#fearing
I hear whispers,
In the night.
Somebody lurking,
Far away
Or are they,
Very close?
Paranoid,
Hanging crosses on doorknobs.
But does even Christ,
Have the power to protect me from things unreal?
Staring into the dark,
Fatigue eating at me.
Trying to be quiet,
So whatever is out there won't hear me breathe.
Dreams take me back,
To dark winter woods.
Howling winds,
I swear I saw it.
I swear it's real.
Dec 17, 2024
Dec 17, 2024 at 12:53 PM UTC
I wanted to spread my fragrance like
Flowers do. Nothing I did wrong. Just
Strive to make me stronger enough.
Don't know where and why it ***** you,
As the way I am living my dream. You
Started to knit the invisible web of
Despise and slander for me with words.
Without any real facts your defaming
Words made my dreams full of
Nightmares and screams. I started
Fearing to consume which I adore.
My fragrance become poisionus gas
For my ownself to swallow tarped in your
Pointless whispers. Still, Do I need to let
You decide my life? No, Not any longer.
I am going to spurn your bruits
with my
Smile. Make you long for the thing which
Now you despise by achieving my triumph
As I wage a war of one, My armaments
Can't fail me now.
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 5:39 AM UTC
Some nights
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And in His mercy,
let me die as I sleep.
But instead
He fills me with His view of reality
And in His mercy
He brings me His peace.
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 10:57 PM UTC
I was trembling and sweating
Heart beating like drums,
Pulsating through your ears and body
Tingling vibration in my skin
Chills walking on my spine
Darkness loomed my mind
The cowardice had taken over me
Provoking my deepest anxieties
The demands of courage are different from what I envisioned
Different from that bright morning, when I felt brave
Dec 29, 2018
Dec 29, 2018 at 12:13 PM UTC
With all of the power with the Consuming Fire,
With all of the power with the death Defeater
With all of the power with the Spirit of Wisdom,
It’s all on me to decide
Am I bonded by the chains of sin?
Am I a slave with no chains for the death Defeater?
Will The grace of the Consuming Fire be my master?.
As slavement lives and takes, slavement will never die, till the day that sins dies. Till that day Bond servant, I will thrive to be, bond to thrive, to thrive is for the Consuming Fire, from darkness I once came, now from the fire I'm reborn to long live as a **** servant.
Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 4:17 AM UTC
I used to **** my stomach in,
Till my lungs would ache and split,
Then I learned to pull my muscles up,
And I'd find a better fit.
I learnt from magazines,
and TV shows,
The things that told us,
To always shrink, to never grow.
I learnt from my mother and my sister,
Who would sit and pinch their thighs,
With a sigh and a shriek,
About needing to go down a size.
I became obsessed,
But not with food, wine, or shopping,
My obsession was with the fat under my skin,
Growing fast and never stopping.
I became obsessed with numbers,
Numbers even though I hated math,
People telling me to stop, to eat,
The voices in my head would clash.
I feared that I would grow,
But also I would shrink,
Fingers trailing gaunt on skin,
My madness slipping from the brink.
I feared that I wouldn't wake up,
The next morning, the next week,
But I couldn't stop myself from finding,
The skinny I'd always seek.
I'm not fat, I know I'm not,
And I know weight does not define me,
But I see the bone, I strive to see it more,
Without bone what would I be?
Oct 18, 2017
Oct 18, 2017 at 5:22 AM UTC
proving
misconstruing.
hearing
sneering
fearing
weary.
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 3:04 AM UTC
And I say unto thee, wearily
I know not when it will end
The realm of darkness, a growing sphere
Where times lies down to spend
Exalted standers, enter near
In the same mystical space as I
But Lo! The horizon does approacheth
Over-all they do or ever did try
Loudly I say, how do I perceive it?
The True Greatness that occupies...
A blessed vision, they do not think of
Though it looms before their eyes
I yell unto thee, fearful
Warning you and beings to surrender
I cannot look down and ignore the darkness
So be it, I shall, forever
Mar 21, 2017
Mar 21, 2017 at 9:40 PM UTC
Falling... and wondering.
Falling... and pondering.
Falling... and recollecting.
Falling... and memorizing.
Falling... and regretting.
Falling...... and fearing.
Falling..................
And then - awakening.
Feb 2, 2017
Feb 2, 2017 at 12:40 AM UTC
"What do you fear?"
"The thought of never fearing"
"That doesn't make any sense though"
"Allow me to explain:"
Fear itself is an immense power
One that prevents us from rising, gives us bounds
Without it, Man would fall into chaos
And in the spree of delirious glee, he would get lost
If Man had no fear, he wouldn't care for rules
Only then would the smart ones be called fools
Be content with what you've got, don't try to take
What isn't yours, a potentially fatal mistake
Man is jealous of those who have
What he doesn't and this'll just make him mad
Without any fear, he'd challenge someone
And pretty soon the world would be bursting, full of guns
Rifles raised and triggers pulled
Blood spatters and bodies mauled
But without any restriction, Government or rules
Fear would disappear and guns would be our tools
So be thankful you have capacity to fear
Because without it you'd draw the world quite near
The end of its life, so forever and again
Be grateful the fear isn't in your hand but your brain
Sep 7, 2016
Sep 7, 2016 at 1:21 AM UTC
I guess
What feareth me the most
Is feeling like
Im the only one in this...
Jul 19, 2015
Jul 19, 2015 at 6:42 PM UTC
I know a bitter man,
Bitter he grew from being a sweet boy,
Butter he applied to things but it didn't work out,
That bitter man here is me who often chews bitter tablets.
Fearing love I have gotten experienced the bitter way,
Know I not of any other love in any other better way.
Oh how I know about myself apparently adamantly,
I know myself but nobody as good - no better man.
Just a poem inspired by reality.
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 6:09 PM UTC
Fear is like a plague.
There’s no getting away from that aching
feeling of uncertainty that follows you
everywhere you go, finding you
even in the smallest of corners.
Fear is like a fire that you can’t tame
because trying to put it out only makes it grow
stronger and although people tell you
to face your fears, once it sets in,
spreading faster, is there really a way
to get away from something once it has
complete control over you?
You grow up with the pain of fear.
Fear that nothing good will ever come
because that’s just how the world works.
The pain, the depression, and the rejection
can easily be masked with a small smile
that says you’re fine.
It gets to the point where that small smile
becomes the biggest lie in the world;
a lie to deceive anyone and anything that
it comes in contact with.
Yet, no matter how big the lie may be,
it holds the power to make something
good slowly turn into something bad;
where the lie not only deceives
everyone else but also
ourselves in the end.
Lies about who we’re not become
truths about who we are to become.
The world works in ways where
the truth is a lie and a lie is
the truth if you’re willing to believe it.
They get tangled into such a web where
you no longer know the difference
between the two, only causing misery
in the long run.
It gets so etched into your mind
that you lose who you are to it
and once that happens,
the day has arrived where
you may wake up in the morning,
look in the mirror and no longer recognize
the stranger in front of you.
It’s the day you realize that so much time
has passed that the person you once were
is no longer who you are.
You won’t know the difference between good or bad,
you won’t know who you had been,
or what you had become.
There’s no starting over,
no returning to what use to be;
all you have is that one moment and
you live inside that same moment until
the deception finally kills you over.
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 1:41 PM UTC