#fitting
I hate time.
I hate being conscious about the existence of time.
I hate how every second slips away and cannot be redone.
I hate when I'm a bad person and only cry when they're gone.
I hate how, deep down, time doesn't change anything.
No matter how long it takes, I can still be on the same place.
How I'm always close, but never closer
To anyone who's already decided their fate.
I hate growing up and having to adjust.
I hate slowing down and eating their dust.
For as long as my stories have been alive,
I only care to fantasy, where there is no time.
Apr 4
Apr 4, 2026 at 7:50 PM UTC
I dress up
With nowhere to go
I look up high
To get hit down below
My life is constant
With nothingness
I'm a sparkle
In a void
Of boringness
I lay in bed and dream
As years pass me
I'm nearly thirty
And still
Never laughing
I love feathers
And sequins
Dancing in the evening
Glamor and stars
Colors and mars
Yet I'm stuck
Here
Where i want
To dissapear
I'm not wanted
I don't fit in
I don't want to fit in
Here
I want to dissapear
To a land
With love
And hues
Shining
No curfews
Eccentricity
And electric
That shocks
Every single
Bore
Away
So the shining flamingos
Can have a place to stay
Yet here i am
In my constant cave
Bored
And alone
Turning
Into stone
All i can do
Is cry
In my orange dress
Cry
in my pink wig
Cry til
Midnight
*** after that
I die
In the colorless-ness
Of my life
Oct 5, 2025
Oct 5, 2025 at 6:47 PM UTC
Carrying wounds that will not heal
A pain I will be forced to always feel
Stitched up, scabbed over
The new flesh is much paler
Sealed but not seamless
A basic healing process
That's what they tell me
Looks like a ground up mess, what does everyone else see?
The sensation is still so prominent
As if I'm back in that bathtub reliving it
The visual as clear as the day
Terrified but can't pull my gaze away
I only opened a small crease
Honed in on the crimson flow of my life embracing it's release
Two fresh exits located to my left and my right
Allowing it to forge a new path to the drain and out of sight
My past, present and future colliding
Pooling faster than it can move through the plumbing
Took forever to register my final decision
Turned out it wasn't final at all, just another negative mark on my person
No relief felt, only overwhelming regret
A permanent reminder
But how could I ever forget
©2024
Jan 9, 2024
Jan 9, 2024 at 7:24 PM UTC
There once was a ponderous piper Peter,
Whose arm burned off in a heater.
It's now hard to fit pipe,
But he doesn't gripe.
He's got one arm, a mouth, and his peter.
May 20, 2021
May 20, 2021 at 12:59 AM UTC
She looked outside
where it was
gray and dreary
cloudy and
about to rain
what a fitting day
for a girl
who was lost
in her own storm
and couldn't find her way
Oct 19, 2020
Oct 19, 2020 at 6:57 PM UTC
i lost 5 pounds, am i skinny enough yet?
i used that lipstick you told me to use, does it look good?
i bought those new clothes everyone wears, do i look cool enough?
i join the cheer team to fit in more, do they like me yet?
i had *** with that popular guy, am i breaching my adolescence
i started smoking *** am i a cool enough stoner yet?
i started wear a full-face of makeup, am i attractive enough yet?
i shrunk my waist 5 inches, am i more desired now?
i started skipping school, am i fitting in with the status quo?
i started sneaking out, am i risky enough?
i got my nose pierced , is it edgy enough?
i dyed my hair to the blonde white you have it. so we can match?
i keyed that girls car who's such a freak, is that more acceptable
i bullied that girl and she killed herself, wasn't she such a freak?
_____________________________________________________________
im in the hospital now i lost too much weight
i ended up failing school for so much
im in debt for all the clothes i bought
the popular guy ended up getting me pregnant
i got arrested for keying her car and threatening her
my hair ended up falling out from all the bleach
my organs are shutting down from all the weight loss
i ended up addicted to drugs
my face now breakouts from all the products i used
i ruined my parents marriage by sneaking out and lying
i joined the cheer team and ended up trying to fit in
im currently dying , do i fit in enough yet?
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 5:09 PM UTC
I spent most my life fitting in
Shapeshifter in my own skin
To squeeze to whatever size
Matched the proportion of everyones lies
Apr 17, 2020
Apr 17, 2020 at 2:58 AM UTC
i'm tired.
i'm tired of things i know i can't control but still try my **** hardest to.
i'm tired of smiling all throughout the day making sure the people i'm talking to don't think of me as a **** joy.
i'm tired of faking a laugh just to please the people who throw jokes at me as if i'm not in the room with them.
i'm tired of walking as fast as i can back to my place so i could finally be in peace.
i'm tired of always finding myself in situations i'd rather not be found as i sit in the corner blurring the noise out by reading stuff on my phone.
i'm tired of fitting in.
Aug 29, 2019
Aug 29, 2019 at 2:11 AM UTC
on a daily basis
my brain reminds me,
"you'll never fit in".
sometimes i believe it.
but once in a while i realize,
i'm not a puzzle piece.
i will never be.
i wasn't born to fit in this giant puzzle.
perhaps we could all just coexist.
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 2:20 PM UTC
Hey bro,
Hey,
I’m having a party later wanna come by,
I really shouldn’t,
C’mon it’ll be fun I’ll pick you up at 8.
What do I wear I ask,
I never get invited to parties,
I get ****** drawn on my yearbook,
And I always get picked last for sports.
Hey mom I’m going to a party,
Oh the normal,
Just a study group get together,
My words light as a feather.
The clock strikes 8,
You pick me up,
Right hand on your steering wheel,
Left hand flicking a cigarette out of your window,
The scent of your cologne,
Smells like home,
But the way you look at me,
Home is where I should’ve stayed.
Do you drink,
Like alcohol?
Yes like alcohol,
No not really,
Aw c’mon man you’re coming to your first party,
I really shouldn’t,
Don’t be a *****
I laugh and shrug,
I knew I should’ve stayed home.
We arrive at your house,
I imagine this is what being famous feels like,
All eyes on you as you step out of the car,
Probably without the empty looks and questions,
Why is he here,
They probably felt bad for him,
Look at him,
Disgusting.
The house was huge,
Owned by a business man,
Rich decor,
Only child,
What a lonely life.
Let me grab you a drink,
No it’s okay I’m really fine,
I bring you to my house and you want to disrespect me?
I guess I’ll have a drink,
That’s my boy,
With a wink and a turn,
You disappear in the crowd.
I sit on your couch in silence,
Bodies swarming by,
Conversations about *** linger in the distance,
I guess everyone knows something about someone,
Even if that person of subject knew nothing about it.
***** this,
***** that,
***** there,
And the best,
I guess **** are allowed here.
You return with the drinks,
Mine fizzy,
Your’s smooth,
Cheers he said,
Clink,
Now drink your drink.
Consciousness came in and out at this point,
My cellphone gone,
I can’t call anyone,
I need my mom.
One moment I’m in the living room,
On the couch,
On the stairs,
In a room,
On a bed.
I can’t speak,
My hands numb,
I’m cold,
My clothes are on the floor.
One pair of hands,
Then two,
Then three,
I lost count after the blindfold,
My screams cut short by loud music and rags.
I wake up,
My head hurts,
Bruises all over my body,
I’m in my bed.
My mother comes in scolding me,
Telling me how he brought me home,
That he told me not to drink so much,
That I fell down the stairs,
This is where the end of my life started,
With a “Hey bro”,
A drink,
A clink,
And a suicide.
Feb 11, 2019
Feb 11, 2019 at 11:25 AM UTC
Do you feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
Here's a tip, from kin-to-kin:
If you don't fit in, don't fit in.
Simply, be.
Aug 29, 2018
Aug 29, 2018 at 9:31 AM UTC
You would think
A fool who always lies
Would finally surmise
He is known to be unwise
In most other people’s eyes.
You would think
A snake in the grass
Would not have an ***
But it comes to pass
That some are all ***
You would think
A pile of dog manure
Would smell himself for sure
And that would insure
To show that he's not pure.
You would think
A **** so full of hate
Would not aspire to be great
And instead would wait
Until humility reached his gate.
You would think
Being socially quite blind
No ability to be quite kind
Would someday soften the rind
Of almost any creep you’d find.
You would think
With so many tramps around
And unfunny political clowns
Someone would knock him down;
Teach him something on the ground.
You would think
Some lesson would be due
To give this reprobate a clue
And help him know what to do,
But that might never come true.
Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 2:39 AM UTC
Tick
Tick
Tick of a metronome
Everyone falls into their allotted place
Somehow in the chaos they all know the pace
of this tune
This humdrum waltz
Step one two step one two step one two step
Into a world of imagination and fun
I've always danced to my own tune
I've pirouetted and leaped, out of sync, out of time
And I've always been praised for not toeing the line but now
Somehow I wish I could force my heavy feet
Into this repetitive nonsensical beat
Of the collective, the herd
That I so desperately need
I'm not a genius, not a poet, not an enlightened teen
I'm an extroverted mess with an eagerness to please
But a stubborn refusal to dance to the beat in the past has made me
A social outcast
It's too late for me
To find my feet
Where they fit in this dance to the death
When life's only half lived
I've always called myself a ****** never realising how well it fit
And if you are proud of your uniqueness, you can't escape it
When you need to
Or want to
Fit in with the crowd
I'm too crazy or too tame
Too quiet or too loud
And only here with people
Who I just can't seem to get
I feel the accurate poignance
Of the title, 'misfit'.
Dec 3, 2017
Dec 3, 2017 at 6:52 PM UTC
i feel like i'm not fitting in anymore
like i have lost my place
to be honest
i'm not sure i had a place to begin with
i look at my friends
and realize i am becoming alone
i'm not sure when everything changed
do you not say hi anymore
because we weren't actually friends
or do you just not care
do you only talk to me to get with her
because it's been this way for too long
and i can't do it anymore
i'm tired of this push and pull
this constant back and forth
not knowing who to trust
or where to turn
i don't feel like i fit in
because i don't know who i fit with
i don't feel like i have a place
because i don't think i'm good enough for any place
i'm trying to be okay with being alone
not being lonely
but alone
but i get confused
and it gets hard to remember which is which
Sep 30, 2017
Sep 30, 2017 at 7:16 PM UTC
the magic
is that i have no home
in this world
besides you
Sep 9, 2017
Sep 9, 2017 at 8:25 PM UTC
I thought
Pipe-fed freedoms
Would stay at bay
Behind minds fretting needlessly
Then I was told to buy a lottery ticket
I supposed
My wasted wants
Would keep in my sleep
Beneath griefs of weakness I'd never possess
Then I discovered I'm one more normal mind
I believed
'My' graceful gods
Were lame in their frame
Below fallow understandings in flaking canvases
Then I was told what to believe
I refused
And was suddenly different
Shown the ropes of a living wage
Pariah,
Burned alive
until I was so different
I was marketable
People came to me
And suddenly I was someone
Suddenly I was understandable
Like never I was as one of dissonance within -
One of picture frames without, the label
'Vive le différence,
Ici ça meurt'.
Jun 16, 2017
Jun 16, 2017 at 7:33 PM UTC
The first time my lips touched a cigarette,
I cringed at the taste but I ****** and puffed the toxins anyways.
smooth.
It was menthol.
I didn't know what that meant.
I didn't care.
I just wanted to be cool with my friends.
They were 14,
I was 12.
'Mature for my age'.
I had fitted in.
But was smoking that cigarette really, really worth it?
I haven't talked to those 'friends' in 6 years.
May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 12:04 PM UTC
Why do people insist on labels?
Everything has to fit
But what if it doesn't?
What if I don't?
The only thing that I can say is that I'm me
Shouldn't that be enough?
Shouldn't that make everything clear?
Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! - Dr. Seuss
I am me
You are you
And that is all
No explanations needed
Mar 3, 2017
Mar 3, 2017 at 7:43 AM UTC
Marry me into the spaces in your life,
Because the mountains shift ever so slightly to fill empty skies.
I was once the sky,
Searching barren deserts for mountains.
Until I realized, I am mountainous.
Mar 2, 2017
Mar 2, 2017 at 5:08 AM UTC
Only had I known
The true nature
Of my rugged edges
That they weren't supposed to be
So callously blunted
I wouldn't have tried so much
Wasting my time
trying to run them
Into circles where they never belonged
Into places for they never longed
Instead
I would have toiled
Sharpening them with the implied
And make them bleed with unwavering pride.
Dec 5, 2016
Dec 5, 2016 at 10:39 PM UTC
I wear extensions on my head and get them glued to every last eyelash.
I wear makeup as a mask that i apply with perfectionism and wasted time.
and I wear what you'll like on my body
because there is a lot of me missing that I need to compensate for.
Jun 23, 2016
Jun 23, 2016 at 2:36 AM UTC
A pair of stays to bind in fashion,
Stiff bodice lift those ample *******
French sophistication and ***** south,
Linen lines taken from the robin's nests.
Once seen in times known to all Baroque,
Steel cages more true to the name,
Renaissance blushed at the very sight,
This hidden and blustering shame.
Georgian era was always that late,
Yet women united to sheer the skin,
Frills and cuffs were the new bloom,
The dowdy apron given to the bin.
Victorian, Edwardian seen a rise of empire,
When romance boasts the whale bone done,
Now scattered in all weddings and burlesque,
Dear Corset is set in memory to run and run.
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 7:50 AM UTC