#heartattack
The body is a safe space.
Until it isn't.
I'm still trying to pick up the pieces.
Weak and tired.
Taking it one day at a time.
One step into the beyond.
Vulnerability takes its toll.
The physical and the psychological.
Entwined in a fight for normality.
I seek that safe space.
But the pieces are shattered.
And a fog enslaves my mind.
The body is a safe space.
Until it isn't.
Apr 2
Apr 2, 2026 at 6:23 AM UTC
I had never met my grandfather
Because he died of a heart attack
And my father got heart medication from the drive-through pharmacy
While I watched calmly from the back
And at the doctor some years ago
They told me there was some foods I'd have to cut back
They both were perfectionists
So with my self-made stress, how can I bounce back?
I'll go my whole life achieving my dreams
Without once looking back
So don't compare me to them, no matter how similar we look
Don't curse me with a heart attack.
Sep 29, 2024
Sep 29, 2024 at 12:21 PM UTC
coronavirus
coronary episode—
coroner report
© 2020 Mark Toney. All rights reserved.
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 11:12 PM UTC
Have them fall in love break their heart
Tell them lies
Say negative things to them 247\
Make them feel unwanted
Say i love u but don't mean it
Ignore them
Cheat on them and say sorry
Mar 24, 2019
Mar 24, 2019 at 6:13 PM UTC
I started with my dress,
The white one with the black flowery design.
I added my black scarf, draping it
Casually around my head,
Trying to stop my thoughts from drifting
To what I was dressing up for.
I slipped on my sandals and then
Slipped out the door,
Not slamming it because that felt like
An ending.
I didn’t want another ending.
Walking into the church,
The temperature went up 50 degrees,
And my anxiety went up 100.
I shook hands with the extended family,
Hugged your widow,
And comforted your grandchildren.
I made it through the opening liturgy,
Your favorite hymn, and the obituary.
I even stopped my tears from falling
During your granddaughter’s touching eulogy,
When she started sobbing up there on the altar.
Afterwards, I sat through the meal,
Everything tasting like cardboard in
My mouth as the temperature kept increasing.
Near the end of the night,
When the church was clearing out,
I went back to the food,
Craving a final bite of cheesy potato casserole
Before I could finally leave this night behind.
Yet when I get there,
The tray is cleaned out,
And there is no more cheesy potato casserole.
That’s when I finally break down and sob.
I didn’t get that last bite of
Cheesy potato casserole.
Jul 16, 2018
Jul 16, 2018 at 3:11 PM UTC
#My heart syncs with the ticking clock
You stepped through, our eyes locked
Eyebrows raised, a signal gave and
all time stopped.
Help!
Call an ambulance!
Thank you for saving my life
For if you haven't called
9-1-1
I would of died.
For I eat too much
processed food!#
Jun 21, 2018
Jun 21, 2018 at 10:53 PM UTC
the walls they close in,
my breath seems to quicken,
my thoughts began to whirl,
i can't breath- i can't seem to grasp it,
did i forget?
i'm not forgetful,
am i?
ah, i can't think straight,
things began to slow down,
i can hear them yelling,
but i can't,
its drain out from my own breath,
the sirens blare loudly in my ears but they seem so distant,
my eyes began to close as i drift,
my breath steadies,
it slows,
then stops.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 1:14 AM UTC
is how long
it took the
paramedics
the whole while
we breathed into
you
pumping your still
chest, counting
beats
we brought you
back for a
moment
our eyes met
you gave us
permission
to let you
go but we’re
stubborn
and never stopped
breathing, compressions
counting
pupils dilated, stained
bed and us
failures
[Note: This poem was originally published by _Cadence Collective_: https://cadencecollective.net/2014/11/01/fourteen-minutes/-]
Mar 1, 2018
Mar 1, 2018 at 4:25 AM UTC
What is this dread I feel?
That keeps me awake at night.
That haunts my dreams?
Who else am I to lose?
In this world of Greed.
These nightmares need to halt their attack.
Before no sleep comes forever..
I can't take this pain anymore.
This heart may surrender..
The one I love may be lost,
By many ways..
I refuse to lose him today.
Feb 18, 2016
Feb 18, 2016 at 8:17 PM UTC
He
nearly died today
because his 30 second-old love
couldn't stay,
The ruby red
bird winged
Merman of His Dream.
His heart attacked
his very own watered lungs,
The tears
which stopped his heart
like a sneeze.
He prayed, "Please."
The hospital bed Lord didn't reply, and
He felt the plump nurses were
telling him
lies.
Jun 5, 2014
Jun 5, 2014 at 3:54 PM UTC