#flatulence
There once was a fella who farted
A **** that was only half-hearted:
His friend tried to best him
And really impressed him
By ******** a brick when he sharted.
Mar 14
Mar 14, 2026 at 7:23 AM UTC
let rot my mental status
to fruit the flies
billow the belly through the button
throat the needle thru the eye
sleeve the lamb back into the mutton
and make a glutton
of our air supply
guff it all out
flatus
Mar 10, 2022
Mar 10, 2022 at 6:52 PM UTC
Flatulence breeds laughter
Come smile with me, as I sing you a song;
About God's little gift, to every man.
For we all like to laugh and forget all our worries
And we all like to laugh, whenever we can.
At a worldwide problem which just can't be solved;
Of epidemic proportions, it affects us all.
It's the funniest thing known, but embarrassing too;
But the louder the funnier, as long as it's not you.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!
Who dropped that off? Who left us a present?
Who smells that bad? Come on! Who the Hell is it?
God **** that's bad, something smells like it's died.
You filled my lungs with a sickness, you brought a tear to my eye;
You made me wish I was a dog and I had no nose,
Then when you'd tell them of my story,
They'd say how does he smell?
(shout) AWFUL!
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number written straight from the heart.
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
It's a stinky little number and it came from my ****
It's flatulence! It's one big ****
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la,
La, lahh!
Well it's time to end this song,
With no more bad **** jokes in sight.
It's time to wander on,
With just a trumpety, trump; goodnight.
(C)2005 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 5:50 AM UTC
i barely get ma palm pilot sized
dear derriere i.e. gluteus maximus in the air
just a cat whisker across the DeMilitarized Zone
(DMZ in military parlance),
when the Earth shuddered from blare
ring fusillade expressed detonation
issued by Kim Jung Un,
whose craven dark excitement clear
motive predicated
to lob Holiday nuclear missiles,
and South Koreans (no matter
mostly innocent victims), whelp hay dear
for siding, identifying, fraternizing, colluding,
et cetera with the enemy (in general,
the NATO bound countries) 'ere
really quiet, as preparation (H) gets made
to bring out the big guns
(actually shaped like a fleshy
posterior man bun) in truth one
dead reckoning sphincter muscle
that doth flair
impossible to espy, cuz sieve
all the flak whistling induce sing a glare,
but...the Hermit Kingdom got another
bad a$$ bombardier deathly, stealthily quiet,
hence released **** Jed
eye ordnance impossible to hear
yet this silent deadly *** sass sin hated
hard as a ribbed rock stainless steel
guaranteed to wreak havoc, with loathing
and other emotions hints sin sere
which top secret (never bottomed out
during test practice trials,
whereat Johnny spot on)
proved to vaporize underwear
and caused a "big stink"
that lasted about one year.
what information divulged
ye moost promise never to share
else...any turn coats
can not muster posterior haste,
yet will need to seek out specialty
of proctologist who doth rear
lee **** seed unfortunate victim
blind sided immune to any prayer
so...upon confiding this tidbit,
I strongly advise tubby not near
as you might already correctly guess,
when while mooning Pyongyang
well taut smart cheeks,
with blasting buttocks akin to
young Frankenstein blazing saddles
as sole oozing gaseous
flatulence majority
of North Koreans will not here
amidst din and clangor "bad medicine"
propelled ****** bowel
movement game changer
will hit designated target precisely clear
t'will invite "freedom fighters"
tubby regaling with a jubilant aire
total mortal Kombat levels threat of "Fat Boy",
whose po' country mutilated,
reduced, wasted to ashes after
every nuclear and
traditional military contrivance,
an IC a BM (mine) did destroy.
Jan 21, 2018
Jan 21, 2018 at 12:48 AM UTC
*Bad memories linger
In sour clouds of self pity*
Like farts of the mind
Nov 30, 2017
Nov 30, 2017 at 2:31 PM UTC