#helloji
I believe we once met
in a faraway land,
on a different epoch,
and only your name resounds
recalling us back to this time
'I recognized your soul at first glance'
Oh hear the sound of the wind
the echoes are the only ones
that transcribe the beats of our hearts
retracing us back to epiphany
that we were once in love
in a different place in time
'we are etched into each other's entity'
— I miss you each and everyday
Feb 4, 2019
Feb 4, 2019 at 12:19 PM UTC
'You are my star, but we all reach that point in life that we no longer wish into one.'
Moving forward to a year, I trace upon the letter I wrote for you.
With the smile on my face, I look up the night sky. I am reminded of how your eyes shine brightly at the scene, and the mole beneath your eye resembles so much of the dots laid up high.
I let out a big sigh. How different it is by this time...
I realized now that we are two of the same; two bright stars. Glowing and burning embers on their own.
We're both coexisting to shine, though we cannot meet for one of us fell for the other too deep already.
A falling star, I cried to you; a shooting star.
How can our stars align? Our paths and distance don’t comply. Far and far across galaxies. You blinded me by that sight. My light cannot compare to yours.
My dearest, you shot too high up the skies to live on your dreams.
And mine just remained being one.
Aug 8, 2018
Aug 8, 2018 at 12:13 PM UTC
I consider him as "my last"
But I know it can be changed
It won't happen
Rather, In my heart
He is someone that will last
Aug 26, 2018
Aug 26, 2018 at 3:16 PM UTC
I just feel so homesick all the time, whenever you're not here with me. I just count on the days on the ticking of the clock. Till you come by the doorstep, back home to me.
— waiting for a moment that will never happen
Aug 7, 2018
Aug 7, 2018 at 9:58 AM UTC
I'll just stay up
since I cannot
let you off my mind.
— wide awake in thoughts of you
Aug 2, 2018
Aug 2, 2018 at 11:18 AM UTC
But like the sun, you're miles away
A star, light years far throughout
I believe we are not existing in the same universe
These are just inside my head
As I keep missing the thoughts of you;
we remain as fragments of my imagination
As it is estimated impossible for you
to be within my grasp—
The universe does not wish for us to exist
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 11:24 AM UTC
You keep me up with thoughts of you
like any other nights
When I think of how your eyes
would wrinkle up to the sides of your face
as you let out a genuine smile
With my fingers evident with smudged lead,
and words flow on paper
of how ethereally beautiful you are
How your existence would surpass tenfold
the radiance of the passing cars
of the busy midnight streets
Oh I just wish to spend a night awake in your arms,
with my fingers in between yours
under the covers of my sheets
The bed doesn't make me want to sleep
They couldn't give me comfort
unlike your smile
that can bring the sun rays to shame
You could not compare to thousand starlights
Your eyes surrender to sleep
And your feeble yawn—
Let us call it the night
Jul 30, 2018
Jul 30, 2018 at 7:52 AM UTC
I count the busy lights of each car passing by this late city night. How I wish that for a singularity— we could have that smidge of a chance.
How you and I would pass by each other swift as chasing cars.
— at least we met;
Jul 31, 2018
Jul 31, 2018 at 12:44 PM UTC
Should I really put faith in myself? But the thought of you being miles away from me, how can I even assure I can look after you the way I can make you stay? The way that you'll want to choose me?
Jul 28, 2018
Jul 28, 2018 at 12:40 PM UTC
I want you to leave traces of me
shot across the galaxies
scatter my star dust with your words
when we see each other
comfort me with a hello
set me off with a kiss
sing me a song of love
before I let your heart
beat to it
look for me in every person
you have come across with a heartbeat
long for something
that haven’t even touched your lips
please wait for me
as we make way for destiny
hope you and I make this a reality
—please come look for me
Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 10:29 AM UTC
In some place safe
breath in the air so fresh
Where leaves dance through the wind
and how the sunlight kiss my skin
I just want to hold your hand
Intertwined to one another
under a full-bloom tree
A place where every birds sing,
where no voices left unheard
Is it too much to ask
to reach out for faces to listen?
Let me leave traces down your back
with my fingers gently
circling a path down your skin
Let my tongue be heard beyond echoes
Let my wishes and love in tune,
free as the seas and as how stars roam
throughout the horizons
Can’t my wounds be healed by thee?
Just by the warmth of your hand is the key
Let me get lost into the vast oceans of your soul
At least let this prayer be given a chance to speak
In some place safe,
a haven for the two of us
I beg— will be this be brought out to life?
Let this not be in the caverns of my mind,
in the deepest cores of my beating heart,
in the near future will it be?
Someday, somewhere, maybe—
Please
I just want it to come true
I’ll not ask for anything else
I’m willing for my heart to bleed
Aug 4, 2018
Aug 4, 2018 at 10:50 AM UTC
My dear,
you look happy lately
I am glad
yet I feel sad
that you could smile
without me
Jul 18, 2018
Jul 18, 2018 at 10:12 AM UTC
that smile of yours
was the start of it all
it caused war zones
down my chest
up to my head
how beautiful you are
could I compare?
a thousand diamonds
laid out up there
a simple glimmer of your eyes
with the swift gesture of your hand
you swept me off my feet
you, turned into my world
I’m a satellite
orbiting around a planet called ‘you’
I will look out for you
through the ends of time
till the last bits of flames
the sun can ought to fume;
to the brim
till my heart can no longer take it
for you, my eyes formed rivers
turn into the clouds
I look up high
your eyes dark as the night sky
You shine the brightest
A star I ought to reach
And down low, I turn
I fell
along the teardrops of my heart
for you, my heart belongs, my dearest
for you have taught me what is more
to be in love
‘thank you’
you not only thought me of the word
but the meaning
to the roots so deep
but love can be cruel
more when you have to be sorry
I just want to pull you close to mine
to stand side by side
without having to think
of where I stand in line
— I have accepted it.
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 9:16 AM UTC
a thought of you
can move me to tears,
the exquisite joy
of seeing your smile
with your figure
a bit taller than mine
right up close to me
next to the sadness
that we might never be
like parallel lines,
asymptotes—
oh how lucky are we
if we were just like that
at least you're within my reach
not like this
where you're galaxies away,
apart with these oceans
flooding us away
like the skies pouring hard rain,
these eyes blur my vision up to you
A star that's out of my league
Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 10:06 AM UTC
stuck in the same place
over and over
I'm growing tired
faded, to look at the other end
A non-existent thread,
to yours— bled red
something I put up tying to mine
to yours— an invisible line
For once I am lost for words,
hollow, empty of a shell with no home
as we are living in different worlds
I will never see you by the doorstep
We're like two matchsticks
you used to burn up my flames
my eyes lit up looking at you—
burning with passion
wasting no gasoline,
my heart you filled up the brim
— now it's a heart burnout
I used to hold on
and vision it clearly up ahead
with you holding my tired hand
with me looking up to smile
my heart used to race a thousand mile
how is it now this came too soon?
now it's just faded
a scene that's white noise filled
you're fading to black quickly
For once I don't see you
standing on the other side
I've held loose of the rope
I'm no longer scared
or anxious
of what we will come about
A future without you
with these feelings wavering—
How come I vision this clearly?
A story with no ‘we’—
An ending page
and from the beginning
that's where
we're supposed to stand in line
Jul 20, 2018
Jul 20, 2018 at 10:09 PM UTC
Is it right or is it wrong
to not ask anything in return
yet wanting to ask for more?
I can be a walking irony
as I make my way closer to you
How can it be
I know that we cannot be
yet risking to cross the seas
to close the gap for a kiss?
Why is it that
the distance between us
cannot drown me
on how far my dream can be—
you're impossible; unattainable
yet why can't I put an end
into these feelings I question
if it's bad or good
to pour on efforts
to soar these emotions still?
Jul 15, 2018
Jul 15, 2018 at 3:11 AM UTC
You were never mine,
but you made me feel as if I were
in your arms,
my hands fit so right with yours
You were never mine,
but your songs seems like we once were
By the melody, we are deep in love
With your words of parting
of a meeting that never once occurred
You were never mine
But sometimes I wish you were
Always but I keep myself hidden
I knew—
from the risk of falling
It just cannot be—
So I fall back
Even if I knew it was a moment too soon
You were never mine,
I knew from the start.
You were never mine.
My love, you were never mine to keep
But you made me feel
like I was yours
And you were mine
— la douleur exquise
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 2:53 AM UTC
“Why is it you always write about the night?”/ he asks as he sees her scribbling down her thoughts again late at one in the morning.
She turns to him, unfazed and gives him a smile meant for the sun to shine down on.
“Because I feel there’s more sense into them. The night and us have something in common— something only the two us get.”
He lets her words sink into him, now looking over her shoulder with wonder in his eyes. He touches her ink stained fingers, pulling it close to his chaste lips.
“I do feel it.” He nods wholeheartedly, letting his eyes flutter with the beating of his heart echo in each other’s mind. She do hope he feels hers, too.
This is what she meant. It’s the silence and wishes that surrounds them. It’s the serene feeling, the stillness between them, that’s meant to be under the stars and the moonlight casting over their skins.
She finds comfort in the stars as it reminds her of his bright lit eyes. As he feels safe under the moonlight every night; it’s her softness that draws him the same with the moon in the sky.
The moon and the stars will not bat an eye as they just continue to look after you.
It is the night that hears the most silent and powerful prayers from the heart.
And I do hope at some nights, no matter how far we are, he would be awake as I am not visited by sleep— he would think how somewhere out there, there’s someone wishing to be a moon to another like him. There’s also someone wishing to be closer with the stars.
— ironically, I wrote this at dawn.
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 10:10 AM UTC
The sound of the pouring rain from the roof woke me up.
I got myself a chair in the patio of our house. I sat there comfortably, sitting in silence for a good whole minute.
I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the pouring rain immerse into me. Imagining myself getting soaked, as if I really am in the middle of the pouring rain, drenched, and laughing carefree in the distance.
"Being outside is nice huh?" I heard a pleasant voice behind me. I let my eyes stay closed for a moment, letting the cold wind meet my face to wake me up. I also welcomed his words, nodding at him with acknowledgement. I was then met with a chocolatey steam; he prepared us two cups of hot cocoa.
"Figured you're a bit cold." His voice sounded raspy, sleepiness still evident in his tone. I turn to him as he got himself another chair close to mine. He looks up a bit, seeping the rain onto his porcelain-like skin. He doesn't go out that much to get some sunshine as to why.
I hummed absentmindedly, warming up to his presence. There was a small smile across his lips, his eyes warmer than the hot drinks he have at hand.
I mirrored his smile, getting my cup from him.
"I kinda like the cold feeling but I wouldn't want to waste your effort." A chuckle escaped my lips, and his crescent-like smile appeared before me.
He drank from his cup as I sipped on mine, letting the vibe from around me flood my senses.
I love these little instances he would think of me. Slipping a thought into his tasks, gestures that show that he does take effort in remembering things I love. Like how I prefer hot chocolate over tea in rainy days, and how I love seeing his smile on early mornings. Even as he loathes waking up and moving off the bed so early. Oh how I love this man before me.
And we sat there in silence, side by side, letting the sky pour out its rain. Our cups at hand, the aroma of the cocoa steam over our senses, full to little to none, with the cold wind howling a bit in the distance.
This went on for an hour or so; I still couldn’t wrap around the idea of how much I love these instances. I had always found comfort in him between our silences and exchanges of glances. Just in him in general; he’s my blanket, my safety— the personification of home. My umbrella; my shade to my blazing sunny days and cover to cold rainy days. I looked over his broad figure from the back, I sigh in contentment.
And as if he heard the drizzle in my heart, he gave me a faint smile; a radiance just enough to soften the hues all around us. But just enough that he stands out amongst the drizzling rain over the sunlight peeking through the clouds.
I could see the raindrops wash over the dewiness of his skin, and it looks like it's starting to show signs of stopping. But I just want to stay, stay out here a bit longer.
Jun 8, 2018
Jun 8, 2018 at 11:22 PM UTC
I might not be the one
who will tuck you to sleep
But darling I assure you
I will be there for you
the morning you wake up
Warming up your sheets,
only if you would let me
I might not be the one
To intertwine fingers
with your calloused hands
But my dearest, I'll be gentle
I can keep you warm
Holding close onto you
Even if it's us against the world
I will be the one here to stay
I might not be the one
Who will be chosen by you
But my love, I will choose you
And only you still
Over a thousand lifetimes
In the end till forevermore
Even so, my only dear
I'd choose you
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 11:11 AM UTC
I only pray for you, and only you.
Is that too much to ask?
I miss you so much that it actually physically pains me to know how far apart we really are.
My love, how long must I wait? – I long for your touch, I want to see your face. I just want to pull you close. Let me hear your heart beat and let me calm myself with your voice.
I want you to nuzzle softly in my neck, and gently press your lips on my cheek — can you feel them burning from your touch?
Let our lips dance, and let our hands roam – North, south, let us move to the rotation of the coast.
Will the universe align itself for our meeting?
Please let us be tied with destiny, let fate be at our stead.
May 10, 2018
May 10, 2018 at 12:17 PM UTC
Maybe the fact that this place is so familiar, it gives me nostalgia.
The consciousness that you were once present in this place hurts; it brings me an ache in my chest — like a hole ******* through me — a piece that's been missing.
Because here, it just reminds me of you.
I am looking for a sign of your touch between these spaces. Tracing every edges. Through the hard wood, the dim lit wall lights, through the white sheets of the soft bed.
I am longing for your scent that I haven't even grown to know.
I am looking for you even if it has been a long while since you've been here. Your scent's no longer lingering here...
It's been long gone, you're far from here now...
Why do I even go looking for something that I am not familiar with? Why am I even searching for something I cannot reach?
May 13, 2018
May 13, 2018 at 2:54 AM UTC
So you continued on living within the pages, tucked hidden in the stories I create. There are signs that dimly represent you in the scenarios conveyed, or can be oh so overt on the characters I portray.
I still can't help but slip you on the pages, love.
It can sometimes be involuntary, but it's not that I take dislike on it. Even if I say I want it to stay hidden, this love still show through. So I try to include you in my narratives, and tell the world around me how much you mean to me, one way or another.
Nothing can compare... to what I feel for you.
Jun 11, 2018
Jun 11, 2018 at 11:17 AM UTC
sadyang ka'y layo mo na para abutin
pero nandito pa rin ako
nananatiling manalangin
Bathala, hanggang dito na lang ba
ang aming istoryang
di pa nagsisimula
maari mo bang pakinggan
ang tanging dalangin?
sana'y pagbigyan mo lamang
masilayan ang kanyang mga ngiti,
kahit di na ang pagdampi ng labi,
ako'y di na muli mananalig
eng trans:
you're just too far
from the grasp now
but I am still here
still here wishing— praying
Creator, is this really how it is
for the two of us; our story
that haven't even began
can you please hear
my only wish?
may you let me just this time
get a glimpse of his smile
even not for the press
of the lips anymore—
I won't ever wish no more
May 6, 2018
May 6, 2018 at 12:19 PM UTC
let us dream
an unattainable kiss
for then maybe I could
get the touch of your bliss
I want you to look only at me
let us meet in my dreams
as to where you’re wide awake
or when it is I
who is not visited by sleep
why is it then we cannot meet?
let me be ****** in so deep—
soundly while the moon’s at peak
by the thirteenth month of the year
I will pray to the moon of my wish
this will be the only time
where both you and I exist
let us open the gates of our hearts
behind the shadows in the night
with only the light of the room illuminates
our figures dancing behind the moonlight
is it only there we could meet?
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 1:41 PM UTC