#further
Next year I'll be 17,
and next I'll be graduated,
and we'll all go on different paths.
Onto the next chapter,
but I'll always have your page bookmarked,
with a kiss.
May 18
May 18, 2026 at 11:12 AM UTC
It's like the only time I can see out of this hole
Is when I'm trying to make sure others don't see
That I'm digging it deeper
And
Deeper
And
Deeper
And falling
Further
And
Further
And
Further
Until I can't get out of this deadly hole
Aug 30, 2024
Aug 30, 2024 at 10:00 PM UTC
Dancing to the rhythm of the universe,
A beautiful, organic chaos.
Grateful for the lessons,
I drift in a pool of elysium.
A wounded healer in progress,
Prancing on a satin thread,
Woven with multidimensional facets.
Allow me to amend the social poison
Flowing within this boundless vessel.
May 17, 2023
May 17, 2023 at 2:46 AM UTC
There will certainly be
A great many of them
Far readier than I’ll ever be
O blessed unborn one
Yet endowed with inexistence
To whom mercy shall slip from
And re-emerge in its awakening
Beings past or below my shrinking age
A great many among them
Whom I once did or shan’t collide
Beyond the captured scope of mutual days
To relate to you what high events
Unrolled before our common eyes
Folks granted with the privilege
Promoted to the status of witnesses
Historians, athletes and prophets
By themselves and their narratives
I let them unroll their good accounts
Forfeit their tales of what must be bound
To mould your unsuspecting
Circumspect mind and
Save you from sensing
Delicately sensing
Voices that once knew more
Than in haste speak
Than with haste carry
Daringly could the silence hear
Untangle the mumbling tango
Of the vociferous crystal parade
My darling unborn one
The tortuous path out of the forgings
Of reason almighty, the ventricular beast
Played and echoed in loops and on repeat
No, you shan’t feast on their hymns
Yours is meant for the engineering of belief
In something further, of glory,
Far more, furthermore,
Something extraordinary
Than the days of days
And the knowns of knowns
And to lodge firmly out of the stillness
That’s woven in the heart of your chanting storm
And in the precipice of the forecast
May you never come to designate
But the space between the notes
So that when it comes not to ever pass
We shall rejoice in the untold absence
That binds us as if pierced by an arrow
While we ask about the bow
Jun 24, 2023
Jun 24, 2023 at 6:26 PM UTC
his teeth were rotted out
but he left no time
for regret
for there is no regress
from the state he finds himself in
how it had come to this
boy, he didn't know
fervent drug use
frequenting their misuse
forget it
for tomorrow, is another day for worry
humbled by his lack of knowledge
beset, on knowing's acquisition
further than the last day
faster too
father lost himself to his ambition
Apr 9, 2021
Apr 9, 2021 at 3:40 PM UTC
You pulled me in tighter
and calmly whispered to me
how scared you were
of going any further
because you didn't want to
fall victim to seduction
and lose control because
you love control.
Oct 28, 2020
Oct 28, 2020 at 3:21 PM UTC
We are neither boundaries or fields,
for both even though seem to be free,
keep us confided,
even though we don't realise it.
We may be able to walk afar,
but if we are stalled by others,
we are still prisoners
of a further field of consciousness.
Feb 15, 2020
Feb 15, 2020 at 2:38 PM UTC
On the tracks of our lives,
the autumn of life
may fall on the trail we may travel.
But one may falter on this journey
and the remnant path,
but if we brush aside the failing
that fell before us
we can travel further than we ever realised.
Nov 2, 2019
Nov 2, 2019 at 6:50 PM UTC
I opened my fist
To engulf the moon
In a fit of love
That I'd go far further
Then the Milky Way
To be in your arms
Apr 12, 2019
Apr 12, 2019 at 9:28 AM UTC
out
of the dark
further, further
pushing on still
through the street
in a patch
just to see you
and meet
the glorious sun
soak in the warmth
as the first light of day
drifts over us and I start to think
maybe this is home, here with you
in those shining pale rays, just us
and the problems of the world
seem so distant when we
can just sit here, looking
up at the sky, alone,
together, enjoying
ourselves and so
utterly at peace
and that is a life
that I think I
could get used to
Mar 1, 2019
Mar 1, 2019 at 6:23 PM UTC
You are drifting further and further away from me
And I don't know if I'll stay or leave you be
I feel like I'm no longer of use to you
You've reached your dreams
but I still have to reach mine too.
Pray tell, between us two,
what am I to you?
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018 at 3:51 AM UTC
These words that flow
Around my mind,
I try to appreciate,
I try to confide
These words with
My dear ones,
But often they are toxic
And burn
At the corner of my eyes.
These words that flow
Into my ears
Slowly fade into
My love and fears
Melding with the foundations that prop me up
These foundations constantly amalgamating
With the words of the surrounding world.
These words that flow
Into my eyes
Slowly pull me... aside
Deeper into
The darkness of my fears
Slowly into
A cold
Cold abyss.
And where your light shines
I'd hope to smile
But my smile is hidden
In the words
Left unspoken
Floating around my mind
Flowing in the cold of my eyes.
Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 10:23 AM UTC
he’s so much more than meets the eye
he’s the scars on his body and how he will tell you the story of where they came from a million times
he’s his clammy hands and the way he will hold yours against his chest and grin when you keep it there
he’s the way he brushes your hair behind your shoulder as you speak
he’s his contagious laugh and how his eyes squint at the corners or the dimples in his cheeks
he’s his tight hugs and on his really good days the way he picks you up in his grasp
he’s his adventurous nature and the way his company makes you feel alive and at home all at once
but he’s also the way he shuts you out when he hurts you because he can’t face the fact that he did
he’s he fits of jealousy and how ridiculously he can act
he’s his urge to numb himself and his hate for life because he thinks it’s so pointless
he’s his bad days where you sit on the phone reminding him that he’s worth more than he puts himself through
he’s his snap decisions where he doesn’t think of the consequences of anything he does
he’s all of this and more
he’s intelligent
kind
handsome
reckless
amusing
good hearted
passionate
he’s perfect in his own way and i was in love with him
my god, i was so in love with him
still am really
but i can’t be anymore
two years later and i have to let him go
because i still have the small hope that i might get him back
that it wasn’t all for nothing
we feel unfinished, but maybe that’s just how some things end
i know i would go back to him at the drop of a dime because he was my everything and i miss him so much my chest aches
but i suppose some people just weren’t meant to be
i never fell out of love, i just accepted he wasn’t in it anymore and let it go
so this is the last time i will write about him even though as i finish this there’s so much more i could say
we might have been a mess
complete chaos really
but he made me feel safe and loved and important
i would never be able to thank him for all he’s done for me and how he’s helped me grow
even with the **** he put me through i always forgave and defended him, or tried to, because that was my boy and i loved him
he’s the best first love i could have asked for
he’s one of my best friends
he’s one of the best people i know
and he’s going to do amazing things in life and grow to be an amazing man
Jun 10, 2018
Jun 10, 2018 at 5:45 PM UTC
We were huddled up, resting in a vacant lot.
Her eyes singing to me a serenade of sorrowed
embroilment. She was a moment away from
being a glancing thought in my mind.
We collaborated on our misfortune, designing
what we could to rebuild. But the lot was vacant,
and everything we tried either subsided or just
collapsed in tattered folly of what was tried.
We, us, each other.. just weren't like that which
was built upon the understanding of the other.
*** holes had collapsed leaving vacant spaces
that we once filled together...
We tried to mend bridges but words washed
them away... we tried to hold each other,
but we were like magnets. Close but further than
we thought, she walked away, I just stood there.
Sep 9, 2017
Sep 9, 2017 at 7:15 PM UTC
How are you?
are you looking for me how I look for you?
In between and around every person?
Waiting for me to pop out and I love you?
How many others have you loved?
Am I the first?
Am I the last?
Am I second?
I think you will be loving,
And smart and well as kind.
Where are you right now?
Are you with someone else, are you in love?
Are you with me?
Are you at the end of a bridge? Looking down the edge for hope?
Do you have brown hair, maybe blonde? I wonder what kind of quirks you have like walking only on the outside part of the side walk or holding my hand when you are nervous?
Did I know you? Were we friends or strangers just wondering past meeting just at the right time?
Are we still in love?
Were we every in love?
Or are you a dream?
Like me.
Aug 29, 2017
Aug 29, 2017 at 6:10 AM UTC
Come on the highway
to the Moon let's go.
Take a turn to the stars
Without further ado!
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 4:42 PM UTC
Find what you can't express
and pin it down in words
Find what you can't see
and fabricate it in fantasies
Find what you can't feel
and embody it in adventures
Find what you can't speak
and let your eyes vocalize
Find what you "can't"
and challenge yourself
Find what you "never"
and take it a step further
Mar 29, 2017
Mar 29, 2017 at 11:13 AM UTC
Smokes and cigarette cartons all about the place.
Empty milk bottles and their stench brings back the taste.
My hell in the sky, bring my body back home to come and play.
Mommy, are you busy dying, I'm a little hungry today.
Sadistic little me, fancy sitting on a chair.
Crazy big you with the damp and messy hair.
Will you give me your attention, I can't make out your expression,
Over there?
I love you, please light up so I can sit and
Stare.
Kick down the door, it's gotten much harder to keep our spirits up.
I can tell that after this evening your a little down on feeding us.
You can't stand to see yourself and I treated here this way.
Could you tell me where you hid my toys, I'm a little bored today.
But it's hot outside.
and your skins turned pale.
He's off at work after beating you this morning and freshly out of jail.
Bruises clout your eyes as I remember everything.
We've been in this house since I can't remember when.
And I remember. I remember it all.
I remember when the bloodstains pooled and stained our kitchen floor.
I remember when your screams crept in and ran about the room.
I remember peeking through the doorway to see what had happened to you.
I remember.
I remember where we stand.
And I remember to this day, taking you there, hand in hand.
My other hand on my bottle, yours covering your face.
I remember those little words that i had spoke to you that day.
"Mom, the toast is done."
And like that, it all fell into a dream.
Life began to course that way into a ****** seem.
He walked out and you fell to the ground without much to say.
They came to the house and took me far and far away.
Life had then forgotten you and broke into your house.
He shot you without prerogative and let you bleed out.
Oh mother, answer me how can anyone get through this pain.
You lived another day just to take leave anyway.
You broke down.
In tears when you saw me again.
I put to you that I would always love you to the end.
It was 8 years later from when the toast had finished cooking that day.
You took to the bed at dinner, and your bible to go and pray.
And I felt your embrace smother me with warmth through out.
You were skint with your money and very prone when angry to shout.
Only fair to say I could see you crumble a little more each day.
Till the funny farm took you in and drugged your ****** mind astray.
Now I pray, only to myself.
That I won't leave your love at the doorstep and take it without doubt.
You may be more damaged heartland that failed to believe.
I find it difficult to find inside a heart for me.
And we broke out.
We broke into a fight.
Every word I punctured further into you as the moon into the night.
I should have kept going I should have broke your spirit down.
I never should have pity for that heart you swing about.
Now I have a brother who was in the position I was in.
Now your bruised and he's telling you to be sure make for him.
"Mom, the toast is done."
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016 at 8:03 PM UTC
Here I think to myself
What has happened in this short amount of time apart?
Your clement smile lights up the room in my head
Drifting and floating away from one another,
What is there to chase?
Loyalty of the heart is slowly tucked away
False favorable mechanics of what it once was
Chances are truly fatal.
We all seem to disintegrate.
Hesitating laughs, and depressing fatigue comes over
What can I possibly accomplish if--
I can't comprehend all of this?!
All we appear to do is distrust one another.
I only feel our friendship sink even further away...
Sep 28, 2016
Sep 28, 2016 at 11:51 PM UTC
Falling.
Falling.
Fallen.
Rejected by his own mind,
Cast down to a lower plane,
All ties severed with hope,
All memories wiped of love,
All knowledge removed of freedom,
All hints unsaid of safety,
He falls, further, faster,
Wings broken,
Lungs crushed,
Heart stopped,
Eyes closed,
But just caught,
As he bursts through empty skies into her arms.
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 8:07 PM UTC
My heart breaks with every step.
Because the further I walk,
the smaller you get.
Sep 5, 2014
Sep 5, 2014 at 10:04 PM UTC