#hasbeen
Yes! I get it, I broke my promise,
But it's not like I wanted to.
Yes! I get it, I gave up on us,
But you also gave up on me.
Yes! I get it, I turned away,
And I've tried to be better, but you've changed.
I've own up to my lies,
I've been proving myself ever since.
I've given up on us, but not on you,
I've tried showing you that I'm getting better.
I gave up my self respect to earn yours,
All I need was you to see me.
Like you always did,
But you didn't and you broke all your promises.
You left me with my scars exposed,
Bleeding out red.
Now whose the betrayer now?
Ash
May 26, 2020
May 26, 2020 at 5:03 PM UTC
Most of my life is a forgotten cliffside. There's nothing you can really do about it, it's just the consequence you pay for being alive.
I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I can remember my schools, my friends, my parents, my teachers. But I don't remember my sisters. Only my brother, the little boy carrying the family name on his shoulder blades... But he is not ready for that.
As for my sisters... I do not officially "know them" until they begin to leave. I was 11 when they started leaving my house, and 13 when they started re-entering my life.
There is no excuse for arriving late to my life crisis. But what crisis is there anyway?
I grew up alone.
Sisters too old, brother too young, parents too protective.
And me...
Too eager to run through the halls of my early life, and high school is not what I expected the years to be. But I am still here... alive.
And there will always be that to hold on to when the sky falls from the stars that pin up the rest of the universe.
Or the the clouds fall from the blue sky just before that cliffside collapses into the abyss.
This is the artistry that is my life on a power surge. Feeling the shock of the first kiss, and the break of the last word.
The many voices, and single sayings. The before and after. The push and then the fall.
The feeling of all my memories being shot.
But not killed.
This is the joy of living off of the electric tower... or the Eiffel tower.
This is life made wild, love made public, friends made family, me made whole again.
Me surviving the cliffside fall for the 378th time this week.
Safety nets were never written in the fine print of this circus act.
But this feeling can **** as much as it can save. It is, and always will be a cosmic shot across the front of my skull...
Opening my mind into eternity. Until I decide to go back to that cliffside...
Again.
Mar 20, 2017
Mar 20, 2017 at 3:21 AM UTC
the world is full
of wannabes
and has-beens..
no one lives
in the present
anymore.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZDsCJ4rGD4]
Sep 21, 2016
Sep 21, 2016 at 4:44 AM UTC