#fester
Festered with Love.
Feigned by an Illusion of Trust and Deceit,
Never had a chance to clarify the Endless Desolation.
On the Twilight before a dark night,
I lost my light to a starking sight.
The love that Festered with the light is long lost in the oceans of the night, The sight of the shimmering light, dwindled in the mighty ruth of the dark.
Feb 24, 2023
Feb 24, 2023 at 6:54 AM UTC
Eaten Alive by Nothing
Surrounded yet alone,
Wasteland of desperation and despair,
Reaping rotting fruit, bloats, gnats, flyblown,
Longing, loneliness is never fair,
Lanterns and candle light to keep you warm,
Dancing shadows morph to devils,
Slitting despair bleeding, breeding ticks that swarm,
They feed and breed into hungry weevils,
Burrowing through chest to feed on carrion of rotting heart,
Also feeding on air from lung,
Heart along in solitude from ventricles shredded apart,
Alienating through truth, be still my lashing tongue,
Friends are always around,
Right until you need,
A lost letter of emotion sent outbound,
Lost but never found, devils take the lead,
Numb, in slowly boiling water like a frog,
Past scars of trauma a curse,
Can only feel so much before a clog,
Until you become cold, psychotic, or worse.
Break out the old smokescreen mask,
Smoke, laugh and smile,
Survivals your only task,
Foot in front of foot until your first mile,
Decaying down to skin and bone,
Each mile a greater distance,
Always harder when you’re alone,
Exhausted, running from the devils persistence,
Until a day you want to be alone
Quarantining spread this plagues fate of hate,
Feeling like happiness is just a loan,
Someone finally listens, too little, too late,
You hug your dark cloud,
With a thirst water doesn’t sate,
Ears covered, anxiety so, so loud,
Take a shot, a smoke, anything to placate,
An infested body no one wants close,
Insect army of traumas and abuses,
Each growing into a lethal dose,
At least for now, I still have my uses,
Aug 14, 2019
Aug 14, 2019 at 6:22 PM UTC
Fear,
you make my body quake
leave cracks in my esteem
and invite doubts
to harbor and fester as you
send a shiver down my spine
to drown my fire.
Fear,
you soak up all the syllables.
that I was to mutter
so I stumble
and stand there mute
with my stomach heavy with nausea.
Fear,
I take guilt bites
as I am lost in panicky howls.
while you lay out procrastination unevenly
and drink from the reservoir of my energy.
Fear,
you trick my potential
wipe out my credential
leave nothing but
raspy and rough remnants for me
to draw from.
Fear,
you rule the beats of my heart
pulling me out at the first hello.
you grip me,
whisper obscurely
whilst darkness grasps my sense
and wraps my dreams with dark matter.
Fear,
with you my my soul
remains parched like the desert,
and my brain wrecked with nervosity
as the sensation spreads across my body.
But Fear,
I want to be one step ahead
of you this time.
I don’t want my fate to collapse
beneath your decisions.
Fear,
I want to spell courage louder
than your stifling whispers
as I embrace opportunities
regardless of how daunting and risky you paint it to be.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 8:38 AM UTC
i. let the flower crumble in my hands
my hand moved of its own violation
no petals just fine powder
ill make a new lipstick to wear
ii. i take my coffee with chocolate now
my hard liquor with water
down my wine like a shot
iv. these festering bugs are my halo
muddy feet to mark the path to avoid
good nights rest in a cesspool
iii. jaw popping like a screw’s gone lose
if i cut my tongue off today
i know it'll grow back twice as long
v. red in my pocket and it's not even blood
Oct 1, 2018
Oct 1, 2018 at 7:00 PM UTC
I see the madness
Festering inside
I watch it unfolding
From where I reside
Not quite within
But not without
Just barely and torridly
Floating about
If I remain here
I'll be eaten alive
But if I flee
It'll eat me up inside
Jul 2, 2018
Jul 2, 2018 at 5:35 PM UTC
Many are the things unsaid
when tongues are bit
Much is the blood
spilled when hearts are slit
Many are the moments
forsaken when the mind’s unfit
Much of the pain
still fester even with words deliberately writ
Dec 4, 2017
Dec 4, 2017 at 2:05 AM UTC
I was 7 when I learned the art of touch
but that doesn’t make me Lolita’s sister.
I was 14 when I thought I figured out *** and love
were one in the same.
So tell me why everywhere you touched me
I began to turn black like a the band of a fake ring on a child’s finger
I began to turn a colour I could not wash off
with soap and water.
The darker I became the more you began to
smell of rotting meat left out in the sun.
You were festering and the holes in your heart
burned through to your skin.
Sometimes in my sleep
I still smell you waiting in the darkness.
And sometimes in the shower
I still find deep marks I cannot ever seem to get rid of.
Everyone in this life might mistake the look in your eyes as love,
but I will never be so easily fooled again.
Aug 13, 2015
Aug 13, 2015 at 8:50 AM UTC
Why does it linger
open wounds with out care rot
So let it fester.
Oct 4, 2014
Oct 4, 2014 at 6:09 PM UTC
I wander through my house,
aimless steps,
looking at all that I've accumulated
and hating it, every bit.
So much needs to be accomplished,
but it all feels so purposeless.
Wash, sweep, launder, wipe,
what for?
All of this ****
meaningless to me
and I'm honestly sick of cleaning it.
The same motions over and over,
a metaphor for my life.
I walk room to room,
eyes glancing upon chores undone
yet another day,
but I don't feel like doing them
today either.
I don't want to do any of it,
want nothing to do with
any of this crap.
I meander back to the bedroom,
lie down in bed yet again,
where I never seem to leave
on my days off.
Festering,
this I can do.
Aug 2, 2014
Aug 2, 2014 at 2:04 PM UTC
I was 7 when I learned the art of touch
but that doesn’t make me Lolita’s sister
I was 14 when I thought I figured out *** and love
were one in the same
so tell me why everywhere you touched me
I began to turn black like a the band of a fake ring on a child’s finger
I began to turn a colour I could not wash off
with soap and water
the darker I became the more you began to
smell of rotting meat left out in the sun
you were festering and the holes in your heart
burned through to your skin
sometimes in my sleep
I still smell you waiting in the darkness
and sometimes in the shower
I still find deep marks I cannot ever seem to get rid of
Everyone in this life might mistake the look in your eyes as love
But I will never be so easily fooled again
Mar 28, 2014
Mar 28, 2014 at 7:02 PM UTC