#hiraeth
In the stillness of dawn, a soldier dreams,
Of a home left behind, or was it just a gleam?
Hiraeth grips the heart, a silent yearning stream,
For a place he cannot reach, but knows by heart's theme.
Memories flicker like stars in the night,
Of laughter and warmth, of love shining bright.
Yet the battlefield's echoes drown out the sight,
A soldier's dream of home, in the midst of the fight.
Hiraeth whispers in the rustling leaves,
A home unrealised, a heart that grieves.
Through the chaos and noise, a soul believes,
In the dream of returning, a soldier achieves.
May 26
May 26, 2026 at 7:02 AM UTC
Our saving grace
now leaves me with a perplexing taste of hiraeth in my mouth
In our moment of need, we clung to it
although simple
and dashingly ordinary
we wouldn't be here without it
but now that it inches toward its inevitable end
I am filled with bitter nostalgia
one of empty promises
for even when our season was ending
I cared for you nonetheless
I clung to your ruminating sweet taste
for even when your newfound thorns engulfed me
I held on
watering jug in hand
and laid my eyes on your grand opulent tree
just as fondly as before
Now we are back in season
but my hands have grown rough and weary from the thorns of yesterday
your once dulcet taste
repulses me
for the taste of my blood is surprisingly pungent.
Apr 13, 2021
Apr 13, 2021 at 2:03 AM UTC
If our tongues were blades,
They'd be hiraeth lulling me to sleep.
An exotic dance, a battlefield
Jan 4, 2021
Jan 4, 2021 at 10:24 AM UTC
Where is my old childhood lost
A paradise it was in those fields
I long now for a untimed halt,
A way back to those reveries.
The Sun barely lightens up the soul,
It is, within me . .. winter freeze.
A sabrelight of foregone days strike,
A forlorn descent into insanity.
Optimism comes at a price, of course,
There is but not much to usurp.
Thus I sit in despair and toil _
Away to faraway runaway scenes.
Foreboding, apprehensive are the skies,
My thoughts, my muses .. only company.
Nov 26, 2020
Nov 26, 2020 at 10:22 PM UTC
Oh how silly for a heart to yearn for a home that doesnt exist
For a chest to ache with the sickness that one only gets when they've traveled too far
For a soul to feel as though it were born in the wrong universe
For hands to tingle with idle magic at their fingertips
Until it overflows, onto a page, into a song, over pillows and sheets as tears cascade and stain and drown
Oh how tragic for Hiraeth to take hold
Oct 29, 2020
Oct 29, 2020 at 6:03 AM UTC
He called me Hiraeth
and I never knew why
he carried me in cupped hands
like water,
like evaporating rain.
He called me Hiraeth
and i never knew why
he held me in clenched arms
like ghosts,
like people he has already lost
He called me Hiraeth
and I never knew why
he dropped me through stratospheres
like atom bombs
like war, famine, hate
He called me Hiraeth
and I never knew why
he watched me through refugee eyes
like a burned home
like a train barreling into the night
Aug 19, 2020
Aug 19, 2020 at 1:17 PM UTC
Like sand
he slipped away from me
he was Hiraeth
a lost home
to me
Aug 19, 2020
Aug 19, 2020 at 1:01 PM UTC
earth
once inhabited
for containment
bottled up cider
— soon too sour
that we do is beautiful
but fleeting – living
a vile act of pure free will
blissful less peaceful
the corpses we make
Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020 at 6:10 PM UTC
The days go by,
as I carry on,
in this mundane
reality
of the burden of toil
and shards of turmoil.
Amidst this,
spiked, is my mind
of longing for something
lost in the passage
of time, a memory.
A want for sanity
amidst the rampant insanity.
A path to a place, a home.
As we wound ourselves,
from the ambiguous predicament.
Jun 2, 2020
Jun 2, 2020 at 11:51 AM UTC
I am not here ..
This is not me ..
The hands. They're tied
The eyes, can they even see?
I am not here ..
My heart aches furthest away
My lips still taste freshness of the dew
Wisp of the morning air as I alight here
Those far off hills still hear my silence
Strengthen my arms to attain a balance
In an utterly unbalanced existence
Of bidding at a foreigners' coherence
Emotionally capsized as I try to rise
Mindless, alive _ as I count my breath
This is not me ..
I do not live here ..
Humility defeated at novelty's sake
Honesty killed at the behemoth's gate
Humming a hymn of the hilly way
Gathering pain for all It is at stake
Making a living, just not living today
This is not me ..
Find me someplace else
Have never been charred as I seem
Have never been jaded and careless
Over analysing was a known part
Yet I let it all just go by cynic's way
This is not me ..
I have to dream now
Final reprieve from this trying stay
Heaven stands witness I tried today
Quitting sans fight has never been my way
Caged yet with the birds I warged in today
Love in their flight, wish I could stay
Wish I could stay
I am not here
Not at all here
Today
Mar 30, 2020
Mar 30, 2020 at 3:51 AM UTC
midnights still find me retracing the moments
that led to our thousand lakeside kisses;
they were secrets left in a summer dream.
each second — a bowline knot
leading straight to our
late night drives
and vehicle breakdowns
and last minute goodbyes
at the break of dawn.
midnights still find me sleeping
next to a shoebox of the books you left;
i still hear your voice
when i read the lines
of your favorite paragraphs
the clock hands, mocking,
leading me through a maze of
memories and parking lot conversations.
midnights still find me rewriting histories
with resin-pressed flowers,
maybe the petals will point to where
i started losing you —
and maybe it's in every direction.
the black, bold numbers have become my crumbs
leading to road trips and
to all the bus stops we missed,
kissing;
now i still miss my stop
without your lips next to mine.
and midnights still find me
writing poems like these
but clearly,
you're too far off
for these words to reach.
and now, midnights still find me wanting you back.
and 'til now, midnights still find you gone.
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 7:52 AM UTC
My love for you has started to astrophy
Muscel memory only exist if you can actually remember how to use it
And my heart has been cold for a long time
Frozen in a state of anguish
I do not want it back
Because with it comes pain and heartache
I can not take it anymore
My body has had enough
It's like self flagellation
Only I never see it coming
And it ******* carries a heavy punch
It's easy to walk around and pretend
That Felicity still belongs to me
And a lot harder to live in truth and wear my pain on my sleeve, a place my heart should be
I've never really had to be in the closet before
But with this...
With this I find skeletons pilling up around
Me
No air left to breath
I feel like I am running
Running out of time
Running out of energy
Running out of hope
And I refuse to bruise my knees
For someone who needs
More than I can give
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 1:33 AM UTC
I measure time in intervals of ten
Ten seconds;
The amount of time it takes for words to leave your lips and hit my ears like they were wrapped up in anthrax, poisonous.
Ten minutes;
The amount of time It took me to convince myself that everything you conditioned me to believe is your truth, not mine.
Ten months;
The amount of time it will take me to feel like you no longer have a hold on me, free.
Ten years;
The amount of time before All of the cracks and pieces you took from me all fine their way back, complete.
I measure time in intervals of ten,
Because ten is a hell of a lot easier than forever.
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 4:25 AM UTC
Occasionally I forget you're gone
Like when I take a few seconds
To notice the leaves have changed
The smell of cinnamon pollutes the air
But
It only ever lasts a few seconds
And then Im back
Counting down month's
Days
Minutes
Seconds
And I can not help but to wonder
When occasionally will show up agian
Jun 9, 2019
Jun 9, 2019 at 3:07 AM UTC
Distance is a weird phenomenon, so is time.
We were two continents apart, yet connected.
So far yet so close.
We are in the same city and yet I can't see you.
So close yet so far.
Maybe because tears often blur my vision.
I talk to you and you make everything sound so normal, like nothing ever changed.
We never stopped talking. But we never started as well. And now that you're going, I feel like you were long gone before you came back.
I think it's fair enough: we didn't meet when you left, we didn't meet when you came back.
I hope this settles the score.
Until next time,
All my love.
Mar 2, 2019
Mar 2, 2019 at 11:52 AM UTC
The sound of home isn’t an
ordinary sound.
It’s the sound you hear
when your laughing with
your family.
It’s the sound you hear
when a guitar plays
from the corner of your
ear.
The way his guitar strums
and makes me feel warm
Inside, like warm tea going
down your throat.
The feeling of home isn’t an
ordinary feeling.
It’s the goosebumps you get
as a leaf blows by you.
The colour orange as a
constant reminder of your
Childhood, like the rain that
drips from the grey skies.
I can not define home with
just words, but i can with
silence.
The pitter-patter of rain
immune to me to become
the silence.
No birds or grasshoppers
chirping, not even any sound
from the wild thieves with
striped tails wondering in
the night.
Only the sound of memories
repeating in my head.
And the images repeating to
bring a smile to my face.
To make me think to myself,
that’s my home and i’ll never
forget it.
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 5:52 PM UTC
homesick for the home
that never been mine
homesick for the home
that never existed
missing you
that never been mine
you exist
but you were still not mine
you are my house i go back to
but never my home
you exist
but never was my home
Jan 3, 2019
Jan 3, 2019 at 4:53 AM UTC
when i open my eyes
all i see are the ghosts of yesterday
their silhouettes dancing along my walls
in the morning light
i see all of the promises broken
wishes left unspoken
and my heart longs for something
something it's never truly known
but when i close my eyes
i see you and i
lost in the forest of your eyes
your lips deeply pressed against mine
fireworks illuminate the sky
and for once my heart beats slowly
it doesn't long for anything
for once i feel at home
Jul 12, 2018
Jul 12, 2018 at 3:19 PM UTC
Hiraeth calls me
it is painful
and sometimes ineffable
I could not word it
longing, longing, longing
your name,
you know
is mellifluous
But hiraeth calls me
I'm in limerence
with the thought of you
Maybe that is why
I can not stand it
everytime you look at me
and speak
this feeling is illicit
I want you
And hiraeth calls me
I'm feeling homesick
home, home, home
to you,
you know
I can not return
you were never mine.
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 3:32 PM UTC
You're the dark blue hue set over the beauty of untravelled worlds
Drawing me back to the blanket of a comforting home
Drowning me in sickly sweet memories
Turning my hopes and my dreams to pointless could of beens
You're the poloroids stuck to the shabby cabin walls
A constant burning reminder of what I left behind
A snapshot of a non-existent place
That I yearn so hard to go home and find
You're an anxious longing for untouched perfection
I wish to hold it in my gentle hands
A love for the soft yet constant melody
Of an old song from my favourite band
You hold me back, hugging me in the comfort of your wooden arms
I'm oblivious that the plane I board will turn your wood to charcoal
And my perfect metallic palace
Will rust in the acid rain
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 3:36 PM UTC
In a castle constructed of bones on a mountain high,
our hero sits alone on an ivory throne,
waiting for his current state of jejune to pass.
Whisperings of a voice, mellifluous air,
a singing so beautiful his heart skips a beat
at the gentle murmurings of such an ethereal voice.
And so he vacates his ivory throne
in search of this songbird that has invaded his walls,
the voice instils a certain hiraeth in his mind,
that village once so dear to him that now lies in ruins
due to his incandescent bursts of magical madness.
The owner of this voice, the eloquence, the elegance,
the image in his head that of a maiden on a rock,
as naked as the day she was born
and bathed in an iridescent sunrise.
A scintilla of a break in her voice
and she begins to sob at the meaning of her words.
He finds the source of this angelic sound,
a woebegone but comely creature supine on a table,
her eyes staring into heavenly mountains of madness.
She does not look to meet his wild-eyed gaze,
instead melting away until she is nothing at all,
leaving only dancing embers and phosphenes where she had lain.
He hears this burst of angelic quavers every day
but his madness permits no memory of each
to reside in his brain, comfortable and snug.
Instead, he suffers this delusion every morning,
when his head his quiet and thoughts are oblivion.
This siren swansong has no source in reality,
it is the last vestige of a mind damaged by time and solitude,
where the dawn chorus each morn’s twilight goes unheard,
but the ghostly choral vocalisations of a bitter memory
break his trance and he searches for the only sound not real.
Jul 15, 2017
Jul 15, 2017 at 8:03 PM UTC
you were never home to me
but my longing for that was so intense, it almost felt like you were
and then all at once i realized; you're my hiraeth
to be with you, inside our own four walls, was all i desired
but our house was destined to burn down
our love is a set of stars that make up a constellation
too complicated for even the most experienced astrologists to decipher
but you will continue to be my hiraeth
because the comfort i feel when im in your arms is incomparable
and although you cant be, you will always feel like home to me
i yearned for our love to be forever
but it was meant to desist
and then all at once i realized; it's our ephemeral
lamentably, it can't be our forever
for it was made of stars, and all stars have to die out eventually
but let's let it be ephemeral
because although the stars will dwindle away soon,
while they are still burning bright, they are beautiful,
and so are we
Oct 23, 2016
Oct 23, 2016 at 3:00 PM UTC
Then it hit me:
You're my hiraeth
You never held home in your heart
Only smelled like it when you held me in your arms
You've got wanderer written inside your bones
You could never be my home
I only thought you were
Because I wanted you to be
I wanted to belong with you, inside four walls, forever
But we were meant to explode and burn
There's no caution to our love
We can't be each other's security
Our love is made of fire and stars, combusting and combusting until there's nothing left behind
But I'll let you be my hiraeth
Because you hold adventure in your eyes
Begging me with just a look "one more ride?"
And I know you've got a string tied around my heart
As i run along side
Then it hit me:
You're my ephemeral
You were never meant to last
Only held too much wisdom in your past
You're going to die before you're old
For only so long can your veins pump gold
I only thought you would last
Because I wanted you to
I wanted you to be forever, to lay here forever with me, at home
But you were meant to burn out
Live fast, love hard, and die before your time
You can't be my forever
We are made of matches and candles and rushed kisses and goodbyes
But I'll let you be my ephemeral
Because you hold knowledge in your eyes
And when I beg you "just one last ride?"
You smile as if you know it will be
Because every moment is your last
Sep 3, 2016
Sep 3, 2016 at 9:18 PM UTC