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#highheels
I crept into my soul in the profoundest night: where spectral owls honked and hooted in fickle fright and tongues rasped out sihouettes- deepening shadows crawled from ***** mouths, and love slunk around tattered skirts in imitation of fungi growths: paper covered me from head to shin when I let the shadows thin fingers in! words assembled like building blocks men in high-heels/boys in frocks.                            In the morning, the sun scoured my skin. I leant on the devil, standing alone,                           he flipped me a coin like he'd just tossed me a biscuit and a blood-red bone,                as I whimpered into the mirror's torn shimmering shafts of innocence, where beauty assaulted the black-eyed crone for salutory afternoon tea, the pretty boy charging the ugly boy an extortionate fee. and the devil sang in the metronomic gloom of departed joys. I returned to my room, playing with the boys- coming intensely as the ice displayed the solitary if fashionable route to Hades. .
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Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018 at 5:19 PM UTC
PRETTY BOY
I climbed a mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels And how I wish you’d been there To see the looks on the faces of people who don’t know me Who didn’t even care But there I was with blisters And when they asked if they hurt I quietly shook my head. And I hid my tears in my hair, Because there was plenty to soak them up, And there was no other use for my curls at the time. But I climbed a mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels. I know you watched me from the bottom, And I’d wished so badly that you’d come following behind Telling me I didn’t have to do this by myself Even though we both knew I did… If I ever wanted to be happy again. If I ever wanted to love again. So you didn’t chase me… You didn’t. And I know why. I guess it was enough to know that you were watching It was enough until today Because watching isn’t the same from that far away I think there was a moment when you thought I was happy With someone else But a smile isn’t the same from that far away And I don’t think you saw the number of times I looked back Trying to find you Because this boy wasn’t you I think there was a moment when you saw us kiss And yes, We did But kisses look different from that far away And they were never planted anywhere special Like ours This boy and I, We planted them in rocky places along the edge of the mountainside, Where nothing grows and no one will stop to admire them. They’re already dead today. This boy, He found me on the mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels And I’d wished I hadn’t hidden so many tears in my hair like that Because it looked limp and loose and ugly. But he said I looked pretty when I cried, Even though it broke his heart. He carefully took those heels off And softly caressed the blisters I could tell by his face he knew that I hurt And why I was climbing And why I was crying And why I knew I couldn’t make it all the way up there, All alone, To the top of the world So he scooped me into his arms And whispered so many wonderful things I think you thought I loved him, because I smiled a little, sometimes But he carried me farther away from you Until I couldn’t see you anymore But it shouldn’t have mattered, because we made it to the top. We should’ve been at the top… But I missed you still… I don’t know if you ever knew that. But I want you to know that. And I wish you could hear me say it: I missed you. The boy left today. And I don’t know why I let him run away with my favorite pair of heels. Well. I didn’t let him run away with them.  I only meant to let him take them off... It’s impossible to get them back now. I don’t think you know yet what those heels meant to me, And why they should be important to you. But I will tell you someday. Because it is important. And I think you should know. My feet hurt. And I really don’t know why I tried running that day. Maybe I didn’t understand what it meant to just wait for a while. I think you know I hate that word by now. But I do. Which is ironic. If you think about the conversations I have with you. Where you pick my thoughts like cotton And leave me empty, telling me nothing. But I don’t really mind. It was a mistake to leave my heart down there I forgot to pack it before I set out to get over it all- -I’m looking for you, You know. I left my heart down there for a reason, And I’m just stuck now, Dangling my feet over the edge of the world, Scanning the bottom. Wondering where you went off to. Sigh.
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Jan 30, 2013
Jan 30, 2013 at 12:35 AM UTC
The Bottom
I climbed a mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels And how I wish you’d been there To see the looks on the faces of people who don’t know me Who didn’t even care But there I was with blisters And when they asked if they hurt I quietly shook my head. And I hid my tears in my hair, Because there was plenty to soak them up, And there was no other use for my curls at the time. But I climbed a mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels. I know you watched me from the bottom, And I’d wished so badly that you’d come following behind Telling me I didn’t have to do this by myself Even though we both knew I did… If I ever wanted to be happy again. If I ever wanted to love again. So you didn’t chase me… You didn’t. And I know why. I guess it was enough to know that you were watching It was enough until today Because watching isn’t the same from that far away I think there was a moment when you thought I was happy With someone else But a smile isn’t the same from that far away And I don’t think you saw the number of times I looked back Trying to find you Because this boy wasn’t you I think there was a moment when you saw us kiss And yes, We did But kisses look different from that far away And they were never planted anywhere special Like ours This boy and I, We planted them in rocky places along the edge of the mountainside, Where nothing grows and no one will stop to admire them. They’re already dead today. This boy, He found me on the mountain yesterday In my favorite pair of heels And I’d wished I hadn’t hidden so many tears in my hair like that Because it looked limp and loose and ugly. But he said I looked pretty when I cried, Even though it broke his heart. He carefully took those heels off And softly caressed the blisters I could tell by his face he knew that I hurt And why I was climbing And why I was crying And why I knew I couldn’t make it all the way up there, All alone, To the top of the world So he scooped me into his arms And whispered so many wonderful things I think you thought I loved him, because I smiled a little, sometimes But he carried me farther away from you Until I couldn’t see you anymore But it shouldn’t have mattered, because we made it to the top. We should’ve been at the top… But I missed you still… I don’t know if you ever knew that. But I want you to know that. And I wish you could hear me say it: I missed you. The boy left today. And I don’t know why I let him run away with my favorite pair of heels. Well. I didn’t let him run away with them.  I only meant to let him take them off... It’s impossible to get them back now. I don’t think you know yet what those heels meant to me, And why they should be important to you. But I will tell you someday. Because it is important. And I think you should know. My feet hurt. And I really don’t know why I tried running that day. Maybe I didn’t understand what it meant to just wait for a while. I think you know I hate that word by now. But I do. Which is ironic. If you think about the conversations I have with you. Where you pick my thoughts like cotton And leave me empty, telling me nothing. But I don’t really mind. It was a mistake to leave my heart down there I forgot to pack it before I set out to get over it all- -I’m looking for you, You know. I left my heart down there for a reason, And I’m just stuck now, Dangling my feet over the edge of the world, Scanning the bottom. Wondering where you went off to. Sigh.
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