#feat
I do not go through life fearless, nor do I wait until I've conquered fear
Everything I do I do despite fear, fight through every tear, must be better than the prior year
I'm sure there's a word for exactly that, that's a fact, but I call it living
Acknowledge when I fall flat, remember there's no safety mat and I must never go back to the beginning
That's who I want to be, that's what I want to say
But that is not the me I wake up with everyday
I'm unsure,
Insecure,
Immature,
With a bit of a temper
I could go on and on, stop me when it starts to sound familiar...
©2023
Nov 13, 2023
Nov 13, 2023 at 8:48 PM UTC
They’re hunting me down
He tore my gown
This night was supposed to be magic
But I know now it can only end tragic
A gunshot resounds and I taste sounds
The last thing I see
Is my blood splatter on a tree
The last thing I hear
My own scream, ringing in fear
The last thing I smell
Is the dirt I hit when I fell
Warm brown eyes full of enchanting lies
Wouldn’t let go, and on this forest floor
My blood slowly dries
He wouldn’t take no
And he wouldn’t let go
So here I will fade
In a pillow of snow
Nov 21, 2020
Nov 21, 2020 at 3:54 PM UTC
still be on my feat
oh Joni you showed up at my door once more, Saturday morn,
blonde bangs and ***** voice, two octaves below shrill,
right about where the register intersection of
heart piercing, me humming, memory smiling,
poetry inspiring, yeah memories crying, that too
together, we have had more than many,
one case of you, a million sips, and I am writing
to see how you're feeling and to let you know
I never drank a case of you that left me,
being still, left me standing on my feat
my feat?
drank de-feat like it was the sea, boundless but not soundless,
sweet waves repeating, sea tears tinged with bittersweet cries of
Tupelo honey,
cause you were one of my angels,
lifting me higher when love was saying
not!
this time kid,
place, babe, not this peculiar particular apparition,
wrong rendition,
and at last, finally, long time later, sheepishly, sweetly only,
what was her name
your voice stood me up, your words still slap my face with
cases of kisses upon my neck, tune-turning prophetic notions of
what's next still be only just around the corner,
waiting on a new, simple twist of feat,
another song, poem, lover, and yet another,
case of you, so we can always see both sides,
and when I think of you Joni
my mind seesaws,
and I, still be on my feet, and thanks to you
ready for my feat
<•>
10:59am 10/28/17
Oct 28, 2017
Oct 28, 2017 at 11:00 AM UTC
I. The False Mirror
that's how it starts
dull and creeping.
shadows in the back of your mind.
reassuring you that the smoke
from their furious fire
is only temporary.
"Look away
lest the Light claim your eyes!".
the thing with shadows is
the more you look away
the further in
they close.
as flames roar
the only sound you hear
is a soothing song
of dominion.
until your world
is a vision
of black alabaster
where you can't tell the difference
between shadow and caster.
II. Portrait of An Owner
we take the medicine
that consumes us.
leaks through the cracks
in our spine.
dripping
we make moves in the dark.
tripping
over useless pieces
of used-to-be heart.
they say
the road less travelled
doesn't go our way.
they say
many have been led astray.
so we wait
in fear.
with bated breath
for the next hit
to keep us in place.
III. a bête noire
we were promised planes
but given straw wings
tethered to the shore.
they remind us
we can fly
but not to aim too high
or stray
too close to the light.
that we might see
what Icarus seen.
living isn't being
without a doubt
he would tell us
he didn't fly high enough.
so, for the spectacle
we'll gladly burn
alive.
belonging to none
severing ties.
that's how endings begin
bright and sprawling.
Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 9:05 AM UTC
Now whenever I think back
to that feeling which has
almost completely been erased from my memory
I wonder
Was the feeling
that he was there waiting for me
that any moment I’d be in his grip
in his claws
I’d be helpless
alone
That was the worst part
alone
no one else
even if there were, they weren’t any better off
Just me
in a solitary
suspended
state of terrified numbness
so caught up in the moment
Then there was no time
to think logically
and see it for what it was
As I can do now
But
as much as I am relieved to be freed from the dreadful mindless panic
There is a part of me that feels it’s loss
Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 7:41 PM UTC
This is a new page.
Empty;Deep Love and woes fill;
The former is me?
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
I wanted to fall asleep it was my escape in this reality
Deeply imagining of what could've been.
Flying around the World with no reason to stop and much as well rest...
The nights are not what they seem, I need to stay awake.
The voices in my head telling me to open my eyes wide
Where only I can see the dark, wishing I was blind.
The silence was killer, to think I'd go back and listen to my Dad read a story or my Mom sing me to sleep
But I hear whispers saying I should leave.
Dreams weren't nice, they were frightful like the night
I can't differentiate reality from slumber.
The moment I close my eyelids I'd feel it, the grasp of something unseen. It's screaming in my ear letting me know
I'm not alone.
It's morning again 24hrs to prepare for Bedtime once more, another battle.
And the Demon had a score.
Jun 9, 2018
Jun 9, 2018 at 7:16 AM UTC
A hurting generation
of broken children
we are the end of this
alphabet of problems
our future is hopeless
full of student loans
and a job crisis
the millennials have
warned us so
So we dull our pain
with jokes and memes
ridiculed by older people
but we know that
our future is dull and
filled with hardship
so let’s make our now
bright and fun
and most of all
a good memory
for when things get hard
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
The overwhelming feeling of defeat, today it was such a great feat.
Aug 25, 2017
Aug 25, 2017 at 10:19 AM UTC
A simple smile that can cut through clouds as ominous as my fears.
A touch that can constrain my thoughts into a silent warm room.
Words that can save a lost soul from drowning in themselves.
A heart that is pure, patient, and persistent.
You are the reason the sky is blue and not gray.
You are the energy I need to ignite a lingering thought that terrorizes my brain.
Forever moving and adapting to my contradictions.
Forever still and strong as I travel down a road I must take; that may well break me into many tiny pieces that will fill the lungs and stomachs of all that I love.
Suffocating them into extinction and spreading across fields like wild fire.
Then I am back.
Back to you… Home.
O.K.
Still walking, still fighting
I know now this fight is no longer just for me, but for all those who will suffer from my broken pieces.
All those who live in a world I do not understand.
And then I am back.
You are what keeps me up when I am no longer able to put a foot in front of the other.
I just need to remember to comeback. Never letting these tiny morsels of my truths take me too far from you.
Always keeping my hand in yours. Always taking each step with you in sight.
I need to always remember the place I can fall to is REAL and it can tear away all that is dear to me.
I promise to come back always to you.
Because your simple smile can cut through clouds as ominous as my fears.
Your touch can constrain my thoughts into a silent warm room.
Your words can save this lost soul from drowning in themselves.
Your heart always pure, patient, and persistent
I will always come back to you.
Jun 17, 2017
Jun 17, 2017 at 11:33 AM UTC
**Comrades and friends
What seems to be
Is not what really is
When I fall into a hole
You’ve dug for me
You are with me in it
When the swell of the tide
Sweeps me away into oblivion
You dare not rejoice
For the same tide
Will hasten your passage
When it’s your time
Those that harm the body
Only scratch the outer shell
Inside where I reside
I remain beautiful and unscathed
And live to fight another day
Propelled by you willy-nilly
To other realms
In other dimensions
Thus accomplish I
What you fear to contemplate
Mine is a feat for all time
While you wonder and speculate
Endlessly ...**
Jan 20, 2016
Jan 20, 2016 at 3:23 PM UTC
Finding myself tired and uninspired
at least the bed left me today.
I did my laundry
what more do you want from me
I can't think of much else
in this haze.
Sometimes,
the passions stop.
I no longer see the sputtering
of yellow lines down
a highway
as something I could recreate
into a beautiful composition.
The sky is only grey
and no longer the keeper of
nostalgic malaise.
My feet only move me
when bothered for the trouble
and howl and moan
every mile of road
they encounter.
I don't have a real position on
the matter
when my thoughts scatter
and I'm left with hollow eyes
and a succulent consciousness
gone dry.
I don't have a snarky reply
just another useless day
I unwillingly offer up
to the unforgiving clock
and a loss of sentiment.
C.e.m.
3.10.15
Mar 15, 2015
Mar 15, 2015 at 10:23 AM UTC
Sitting by myself
In a room
Illuminated by
Fairy lights.
Sipping on some
Green tea
And treating myself
To chocolate therapy.
Thinking back to the days
When you were my first thought,
The last, and
Every thought in between.
My eyes wander into a haze
As my mind watches glimpses
Of happy days
Where we hovered inches
From each other
Breathing nervously
Before our lips touched.
The spark that ignited
Something called love,
A distant memory now
But please, take a bow.
Take a bow for the amazing feat
That shattered all my dreams,
My belief in love ruined
I hid my screams
I didn't want you to come back.
Giving out chances
Is a weakness long gone.
Playing games is your high
Shutting you out is mine.
Jun 18, 2014
Jun 18, 2014 at 12:26 PM UTC