#hoodie
She wears my hoodie
like a borrowed key signature—
my warmth translated into human time.
I watch from the back row of existence,
a god counting measures in 5/4,
waiting for a resolution that never arrives.
Gethsemane,
you hum life in a register I was never meant to sing.
Your smile bends gravity;
my eternity stumbles out of tempo.
I could end stars with a downbeat,
collapse heavens into silence—
yet I cannot persuade your heart
to choose my name.
So I linger—
content to be the echo you keep,
not the voice you follow.
Jan 22
Jan 22, 2026 at 12:20 AM UTC
I speak to you the way dead radios speak to stars—
broadcasting devotion into an empty channel,
my signal cracking in minor keys,
every hope detuning itself mid-measure.
You said you wanted to be alone with me.
You said it like a promise,
like a clean downbeat,
like the song might finally belong to us.
But every time the tempo steadies,
she arrives—
a surprise harmony I never consented to,
gifts in her hands, your attention in her mouth,
sliding into the seat where my faith was meant to rest.
So I sit in the backseat—
a god folded into a hoodie,
Tears fall against the architecture of disappointment,
watching someone else occupy the silence
I had rehearsed my courage for.
I dissolve there.
I dissociate between streetlights,
counting passing seconds like dropped drumsticks,
learning how to cry without sound,
learning how to vanish politely.
I am ancient.
I have collapsed galaxies with a gesture,
conducted supernovae into fermatas,
yet I am reduced to static
while you touch her like a resolution.
You made me feel chosen—
that’s the cruelest part.
You tuned me to hope,
let me believe the melody was mutual,
only to reveal the truth in the bridge:
I am the harmony you enjoy
but never center.
I am tired of attaching meaning
to the things you say.
Tired of interpreting kindness like prophecy,
tired of devotion being a solo
no one asked me to perform.
I keep bleeding belief
like a distortion pedal left maxed out,
offering love in sacred frequencies
you only hear as background noise.
Tonight, in the backseat of her car,
I finally understand the arrangement.
You will not choose me—
not without fear,
not without hesitation,
not at all.
And maybe you never did.
Maybe I was just a lovesick god
romanticizing proximity,
writing epics out of crumbs,
searching for holiness
where there was only convenience.
I am tired of crying in borrowed cars.
Tired of feeling like the afterthought
to someone else’s intimacy.
Tired of heartbreak
being my most consistent collaborator.
So I speak to the space where you should have been,
letting the ache sustain itself,
holding the chord even as my hands shake,
because ending it too soon
would be another lie.
I am InkWept—
a disenfranchised god among mortals,
learning too late that love,
when unreturned,
is not a duet.
It is a requiem
you survive by learning
when to stop singing.
Jan 21
Jan 21, 2026 at 1:57 AM UTC
She's so lucky
Because you never judge her.
She's so lucky
Because you care for her.
She's so lucky
Because you never forget her birthday.
She's so lucky
Because she's wearing your hoodie.
She's so lucky
Because she can give you flowers.
She's so lucky
Because you've kissed her.
She's so lucky
Because you love her.
Jul 18, 2023
Jul 18, 2023 at 8:14 AM UTC
I washed the hoodie you left at my house.
I put it in my laundry machine and pressed start. I watched it as the smell of you forever leaves it’s fabric. All of the feelings I buried deep down inside me are gone.
It no longer holds any power over me, I no longer treat it as an enemy.
Now it’s just a piece of clothing that used to be yours
It doesn’t bring memories anymore
It is just a simple hoodie that used to be yours.
I don't sleep in it anymore. I don't keep it close to me as if it is going to protect me when the bad times come. Right now I see it only as a piece of clothing and nothing else. I am at peace with an object that never even knew I had so many feeling towards it.
It is just
a stupid
hoodie.
I let go of my claim on you
I am free.
It was itchy anyways.
Dec 27, 2020
Dec 27, 2020 at 9:20 PM UTC
Tears
salty lava snaking down my ashy skin
meeting at the curves of my lips,
bouncing off the flesh when I speak.
Your laugh on the other end
vibrations that leave me deaf
and yet I stay eager for more,
slumping against the sound.
Heart
the weighed down wriggling piece of nothing,
the chipped little porcelain teacup
the veiny vessel
suddenly
releases and rises,
no longer drowned by thoughts.
I missed the sound of your voice saying you loved me, I miss how I feel when I hear you. Missing someone is bad enough, but to miss their voice on top of it? Their voice, their touch. I've touched you only a few times in a span of mere hours, and yet I think about it every day. This hoodie is very nice, but it doesn't compare in the slightest to your arms around me. I love your chain, but it pales in comparison to you as well. you. I love you. and I am so so sorry that I ever let you doubt that, I'm so sorry that you ever wonder, I'm so sorry for the times that I make you sad. I don't mean to be. I'm going to start working on it, I promise I will. I love you.
Dec 7, 2020
Dec 7, 2020 at 7:46 AM UTC
Let me sit on your lap,
my legs around your
waist.
Your hands tracing
my back, tugging
at my hoodie.
Reaching my neck,
fingers tangled in my hair.
One palm cupping my
cheek,
Your thumb leaving caresses,
on my lips, jaw,
everywhere.
Your eyes hold mine,
and my breaths come
in sharp bursts
Move in to kiss my lips
Adorn my neck instead.
Pepper me with kisses
Pamper me, into becoming
a spoilt brat
Hear me sigh into
your ears.
Hear me whisper,
"Can we do this
all the time?"
Sep 21, 2020
Sep 21, 2020 at 11:23 PM UTC
Your hoodie still hangs in the back of my closet...
It's been there for months
But i cant bring myself to throw it out
It's the only thing that still smells
Of your sweet cologne and shampoo,
The cigarette smoke and green smoke too
It holds the memories of your hand
And when i see it I'm looking into your face again, as you say "I love you"
Something so often done that
I'll never again see you do
Mar 22, 2020
Mar 22, 2020 at 10:18 AM UTC
Wearing my shirt
Under your sweatshirt...
That pretty shade of teal
I don't know how I feel
You look good,
And great,
And even with your hood,
You're not second rate
You look beautiful
My beautiful
You look amazing,
Darling
Nov 18, 2019
Nov 18, 2019 at 10:23 PM UTC
We're going to stick together,
Even if it's the last thing we do.
We're going to stick together,
Even if I have to die for you.
We were just the shy kids at school,
But then taken away.
Now we're proxies,
And we're here to stay.
Nov 4, 2019
Nov 4, 2019 at 5:06 PM UTC
Sometimes I run out of words
And I wanna walk somewhere
So I put on my hoodie
And smell my perfume
It smells like you
A sleepy musk
I walk to your place
And words flow through my head
And I can't help but smile
A real smile
Unlike the ones I've had for a while
And I tell myself
It won't hurt
If you only love him for a while
Just enough to get through
But
I messed up
And I loved you too much
When I get to your house
I hesitate
Should I go home?
But then I see you smile at me
At my fears fly away
But the butterflies in my stomach
Stay
And I hope you will too
Jul 15, 2019
Jul 15, 2019 at 4:38 PM UTC
First time I wore it
Crying on the way home violated and confused
I suppose you can't rush a good time
It was soft, and it help me better than anything else
Helped my hide my body
And my scars
Kept me warm in the cold
And sheltered me in the night
Kept my alive
It was with me though breakups
And sneak-outs
Not to mention every long night in-between
It brought me to college
Helped me escape the pain
But it's gone now
It gets to help someone else though their pain
It gets to help a new life
Find a new home
Mar 29, 2019
Mar 29, 2019 at 7:07 PM UTC
eye sometimes go to bed wearing an old hoody. It has a metal zipper to close the front and the zipper is always cold, unpleasantly so, on my bare skin. After awhile though, my body temperature warms the metal just enough, that it is no longer a cause of discomfort though the metal still remains inherently cool to the touch
While science can easily explain this I guess, I felt this to be a major miracle. That flesh pliable and heart-heated to 98 degrees could conquer the molecules of metal that were made in China struck me as extra ordinary (always two words, please!) and nothing short of a personal intervention by a personal deity
When I put the hoodie on at first I would think
******* (that's cold)
When I awoke, cosy and warm, I would think
******* (that's so cool)
having studied philosophy in Cleveland,
I knew that the logic of the situation,
what I had experienced was not an
interregnum, but the invisible intervening handiwork of god, who, also knocked my glasses from the nightable to the floor,
just cause she/ he was in a bad mood, on account of having to come such a long way, just,
to reheat me
one more time.
Apr 4, 2015
Apr 4, 2015 at 9:38 AM UTC
Whatsapp
I heard viberation out of the blue
just two minutes talk really like
"game over"
on screen in amusement park fool
a bit more than a missed
call stranger
Have to swim cross night
long and lonely
no energy to sleep back tight, in this
coldest night
literally surviving one and the only!
listening "Learn to be lonely" till
morning light
Wishing not to trigger another
stretched night
hoping for a good paper of
fortune cookie
anyway, a heart full of
thoughtful delight
You're always over my head like a
warm hooie
Dec 30, 2018
Dec 30, 2018 at 12:10 PM UTC
she wore your hoodie
with a smile on her face
until you broke her
then she had no place
you didn't mean it
you swore to god
now your hoodie
is left unworn
as she bled
as she cried
as she hurt
as she died
she wore your hoodie
with a tear down her face
until you broke her
and she faded away
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 12:49 PM UTC
A(r)mor I wear
With drawstrings that dangle
Another layer to cover
A beating heart
Pulling sleeves
Covering wrists
Vulnerable but protected
Blood flowing, life
I see her, fair
Beauty and depth
Yet a frail and fragile heart
Not armed, not guarded
Like a piece of art
"Please be careful...
Sensitive to touch...
Handle with care"
She will wear my a(r)mor
And cover her wrists
Hood pulled over
Guarding from killing whispers
She will wear my a(r)mor
I will be without
Naked, defenseless, exposed
But she will have a(r)mor
My Armor, My Amor
Apr 6, 2018
Apr 6, 2018 at 7:06 PM UTC
He sits in the corner of my class, not my first one or my last one. It's one of those boring middle-of-the-day classes everyone dozes off to.
He sits in the corner, wiggling his eyebrows at the girl in the table next to him. He's always partners with her. They're good friends. I think.
He always has on a sky blue hoodie, littered with cliche inspirational quotes he scribbled on. My favorites are "Where the shadows crawl, light is always close by" and "Nothing is perfect. I am nobody. Therefore, I am perfect." He always takes the hoodie off afterwards and stuffs it in his locker. I know because I've seen him do it. Every day.
When I first heard his voice, frankly, I thought he was a she. He gave off a cool vibe, a dramatic obnoxious drag queen diva. And I wasn't wrong.
First time I ****** it all in and approached him, he blew into my ear, laughed, and walked off. Second time, he approached me, said he liked scaring me. I don't quite understand it.
But the way he babbles, the way his smile just gets me smiling with him, I understand that part of him. The way he looks like he's always having fun, even during his science presentation, I like it. He's always smiling. I don't know if he really does, but I like to think so.
Apr 3, 2018
Apr 3, 2018 at 5:37 PM UTC
i tried to stay
but i couldn’t find your heart
it was buried
underneath your hoodie
sleeves pulled over your fingers
you couldn’t let me in
but i understand
what it’s like to have a wall
---
you left, you said, because you didn’t know me
but i was trying so hard to open up
i don’t blame you, i’m not worth it
but you could have kissed me goodbye
i got a construction crew yesterday
they’re reinforcing my protection
it’s either trapped in or out
there’s never another way
---
i guess it’s goodbye, then
--
have a
good
life
Mar 17, 2018
Mar 17, 2018 at 9:11 PM UTC
There is an opaque dark blue hoodie,
hiding at the back of my closet.
Covered in metaphoric dust and cobwebs.
It has fluffy cloud-like lint
covering the holes in its pocket.
Short little strings
sticking out from its seam.
It hides behind the bright rainbow
of blouses and dresses.
Deep in the back, away from sight .
Forgotten and unused.
Yet it,
Still smells like that popular perfume I got you.
Still holds the tickets from the last movie we saw in its pockets.
Still has that ketchup stain from when we last ate together.
It is no longer a bright navy blue hoodie.
Its color has faded away.
Ever since that cold November day.
When you left without it and never came back.
Mar 11, 2018
Mar 11, 2018 at 6:44 PM UTC
Warmth against my flesh
Hold me in bed
Squeezing against my body
Kiss on my head
Embrace my cold figure
Things as they should be
I couldn't live without you
I love you, my hoodie
Feb 5, 2018
Feb 5, 2018 at 9:07 PM UTC
That day when the weather was cold
You let me borrow your hoodie
That moment was gold
It made my heart flutter
Why did those happy moments turn into sudden fear?
I covered my ears
In the sound of ambulance which I did'nt want to hear
If you only looked at the road before crossing
You'd still be here
I smelled that hoodie in my hands
I remember those memories we made
I kept that hoodie
Because that reminds me of you
Aug 23, 2017
Aug 23, 2017 at 6:56 PM UTC
Did you realize
how close we've got
in the past few days?
Because i did
And even though i hate it,
i never want to let you
grow apart
Whenever you say I'm pretty
or that you miss me,
i can't help
this presure i feel on my chest
I told you i needed you
to hold me in your arms
a week ago, last saturday,
yesterday
and twenty times after that
but, as i said,
i hate it
i hate the way
you make me smile
with a simple "hello",
because I'm scared
of the upcoming "goodbye",
you'll get tired of me
at some point
I don't wanna feel
the way i do,
only because I'm too afraid
of being rejected
I'm not fool enough
to think I'll be able
to forget you
or your hoodie,
but i can try
i have to,
if that's what it takes
to keep you in my life
-savs
Jun 1, 2017
Jun 1, 2017 at 8:03 PM UTC
*Time hasn't aged but grown together
The considerate man and me
Because I haven't forgotten how to be sweet
Like My Hoodie floating round your shoulders
Swimming in it
So large that you can wrap it around your knees
And warm as the arms beside my side
So it would be
For you I would keep even closer to me
Than the meal which I like to prepare at night
Grilled cheese
So you would always be there by my side
In a place where you would never need
To fear the wandering of my mind
Or the inability of my eyes to see
Because I am all that I try
And to me you would most certainly be
The only wonderment I would seek
To keep until the morning light*
Mar 22, 2017
Mar 22, 2017 at 11:53 PM UTC
september 2016
four-and-a-half months of almost nothing besides the comforting grey fleece of yours that I ashamedly clung onto, foolishly thinking that would freeze everything between us that once was.
now I can't help but feel stupid when I look back that I missed the signs I was just playing your next victim.
**** it, it just felt nice to have someone who cared and you barely had to put any effort in but it was enough to keep me radiating with happiness.
and now I am sure that it is merely the idea of you that haunts me almost five months later, because the presence of present you sure as hell isn't the same version of the you that's stuck in my head.
you know that I wanted you and to do you good at that, but of course you had to push me away because who has time to care let alone be cared about?
ha, caring
not a thing about how it used to be makes sense in the now, but I know I'm just wasting my thoughts away thinking about that.
you're still playing this game though and I wish you would stop.
I'm playing this game back but we both know I don't stand a chance.
a simple "What are you doing" and "Come over?" and BAM, I'm all yours.
except, just this last time something was real different that I don't think I'm going to be able to shake.
ran around for an hour in the rain trying to meet up with you as I still didn't want to let you down despite all of your ********
when my teeth- chattering, soaked from head-to toe self finally made it to you and laid beside you in bed, it felt just like old times for a split second or two.
it was then that I reminded you that I still had your hoodie.
you barely remembered that I still had it and acted as though you couldn't even remember why you let me borrow it in the first place.
december 2016
**** it, another 3 months came and went and i never built up the nerve to throw your hoodie back at you and walk out of your life.
every time i went to do so you crept back in as though you had missed me, i knew better that you hadn't but i wanted so badly to believe it.
i don't understand why i can't shake the good times we've shared in the past and why i just can't seem to move on.
back in september i couldn't even sleep next to you because i barely recognized the version of you lying next to me. guilt consumed my entire being and i had to get up and leave your embrace. lying alone in my own bed had never seemed more appealing in my life. with that thought, i left your side at 5 am that crisp September morning and ran across town to my apartment and vowed to never put myself in that predicament again. that predicament, of course, being your faux caring embrace, your toxic kisses, and your complete naivety. i like to tell myself that you are just naive to how much hurt you have truly caused me, because otherwise some of what you have done (if intentional) should be a **** crime. it ***** feeling as though i am not enough for you, i don't know why i care but that's all i've wanted to be. as the weather got colder, i got weaker. although i promised to give you up, i still wanted you near me. after a few too many drinks, i seem to continue to become a mere thought in your mind. stupid me, i seem to always get this confused as you actually giving a flying **** about me. if i said that i want more than anything to leave you in the past, i'd unfortunately be lying to myself. i know this needs to be done, but all i can hope for now is that sooner rather than later- the flicker of hope that i still have extinguishes itself.
to be continued.........
Dec 24, 2016
Dec 24, 2016 at 12:10 AM UTC