#freehand
I Can't accept the truth baby, ignorance is bliss. I can't escape the memories of all that this is. Rather let them fade away to champagne thrills, falling off the edge of abyss.
Rather let them fall like I fell for you. Like the ashes, burning off of this cigarette.
Cause I knew it from the start.
Every second, every time. I knew you'd break my heart every time we spoke a rhyme.
I knew it'd fall apart.
Couldn't say that you were mine.
But that's just want I want to say because I know it's time.
So ask me how I feel.
I can't tell what's real.
Insist that we would fall apart until you sealed the deal.
I wish you said loved me like you said you used to feel.
and I wish youd call me baby
cause you know I'd hope it's real.
But how can I love you if I never loved myself? Like everyday I wake up wishing I was someone else.
Cause everyone I know has seen a better side of hell.
And you know I fall apart, in the darkness by myself.
Sep 27, 2021
Sep 27, 2021 at 5:55 PM UTC
I’m the kind of person
that when she’s feeling sad
and when she’s crying
she starts to think about the people she’d want to talk to at the moment
but no one comes to mind
because everyone close to her
can’t handle how emotional she is,
can’t handle seeing her cry,
can’t handle seeing her so upset.
So she starts thinking of other people
that she’s been talking to
but she doesn’t feel comfortable enough
or close enough
to open up to them
so she just lies in bed
feeling sorry for herself
and cries herself to sleep.
Dec 22, 2020
Dec 22, 2020 at 4:27 PM UTC
Funny how pretty everything looks,
Soaked in over saturated colours.
I’ve been stuck in this room for months, I’ve been stuck in this skull for too long to care.
Four walls, whether paint plastered and polished.
Four walls meet my eyes.
I wish I could sew my eyes shut, only see what I imagine.
I can hear the cars becoming less constant outside, even the cats are sleeping now.
These lights are too bright for me.
I wish I could turn myself off.
Sep 11, 2020
Sep 11, 2020 at 1:23 PM UTC
I had a light in me
It shone so bright that people could see what was inside
I talked about things that I loved religiously
And I clearly knew what I wanted to do
I did not give two *****
About what anyone thought of my work
Until I found myself wanting recognition
I asked people to tell me what was good and what was bad
I saw no wrong in that
Neither did they
Until I realized that I craved for compliments
I craved the praise
It was not for bad intentions
I wanted to get better
I wanted to be heard
I wanted the world to know me
But slowly, I became obsessed
I started relying on people
I relied on them to tell me my work is good
While I no longer believed in myself
The more they told me it was not good enough;
That I was not good enough
My light started to dim
And discouragement was staring me right in the face
I spent so long minding what everyone else thought of me
That I forgot the reason I was doing what I was doing
I listened to what everybody wanted me to do
I pushed aside the things that I wanted to do for myself
Mar 17, 2017
Mar 17, 2017 at 11:23 AM UTC
O' sweet love, I am waiting for thee,
Build me up a castle,
But perish not, into the sea.
Thy love is a burning flame
Amid the night of wonderous emotion.
I cannot live my wholesome life,
Without the presence of your heart!
And shall I awake,
To find you have loved another?
Then may my death bring thee great sorrow!
For you have grown me to love emptiness,
To loathe those who spent eternities,
Beating our love against mountains.
O' sweet love, I am waiting for thee.
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 12:45 PM UTC
His mind: a wondrous place
His heart: sowed love
His smile: brought light
His eyes,
His eyes bore into mine.
The crystals,
The sorrow,
The sunshine,
It was all mine.
He was all mine
And I?
Well I,
I was his.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 11:26 AM UTC