#griefing
Motionless
Still
Still like the air that surrounded us
Motionless beauty
And here we sit
Still
Watching, and calculating
Who would speak first?
Disrupting the peace of this natural situation
Are you cold? Would you like a drink?
But I sit here
Still
Soft white petals on the moonlit surface
“Aren't they beautiful?”
You asked
But the light behind your eyes was anything but
We talked for hours upon hours as lillies danced
And then we sat again
Still
Still as my breath when I asked you out numerous times
Still as my heart when I asked you to be mine
Still as the frozen lilly pond we put outside our house in winter
We warmed ourselves inside being anything but
As I praised your body
Still as the air that surrounds us in the doctor
Nine months later
Still as the child spirited away from you
Lilly
Still as our quiet cold house
Motionless mourning
Spring came and the lilies bloomed
And I found you floating in your favorite pond surrounded in white soft petals
Still
I stared
And sat there
Still.
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 2:04 AM UTC
To my angel baby, your mumma misses you so much, your brother would have been so excited to meet you. So would have I.
The pain I have can never leave.
The day I found out about you I cried with over joy the excitement I had lasted a short time, my sweet baby I’m so sorry my body failed you.
I think I will ask god for the rest of my life
It’s been 3 months since I’ve lost my baby a miscarriage that silenced my voice. Something I don’t think I will ever understand. Something that has broken me in ways I didn’t know existed.
I have my days where I’m doing ok and I’m happy and days where all I want to do is cry and scream.
No screams comes out I’m just quietly crying but inside I’m a mess my mind is screaming but nothing comes out why oh why did this happen to me. I wanted that baby I would have loved that baby so so much instead I’m here grieving for the rest of my life.
I was having a good day and started crying out of nowhere, you may ask why because the 13th of every month haunts me like an unwanted plastic bag that keeps floating around and never goes away. The 13th of July is when I had my miscarriage while my world was falling apart I had to get up the next day and act like I was fine like I was ok because I still had to be a mother to my child.
But when the worlds still and everything is quiet, I feel lost
I’m wanting to search for you and I keep searching and asking myself why I wasn’t able to carry you just a precious life starting to grow inside me and suddenly you were ripped away. I lost my baby and my baby lost their life. That’s something I’ll never be able to forgive myself for.
Sep 14, 2025
Sep 14, 2025 at 11:01 PM UTC