#festering
The wound is
Pouring
Open
No sadness
No somber
No melancholy
Only anger
Dripping
Rage
Souring
Flames
My story
Our story
The history
Between you
And me
The violence
The blood
The flood
What i once
Called
Love
I hate it
I loved so many
Songs
Treacherous
Dear john
Haunted
They made me
Belong
I felt it
In these songs
I sang
Along
I too thought
How romantic
It is
To be played with
Haunted
To escape
Into
This
To feel
Finally
Wanted
An older man
The slope was
Slippery
I ran full speed
Fell
And flew
If I only
*******
Knew
Loving him
Was red
Bleeding
Dripping
Starving
Only
Longing
Pouring
Into
Someone
Who only
Used you
For
!!Fun!!
I never listen
To them anymore
Now that i know
The meaning
I know
Behind them
I feel
So stupid
Singing along
So used
Loving those songs
So blinded
So obtuse
You
Abused
Me
And i turned
It into
A
Melody
And sang
Along
I thought that love
Was pain
I thought it
Was nothing
But
Suffering
It's all i knew
Around me
Fights
Knuckles
Screams
Bleeding
Hatred
Cruelty
Words
Stealing
Me
Stealing
What
I
Believe
Love was
Wanting to puke
Love was
Wanting you
Love was
Bugs crawling
In my skin
Love was
Everytime
I heard you
Sing
Love was twisted broken
Endings
Love was everything
We had
From the beginning
I thought it was
Love
To feel violated
Betrayed
To feel afraid
Misbehaved
My secret parts
Tearing
Apart
Free for your pleasure
Free as your treasure
I bled for us
To be together
I never listened
To those songs
Again
The ones she sang
They bring
So much
Shame
It's another thing
You ******* stole
From me
Today I listened
Today i remembered
All of it
The melody
The excitement
Feeling haunted
Feeling used
Feeling wanted
And abused
Feeling you
Feeling
You
I remember
The slope
The hope
The games you started
The regret I wanted
Wanting to run
Wanting to be someone
I remember
I was so young
So young
My life had just
Begun
I wanted to belong
To someone
To heal you
To understand
What everyone else
Misunderstood
I wanted
To be
Loved
To show you what it
Really was
You opened me up
When I didn't want you to
My kindness was so strong
You saw it through
You used
It up
****** me dry
Made me cry
I never loved you
I was so desperate to
Please
I let you release
On me
You knew
Yet you stole
All of me
My destiny
My mind
My sanctity
My kind
Ness
Ness
Endless
Suffering
You stole
My dignity
My respect
My trust
My neglect
My pain
My abandonment
My shame
My name
My fame
My debut
My speak now
My birthday
My red
My reputation
I'll never be the same
All i get to claim
To claim
In my own
******* name
Is this rage
Growing and festering
Inside
Of
Me
May 6
May 6, 2026 at 10:57 PM UTC
Pit answerless questions
Against questionless answers
The stuff no one mentions
It just sits and it festers
The best of intentions
Played out by the worst actors
Heathens and hellions
Aren't the back stabbers
©2024
Aug 7, 2024
Aug 7, 2024 at 7:37 PM UTC
Scorching hot
Festering wound
Filled with not pus
But words unspoken.
Let them spill forth now
Before they become uncontrollable
And gush with a flow too fierce
For my broken spirit.
Oct 28, 2018
Oct 28, 2018 at 9:40 PM UTC
You never came and talked to me.
Never explained your betrayal.
Never said you were sorry.
I’m slashed deep
And it’s not healing.
It’s festering.
I can forget,
And so can everyone,
But can I forgive?
I’m not strong enough to forgive.
Every time I remember
It’s hurts more than last time.
Oh God, it hurts so bad.
Now I’ll never know you,
Because I’ll always doubt you.
Can’t you just say your sorry?
For ripping out a part of me.
Can you just pretend you love me?
Just for a few minutes,
Just pretend, please,
Just say you’re sorry.
Mar 2, 2018
Mar 2, 2018 at 5:03 PM UTC
LVI Elapsed October 17th's Bore Witness
To A Girl Born With True Grit
Tuss ben big goo me newt to write
and how though trite
thine complex edifice immersed in spite
which doth nobody any good RIGHT
hence hie exerted effort
from within this quite
mindful sib bull ling to detach himself from his own plight
and fashion attempt (however feeble)
to complete before this night
a communique (my apologies if thee cognition strikes thee
with dumbfounded hard to comprehend patois),
but perchance a mite
bit of the following - dashed off in a huff - epistle sheds light
on ceasing to ignore yourself (envious
of yar fierce sticktowithiveness) scaling height
of apprehension (more insurmountable than
natural mountain peak, versus taking flight
and shuttering ye out of my humdrum life (orchestrated
with mild sax and violins), yea not mooch to excite
but, this effort pressing fingers
upon select keys eventually generated a byte
size message sent via FIOS fiber optic and mostly airtight.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Tis with great difficulty birthday cheer proffered,
when psyche still stung
by lash of acrimouny, calumny, effrontery, finality rung
humility indelicacy,...zealotry
as if spoken with glee from your tongue.
unwise to sustain estrangement caws
each of us imperfect, aye kin attest mine past awash with flaws,
and admit crushing impact felt from others,
especially late Zison inlaws
but, now yearly occasion of your birth opportunistic
despite being annexed by anxiety based on uncertain laws
sans human behavior, how ye might respond,
me owning modest kudos buffer as oopahs
to risk brokering a detente (which avoidance
toward thee) undermines cumulative,
endearing hur rahs
visited times gone by,
which recent past found me unstoppably gurgling
invariably vibrating uvulas
(yes, ja probably forgot, this bro' born
a mutant Ninja Turtle) xy awes,
speaking severe nasal sounds,
when exhalation boyhood memory draws
obvious twang – another ace in the hole for bullies –
gnashing identityguard where gauze
superfluous, and those hurtful ingrates lobbed words,
when they may as well swang fists at me upper and lower jaws,
though decades in the past, the imprimatur indeibly etched,
yet stinging rebukes from maws
and faux paws trigger remembrance of things past
(analogous to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder -
in my case countless acromonious, denigrating, execrable names
contributed to Schizoid Personality Disorder –
though predisposition for sundry mental illness
most likely incsribed within mom and pop sic cull genes),
now greater enlightenment reacting/responding to stress
comprehending my biology, chronology, ecology, geneaolgy
(fyi – Amelie paid consultant at 23andme.com for blueprint
denoting fabric housing jumbled, linkedin, nested past –
results surprisingly showed 1% Neanderthal
comprise inherited) psychology,
thus explaining insatiable hunger for bananas,
and intermittant urge to swing from tree to tree,
whereby I willingly accept arboreal, corporeal,
generallly less than ideal traits
which pro active overtures arrest
(without a warrant), contest, assent everest
(albeit metaphorically) satisfactorily
extending virtual olive branch (pitted)
recognize immutable imposibility to confront
excrutciating bygone feelings,
this endeavor, a quest to test mine kempf zone, and endure
current flow of uneasiness (clammy
and sweaty hands fostered by andiety),
yet exorcizing mailer demons critical
to experience mindfullness, and requisite
to fast tract expeditious deliverence,
whereat ye ought not be deprived
THIS SIBLING (HAN SOLE BROTHER)
WHOSE LOVE TOOTH HE
(on account of dentures) DIDST OFTEN BESPEAK!
Oct 15, 2017
Oct 15, 2017 at 8:08 PM UTC
a l_
trill her
mind if
presence there
a thrill
as she
dine with
zebra and
supplant n
in equation
with superfluous
value that
her love
is x
while sacroiliac
crease abandon
her doubt
Aug 24, 2017
Aug 24, 2017 at 7:43 AM UTC
Laying in the algae bed,
Soaking up the sunshine,
Festering in the daytime hours,
No one knows your name,
You never sleep at night.
There is a cure for this,
It all starts with one deep breath,
But the air was never sweet enough,
Underneath your fingertips.
Mar 5, 2015
Mar 5, 2015 at 4:34 PM UTC