#genderenvy
that's just the way the body goes i guess
wanna mould my hands around his shoulders
through t-shirt and pyjama pants
wonder what the mirror shows him
that perfect mouth is smiling
do i wanna be him or ingest him
i wish that i could memorise it
wanna put my mouth around the reflection
kiss him everywhere until he sees red
hold his perfect imperfect face and
taste myself on his breath
take his arms or be held in them
i wanna feel and i wanna know
i guess that's just the way the body goes
Sep 19, 2024
Sep 19, 2024 at 3:16 AM UTC
I've always believed boys were best I started counting first kisses collecting them I’d have enough tickets to buy a brand new stuffed giraffe at the arcade I curled my face loosely over the toilet bowl sobs of empathy and hurt attached themselves to scrambled eggs I find it,,, I find it amusing that body keeps the score
I remember the scent of my brother’s football jersey how my mother washed it every night I’m treated like a man its this mad little crisis I asked boy to borrow his jeans he was mortified why would he ever want to look like me we never spoke about the jeans again maybe we would have if I had to tie a little shoelace around the waistband
I don't wish to be held and whispered to I look inside him speaking to the butler I’ve never had that this thing he spoke about without difficulty was a matter so unfamiliar I tumble in dreams trying to succeed in touch
please touch me touch me,,, if you want … no one wakes up thinking of me it may remain that way for a considerable time I am not looking for a kiss I’m looking to have what the others have a hand held on the subway Could that feel normal to me… ever… ever touch me I’ll cry maybe melt maybe crawl out that I am no one to someone I thought I was this special creation your special creation is there possible room for my belief no ones washing my football jersey.
Sep 5, 2024
Sep 5, 2024 at 2:17 AM UTC