#hitting
“It’s okay.”
You actually had the nerve to say it!
While I’m scraping my dignity off the hardwood!
While I’m scrubbing the copper of my own blood out of the rug!
You thought it was okay?!
THAT THIS IS OKAY?!
LOOK AT ME!
Look at me.
Broken in the sheets.
Tears streaming—not a leak, a flood.
Paralyzed while the room spins.
I can’t move.
I can’t breathe.
And you’re standing there... washing your hands of it.
My god dam savior comes in a plastic case.
Not you. This.
The mask I have to craft just to survive the version of “okay” you built for me.
I live in the hollows of the floorboards.
I dance on the jagged edges of your mood.
I am an expert in a science I never asked to study.
Yellow for purple.
Peach for blue.
Green for red.
The things I shouldn’t know by heart!
The things I should have never had to memorize!
But I know this math because of you.
I am an artist of my own erasure.
But you love me, right??
Apr 11
Apr 11, 2026 at 3:52 PM UTC
hitting myself in
the head with a chair leg i
sit on the bathroom floor
Apr 9, 2023
Apr 9, 2023 at 8:32 PM UTC
A True Story
by Michael R. Burch
for Jeremy Michael Burch
Jeremy hit the ball today
when he and I went out to play.
He hit it, oh, so far away,
a neighbor had to throw it back!
Jeremy hit the ball so hard
it flew into the neighbor’s yard
and caught the other kids off-guard;
they thought it was an air attack!
Jeremy hit the ball again,
above the sun, beyond the wind;
as we watched it soar and slowly spin ...
we gave high-fives for his awesome smack!
Keywords/Tags: baseball, hitting, backyard, child, children, childhood, kids, fence, neighbor, yard, play, air, home run, homer, high-fives
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 3:20 AM UTC
Square me up with a new a vengeance
Strike thunder of a different kind
Pray not to see my gleaming face when you're ahead
But hear me first
Boom loud with anticipation
When you're behind
Sep 15, 2019
Sep 15, 2019 at 8:57 PM UTC
Thirteen long years spent under his thumb. Sixteen years old is when this begun.
I thought I was in love , now I know I should have left after the first shove.
I stayed instead, chalking it up as one too many drinks,. Time went on only getting worse, as I got pregnant with his child. The control he had over me was more than mild. It was a push and a shove pulling my hair but worse than that was the emotional abuse he just didn't care.
The longer I stayed the worse it got , now there was another life I had to protect.
My story goes on for around 10 more years , another baby with him and many hidden tears .
Please don't judge others by what you may see because behind those closed doors is a scarred and scorn woman that wants to be free .
Free from the abuse she gets everyday the threats of him taking her life away . The fear of what would happen to her children if he snapped and did what he said, The fear she feels laying beside a monster in her bed, the fear that her children will grow up to believe that abuse is ok because that's all they see ,
So this is a sickness a disease, to treat any human so inhumane,
I don't look for pitty but hope someone out there reads this and it changes their life. You see , I am not a Victom but I am a true Survivor of Domestic Violence you may not be as lucky as me if you stay I promise you you don't have to do anything else just get away .
© kimmied 1105
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 9:59 AM UTC
Joy is the sun's glare, hitting the hot air
as I reach the end of a dark tunnel.
Jun 3, 2017
Jun 3, 2017 at 11:54 AM UTC
You knocked quietly, yelled loudly. Sometimes I can't tell the difference. You come in with fangs out ready to pounce. Little do you ever come for a plesent conversation. But Usually just to mark my walls with your claws again. Your voice is growling and your laugh is a long snarl, one that I can not unhear. The roof shakes at the vibrations of your foot steps. Thump, clatter. Thump, shake. Thump whimper. You circle me with your words, like pray, making me trip and stumble. That is how you win, isn't in? Make your opponent smaller then you feel inside?
You're a slob , you say.
Good for nothing, you yell.
Why are you always alone? You ask.
Why ask when you know? Why make the memory of your words and the feeling of your fists brighter and deeper in my mind? Oh that's write this isn't pleasant talk. You are here to win. To mark me with a stamp saying that I am nothing.
But as I stood up surrounded by nothingness and darkness, I had to remind myself that i am a human. Flesh and bone. A real person. One with a destiny, thoughts and feelings. Not one less important then the other.
I am not little red riding hood who hid under hoods while being consumed by ugly things disguised as familiar.
I am not Bell who did something she swore she would never do; she settled for someone she did not love.
I am the lady of the lake.
I am the tree that fell in the forest and dared to make a noise.
I well not be locked in towers by men afraid of fire.
I well not stay away from the sea and sun and fly in the same air I have always breathed.
I am more, and I am bigger on the inside then you feel on the outside
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 8:29 PM UTC
Time to think
Of what is happening
Ambushed in my own head
The worst kind
Of planned pain
I'm deflated to the floor
Fixated down
Each whip
Hammering at my back
Tasting the wood
I start to count
Adding up the licks
Like electric shocks
Forming patterns in my head
Finding logic in numbers
When she will tire?
This session's termination
Seeking a hint of hope
In her shortness of breath
Whipping the same mark in consistency
Until my skin is tarnished
An obvious sequenced rule
Once my skin becomes raw
The sting takes a turn
To a sharpening burn
numbing quiets the scald
Pain I bare
Until I hear my
Little brother's screams
Punishing my core
My heart beats out
Through my shoulder blades
Begging for my mother to hear it
Our rhythm once connected
Now detached
Unable to hear it's plea
Captured by this creature
Who lives in solitude
Her rotten soul
Living in her own reclkless world
Where no one belongs
It's over finally
As she wanders away
Ordering us to remove our mess
A collection of carnage
And sweaty weeps
Dehydrated in my cloth of depression
Erasing the abuse
Where I retreat
To my bed
And expel cries
For my ears alone
Protesting against my weakness
Refusing to show her
How much she hurts me
© Jl 2016
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 2:23 PM UTC
I drown myself in music
So that I cannot hear
My own mother beating my sisters
There's nothing I can do, and that is what I fear
I drown myself in music
Because if I don't I'll drown in anger
Why the f*ck do you hit my sisters?
DO YOU GET F*CKING PEASURE?!
I drown myself so I cannot listen
To my sister's innocence being beaten out
They'll be as F*CKED AS YOU!
Driven by anger, primal instinct and DOUBT!
I DON'T WANNA LISTEN
TO WHAT I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD
SO I DROWN MYSELF IN MUSIC
AS IT KEEPS ME SANE!
UNLIKE YOU, YOU'RE F*CKING WILD!!!!
Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 2:12 AM UTC
Why is it that every word you speak
I expect insults instead of compliments.
Why do you show your love for me through angry hands,
why can't you show me you love me by loving me
rather than destroying me.
I am scared of what is next.
I am scared of how many more times your hands will be covering my mouth.
I know you love me.
But I also know you hate who I am.
I love him but we are both victims.
We cannot seem to control ourselves any longer.
There is more hate filled touching than love filled.
I have become your biggest pet peeve.
I am the nagging in your ear.
You will never admit this to me,
but I am clever enough to see the hate you have for me by the lack of touch,
the way your eyes don't glaze over when you look at me anymore.
I keep trying to put you out of your misery of the burden that I have become.
You won't let me.
I am sorry I have become a chore.
I never wanted to be the person you wanted the least.
Dec 15, 2015
Dec 15, 2015 at 3:03 PM UTC
When He realizes
He can't tell you "no"
He'll make you feel "no"
you'll feel his disapproval
across your face
and in the places
you hit the floor too many times.
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 11:31 PM UTC
1,
I will tell you every detail and fact no matter how mean,
lets start off by being honest I was turning sixteen,
2,
my life was falling faster then the leaves from trees,
Dropped like petals from decaying flowers
because they were ignored by the bee's,
I was wilting massively wanting to be free,
of my misery,
3,
**** is not something they teach you about,
and when it happened to me it was considered allowed,
Because when he did it,
I didn't have a fit,
or say "No stop",
I just kept crying like I was before in even more shock,
But like a toddlers screams and cries,
Your demanding wants was the only compromise,
But in the the same way,
my cries made me just as much as your baby,
4,
and he didn't take care of me,
like he promised he would,
like any man claims they could,
5,
I was still cutting myself up again,
until December 2014 on the 10th,
That's when I decided to stop,
6,
We had split, in late February,
the year before now as it still felt then it felt even more necessary,
now to cut myself again,
because like my face has been a women though she could be so plain,
and state to me sweetie,
as I listened to a women use words like a child does things sneaky,
As she explained to me how badly you had mistreated me,
7,
I didn't disagree,
but she and I knew I wore a face of unbelief,
like how a drug addict doesn't wish to admit there mistreatment,
but to make it worse she tied in my mother and father,
like tying the rope on there daughter,
8,
I now sat on the floor,
my life I lived was not the same and I couldn't handle more,
I heard her talk to me about the school,
and all the kids there,
and what they did to me,
but right then my body only knew how to go through the motions,
of point A to point B,
when I got up and grabbed a pen,
and began,
8,
I spoke about my 8th birthday my final birthday party,
9,... I mean 10,
I wrote on my arms,
till both looked like a henna tattoo's gone into a complete mess,
but they were names,
and places,
and everything,
because I remembered everyone's words,
11,
I took the pen,
and on each sleeve of hate,
I made what as a normal person would call there own fate,
pen in hand I put pen to skin and pressed down,
and like how you press your lips and body to the person you love
you move around,
12,
the pen was pulled down,
and like Siemens twins
the other helped me drown
the next one.
13,
the day before my birthday I leave the hospital,
and I know what I did was not logical
but like a freak it was probable,
and the kids not knowing the scars on my arms,
the wounds I had created most due to them,
still picked on me,
14,
I went home and my mom yelled at me,
I skipped dinner,
woke to the same thing,
she demanded to drive me in,
and hit me the whole five minute car ride there,
15,
It was my birthday,
my 16th birthday,
and I hit my mother back finally,
while she was driving,
16,
I arrived at school,
and she was cursing at me,
so I cursed back,
Called her a **** and ran inside crying,
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 2:37 PM UTC
i want to walk this bomb field
without hitting the bombs
no dog with me this time
to sniff them out
Apr 19, 2015
Apr 19, 2015 at 2:59 PM UTC
A man does not hit a woman
Does not put her through that misery
Slaps, and beats them till they cry every night
Never makes her feel like inside, she is empty
Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 3:53 PM UTC
You held me tight through my nightmares
You helped me escape from these snares
You are- no were my knight
You gave me a fright
You got mad at me
You wouldn't leave me be
You hit me if I did something wrong
Yet You made me feel that I belonged
You saved me from myself, made me smile
I'll stay with You for a while
No, I won't leave You... you will get mad
Bruises on my face You made as a fad
I will cover for You, love
Lets hope God watches me and You from above
I promise not to make You mad anymore
You are angry, 1 hit, 2, 3, 4
I still love You
I know You love me too
Nov 26, 2014
Nov 26, 2014 at 3:43 PM UTC
I tried to write about abuse
How the hitting makes the
Hurting ease
The shame and fear rage out and strike
Bleeding, pulsing crimson shrieks and shouts
Curling fists and guts
Determined to be done
To be finished with the fear and frustration
Cursing, blaming, hating another person
And yourself is somehow easier
More natural
When loving isn't easily
There, anywhere
Absent from awareness like
Light in the darkness jumping shadows
But then, I wasn't sure if I was writing about him or her...
Ouch.
Sep 10, 2014
Sep 10, 2014 at 3:51 PM UTC
my body is a jail
and I'm hitting and screaming
from the inside
Jul 25, 2014
Jul 25, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
It was kind of like you were injecting me with yourself
Except you keep missing the vein.
The bruises on my arms became the out-played artsy reminder of your actuality
Though you made sure that when the reminder faded and healed you were right there to bring me back into your world of needles and twisted gravity
What makes you think you can leave for weeks
You're standing near but you've never been further away from my desperate grasp
The withdrawal of you is excruciating
Like a recovering alcoholic in a liquor store except there's no automatic door or transparent window to reveal a salvation on the other side.
The only salvation is taking another hit of you
So, that is what I shall do
Until the day I overdose on your intoxication .
Jun 4, 2014
Jun 4, 2014 at 3:27 PM UTC