#hesitant
I'm far from being a worthy investment
It's pretty evident
Someone would have every right to be hesitant
And feel the growth of resentment
When so many details are absent
My mood isn't constant
Had a mind but lost it
Thoughts run rampant
But are often incoherent
Called the cops on myself for self inflicted harassment
A living predicament
The opposite of a sycophant
My betterment is, at best, flippant
And I can already tell everybody's sick of it
©2024
May 26, 2024
May 26, 2024 at 11:56 AM UTC
My adoring stare
Loves you
Like I'm yours
But I stay behind
With my eyes down
So you may not know
For fear you may erase
Both our smiles
With the doubt
In your mind
Mar 5, 2024
Mar 5, 2024 at 7:49 PM UTC
it was the day, i didn’t expect to find you
i didn’t expect to learn you
i didn’t expect to share so much
i was hesitant at first, but of course
i gave in, i opened up knowing full
you will left me too
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 12:54 PM UTC
Ill awakening
I rise to meet this cruel day
and drag myself on
Sep 12, 2020
Sep 12, 2020 at 10:29 AM UTC
Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
A man locks eyes with an artificial light
that shows a world clouded in darkness. Gleaming with empty words and false promises, the light is shut.
“Not now,” he says, as he drifts of into the night.
Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
The man springs from his bed, chasing the light.
Yet his calloused hands go stiff—
he backs away with a shake of the head.
“I’m not ready,” he says, as he eyeballs a dusky mirror reflecting on days that have long gone.
Ding! . . . Ding! . . .
This time, he merely acknowledged the light—
the light that enamored him once, maybe twice.
Yet this time, he simply glanced
as it died in the twilight.
“Why bother?” he says, as he dreams of days that once were.
Aug 12, 2020
Aug 12, 2020 at 8:50 AM UTC
at the outset of self foundation
i am bewildered into self containment
for nothing i see is me
and what i am now
lay naked and reluctant
to seek the unattainable goal
contentment
which is in itself
confusion
Aug 8, 2020
Aug 8, 2020 at 8:40 PM UTC
Blame the restraints
for putting things off
When juggling lots
are you equipped to restrict
Having let previous priorities slip
Is a sense of urgency necessary
to measure the relevance of discipline
Hesitant rings when the end is nigh
The bottom line aligned to confine
Day turns to night in the passage of time
Ignorance's bliss blisters bright
As the goal is narrowing
A margin call for all your foresight
You've done enough not to miss
Jul 28, 2020
Jul 28, 2020 at 3:39 AM UTC
What lie in your home,
In corners, undisturbed.
Are there thoughts, feelings, of things unknown,
Or one's that may preturb?
Have you ever felt a draft blow through;
That shiver of regret.
Or is your heart hidden from outside view,
Unseen, by even you.
Saftey in shelter, in secrets kept,
I see you, tall and proud.
I also peer through veil and shroud,
Seeing loss for which you've never wept.
How can you expect, to be love adept,
Shunning all feelings which have crept.
Feb 7, 2020
Feb 7, 2020 at 11:00 PM UTC
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
ሁለት መንገዶች
አረንጓዴ ቢጫማ ጫካ
ውስጥ ተሰንጥቀው፣
ተለያዩ ባላ ሰርተው፡፡
ቅር የሚያሰኝ ቢሆንም፣
በሁልቱም መንግደ ተጉዤ
አንድ መንገደኛ
ልሆን አልችልም፣
ስለዚህ ቀጥ ብዬ ቆምኩ፣
እንደዛ እንዳደረኩ፣
እስከምችለው ርቀት
ቋጥኙ እስከሚያሽቖለቁልበት
አንዱን መንገድ አማተርኩ፣
ከዚም ምናልባትም ያም
ደህና የሚመስለውን፣
መረጥኩ ሌላኛውን፣
አርንጓዴ ሳራማውን፣
መቀደስ መታሸት የሚሻውን!
ግና በሱም ላይ መረማመድ፣
አዛምዶታል ከዛኛው መንገድ!
የዛን ጠዋት ሁለቱም መንገዶች፣
ነበሩ የተነሰነሱባቸው
የቅጠል ቄጤማዎች፣ ያላወየቦቸው
ተጓዝ እግሮች፡፡
ዘመን በዘመን ከታጅበ በኋላ
በትዝታ ባቡር ይሔን
አጠንጥኜ ወደኋላ
አወሳለሁ
‹‹ሁለት መንገዶች
አረንጓዴ ቢጫማ ጫካ
ውስጥ ተሰንጥቀው፣
ተለያዩ ባላ ሰርተው!››
እናም መረጥኩ
እምብዛምያልተዘወተረውን
ለልዩነቱ፣ ያ ነው ሁሉም ምክኒያቱ!
(በሮበርት ፍሮስተ/ትርጉም ዓለም ኃይሉ ገ/ክርሰቶስ)
Dec 7, 2019
Dec 7, 2019 at 5:27 AM UTC
Psychological warfare
been there
been square
ain't fair
but you gotta run with it
listen, i know it is hard to be different
But we s'posed to be
this the life that we livin
livin, Are you really living?
Are you really listening to the words i say
take it day by day child
And it ain't breezy to be bold
to be the type that will speak up loud without the choke
And it ain't easy to be the punch line that can't be told
an absent cough preceding a milky ****
Dearly departin'
I'm not a g but i move how the move with a head full of smarts man(j.s.)
Just remember that when your self care gets put on hold
you leave your own fire out in the cold.
And what a shame you're always learning
opposed what you were told
dear child don't let them steal the light emitting from your soul- you can't even put down the shovel to realize you diggin' yourself deep ina hole
Before you heal it's gonna be a while
I know it's gonna be a while child
chin up child don't let em win
protect yourself, love yourself and nurture what stirs within
and man ignore the knocking- don't open the door
in the fifth dimension you still rocking the crown that your ancestors wore
but with it comes the blood sweat 'nd tears that they hoard
don't get it twisted you're simply a new vessel that your family bore
Don't explain anymore.
watch your company mama they clouding up your aura
too many people claiming to be woke whilst walkin' in they sleep
sometimes all you gotta do is close your eyes
to unmask the wolves disguised as sheep
we livin' it up but when the street lights be flashin'
we dashin' we ain't be lookin' back to notice who is or isn't laggin'
Ya son's been running the streets
then runnin' the sheets with loose babies makin cursed babies
Dear child
Sometimes i try not to make the song cry
Jay Z
baby
my own mama hate me
But i don't sweat a drop
cause I grew into the cream of the crop
Destined to find the path that will lead my flesh to the top
and with each day that passes by i'll laugh i'll cry i'll learn
became the flame- now watch me burn
AHG mama we made it!
AHG you really hate it!
you n your mans can get up, get down
AHG wait
ya'll way too faded
Dear child
and when the song starts to cry I don't hold back
in fact
i let it seep into your souls
only my art can fill these holes
despite ya'll moles
im out
Nov 5, 2019
Nov 5, 2019 at 12:44 PM UTC
We dip our toe into life's pool
and watch the ripples
affect the lives of those around us
hoping not to offend
but fit in, without too much disturbance
we may even walk a little way off shore
considering ourselves brave
to have come this far
but there are those who
regardless of how cold the water may be
will plunge head first, screaming
into the blue
I watch them, jealously
hesitating in the shallows.
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 4:56 AM UTC
i laughed at all those jokes you made about falling
yet here i am feeling tears fall because i realise
i tripped at every sweet sentence you said
& now i can’t tie my shoe laces to stop myself.
my shoes were dancing with yours
to a song i associate with you now
& although i know someone kicked you before
& that you’re not ready to throw out those old sneakers,
my laces are getting tied up with yours.
you’re kneeling down to undo them,
& i want to do it, too, to protect myself,
but my heart laces are making me fall.
& then they wonder why kids take off their shoes.
oh, the irony; they don’t get hurt.
Apr 24, 2019
Apr 24, 2019 at 12:32 PM UTC
these
f e e l i n g s
never
deserved
any
r e c o g n i t i o n
no
metaphor
is worthy
to
d e s c r i b e
this
l i t t l e
secret
that
i
h i d e
yet
your
name
r h y m e s
with
every word i
t h i n k
which
makes my
h e l p l e s s
heart
s h r i n k
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018 at 4:13 AM UTC
II silence
"I fear I may lose myself
before our first kiss..."
Fifty calls later
we still talk
about nothing
And nothing
is certain
Not the wildfires
Not the rainstorms
Just this beating
of the clock...
Dec 2, 2018
Dec 2, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC
I "LIGAW"
"The vibrato of this gypsy dance
Wanes under the midnight sun"
It's blue and amber all at once. In those brief
moments, i imagine a future for us.
A flutter of a smile passes. A deep sigh.
I hear a million tones of "maybe",
watch the moon fade.
The blur stays with me long after.
It covers up a hollow beating and
a thrill of the unsaid and unmet.
Nov 25, 2018
Nov 25, 2018 at 5:55 AM UTC
Crippling self doubt
plagues my existence.
Injecting itself into my blood stream;
immobilizing my muscles
numbing my tongue
and muting my voice box.
It quenches its thirst
by tearing my self image
limb from limb and
ploughing my insides
till there is nothing left.
It either bombards like
gunfire inside my head
firing flaws into questions
or drain each cell's confidence
leaving the muscles to shiver and shudder
and words hesitant to leave my tongue.
My flesh that houses doubt
is familiar with every capillary of my insecurity;
Whispering my shortcomings
and scrutinizing the details that make me, me.
It is a constant fight, invisible to the eyes.
Internal;
it's all in my head.
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 9:31 AM UTC
a feather flying,
hesitantly in the breeze;
freedom from the bird?
Nov 3, 2017
Nov 3, 2017 at 5:29 AM UTC
BRAVERY WON’T ALWAYS **** YOU
I ought to know why you stare at me with intention,
but you treat me with hesitation.
Fear what you know for sure, and swim into unknown waters and learn to love an uncharted sea that knows no boundaries with a full heart.
There lies a shore with white sands and calming winds, the comfort of knowing.
Maybe, you’d learn to love again, if you decided to jump into the sea.
Nov 1, 2017
Nov 1, 2017 at 2:16 AM UTC
*I confess that I fear everything,
& coming out of my shell is yet to find!
Dear fears, I wish you could go for a vacation away from me!
with you I am hesitant as well as resistant all the time.
I don't know how to explain.
I wish I could let go of all of them
And do everything I ever wanted to do.
Thoughts keeps running across my mind
figuring no way out except thinking.
And my time is flowing fast enough...
I wish there was somebody to push me from the cliff
so that I could actually start living..
But, I get it, there is nobody except me
I have to push myself
Not for others but for myself.
I don't want to change for other but for myself..*
Apr 2, 2017
Apr 2, 2017 at 2:13 AM UTC
Forgive me,
for all the poems
that I had not finish.
For those poems
you insisted to see,
were still fresh
and could not wait to be delivered
to you.
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 12:02 AM UTC
Your love rains down
from the shower head.
Sharp needles of fire
dousing cold feet.
It feels like daggers,
and wouldn't be so,
if I hadn't lingered for so long,
in my frigid hesitancy.
Feb 15, 2016
Feb 15, 2016 at 11:01 PM UTC
I don't think I need to remind you,
Of the thin ice you're on.
Make yourself a disappearing act,
There will be more than words you'll be missing on.
I don't care to be made a fool again,
Breaking me down as you did before.
This my only warning,
Or any open road will be no more.
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 7:27 AM UTC
I will base our relationship
on what the stars say
because I have nothing else to go on.
It's all eggshells dipped in lighter fluid
with us, hot blood, ping pong pupils
that never know when to rest. When
we enter the same room I swear
I see sparks ignight in the static air.
There's blood behind our words
but I don't know if it was spilt in vain
or if this is all part of our story to the road
of forgiveness. Maybe I'm crazy
but I just want to take your hand
and make you agree that we are
both unwarranted.
Feb 1, 2015
Feb 1, 2015 at 6:02 PM UTC