As they carelessly stick
We'll make castles with shore clay,
At least better than the castles in the air
All that we'll never touch
So, we keep sailing on
Mongi C. Nkabindze
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 2:47 AM UTC
This/ you/ we/ could go in
Any direction.
But... I hope you'll/...
We'll -- write a song!
Aug 2, 2017
Aug 2, 2017 at 10:56 AM UTC
We sat in the back because all of this was new to us
There was a lot of people but the room was somehow still hushed
People kept entering from different sides of the room
We all stay quiet and hushed but you can still hear the cars outside going zoom
We don't know the real reason as to why we decided to come here
But honestly I think we are always searching for distractions to cover up our fears
We've done a lot bad but not a whole lot of good
But we keep living life hoping that one day we'll be understood
We've smoked this and drank that but it's getting kind of old
And we've grown into a habit of doing the opposite of what we're told
We've been wanting to end all this pain and depression for awhile
But at the end of each day we still somehow find a reason to still smile
The people around us think we are pretty confident and tough
But little do they know that we are on the verge of giving up
But we continue to keep living this lie because the one thing we're not is selfish
So we keep living our life for the sake of the people around us even though deep down we feel helpless
But we don't wanna hurt the people around us , we'd just rather hurt ourselves
So we'll just keep pretending that we're happy, even though deep down we're just empty shelves
May 1, 2017
May 1, 2017 at 9:09 PM UTC