#faraway
i let my fingertips
gently trace
the lines on your plams
like they're constellations
in the sky.
so beautiful,
so perfect,
but yet
so
far
away.
Jan 4
Jan 4, 2026 at 8:15 AM UTC
You’re a bearer,
and I’m your admirer
unreachable,
yet still findable,
if only things were different.
Only a blink, a sign, a wink,
one move to blow me away.
Your passion makes me fade.
An intense obsession
born of admiration.
You inspire me with your vision
I’m blown away
by all that is bigger
than the planet Earth has given us.
They tell me it’s impossible.
ChatGPT confirms: undeniable.
A life choice, true dedication,
spiritual affirmations.
Holding a light bulb,
shining it to the world,
becoming a follower.
It took nothing to blow me away
waves of attraction to the impossible.
Healing sadness born of the unbearable,
so unreachable,
yet I will remain
the admirer.
Dec 23, 2025
Dec 23, 2025 at 7:55 AM UTC
Warm whisper,
Distant glow.
Cold breeze,
Frozen hush.
Sharp glare,
Fiery mirror.
Gentle glance,
Cold water.
Cosmic reactions,
Burning inside.
Limpidly reflecting,
True nature.
Dead inside,
Not soulless.
Stealing the light,
Shining outside.
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 4:58 PM UTC
In all my iterations, and my frequent reiterations,
Introspection reflection, run a muck, I find it unnecessary
To talk to God; the reason being quite simple, is
It and I are in constant dialogue, nary a pause, chattering
Round the clock, 24 seven, night and day, sleep interruptus,
I think to myself God has some nerve,
why can't he bother others?
in other parts of the world…
And so he does!
Visitors from far away lands, and languages I do not understand, but applaud their attempts to decipher the English one, that we share in common; if the lands are exotic, the names are more delightfully so, almost ****** It excites and titillates, to greet these kindred souls whose words be greeted by puzzlement, intrigue, like the delight of rediscovering vanilla, it's the same language spoken differently!
and god smiles and says:
"knew you would eventually speak my soul language!'"
Jul 29, 2025
Jul 29, 2025 at 11:23 AM UTC
it’s the age of technology
yet i don’t even have ur phone number
you could leave it in grocery bags
you could leave it outside the store
i just wanna feel something
i wanna be part of something more
it’s the age of technology
you still left me on read
you heard every word i said as i spat them out
you listened to my every cut bleeding
and you patched them up
i just wanna hear ur voice again
i just wanna remember what we had
it’s the age of technology
yet i couldn’t feel further away from you
you could contact me in less than ten minutes
if you ask around
you could cackle like ravens with me
if you made one sound
i just wanna feel you on earth
i just wanna be part of something more
and it’s the age of technology
yet ur a pen and paper
i reject you as i type on an iphone eleven
losing the pressure of pressing on the ink
and it splattering everywhere
i just wanna reunite
i just wanna be alright
don’t give me a paper cut this time
Jan 26, 2022
Jan 26, 2022 at 10:41 AM UTC
the time when you are just seven
the time when you just know odd and even
the time when you don't breakeven
missing that year seven
where we are not mistaken
where we are not longing for affection
where issues are not getting worsen
can we begin again
Jan 15, 2022
Jan 15, 2022 at 12:27 AM UTC
Some days
I simply don't exist
My body moves
But I'm far away
I text with friends
But my mind is elsewhere
I eat and drink
But I'm still empty
I show emotion
But I feel nothing
I have a reflection
But I don't recognise them
I'm still me
But I'm not
Jan 6, 2021
Jan 6, 2021 at 5:37 AM UTC
_the further you go away, the less I can breathe_
_who has this agonizing grip on my heart?_
_and where can I speak to them, to ask them to let off?_
_i haven't felt pain this demanding until now_
Nov 14, 2020
Nov 14, 2020 at 7:59 PM UTC
make me believe
you are such a relieve
make me trust
you are a must
make me yours
you call me for hours
make me love
you are the one
and make me say
hey
this is
what make you
and will make me
this is
meant to be
just you and me
xo
Nov 13, 2020
Nov 13, 2020 at 2:43 AM UTC
I think about the years
that have passed with no words
that have escaped my mouth regarding
the fire that’s always burned my heart
I think about the years that have passed that I never got you & hope that I’m
blessed enough in this life time to love you
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 8:04 PM UTC
Waking up to place
Faraway from home
Meeting new faces
While I roam on my own
Sound of silence
Palpable in nature
Singing a melody
Like flowers growing in a bomb crater
Its a dream or reality?
For I don’t know
But I wish its a dream
That waits for me to arrive
For I want the world to know
That’s where I will hide
Jul 30, 2020
Jul 30, 2020 at 2:18 AM UTC
I am lifeless
Such as a dry falling leaf
Dead from inside
Yet restless and rustling
In the wind
As to go far away
To separate itself from it's roots
And never to come back from where it once left.
Jun 20, 2020
Jun 20, 2020 at 4:46 AM UTC
You ask me,
how can you be happy and sad?
Or Joyful and mad?
All at the same time
It’s pretty easy, I say,
Easy as seeing my parents
In the screen everyday
for my city I fled
and I don't get to hug them
But they're fine, you see
and that makes me happy
and my friends live their lives
as well as I live mine
and their news make me smile
make me joyful and then perhaps mad
for I wish I could be there
and I know that can't happen
So, yeah perhaps I'm mad
cause I have no future in my land
but I'm happy where I am
and the contradiction starts
So, I'll make peace with my mind
let my feelings aside
I'll be thankfull for what I got
and shut everything aside
Jun 1, 2020
Jun 1, 2020 at 12:13 PM UTC
To the shores that return,
I see you.
To the shores that never look back,
I see you.
To the shores that are lost,
I pray for you.
To the shores that cry,
I pray for you.
To the shores that are alive.
I want to be you.
Apr 20, 2020
Apr 20, 2020 at 4:48 AM UTC
I dream a dream
Of faraway places.
Where I wish to go,
And see the faceless faces.
Silent with sound
Of nature galore.
And I never know
What lies in store.
For I dream a dream
That waits for me to arrive.
And I want the world to know,
That is where I'll hide.
Mar 19, 2020
Mar 19, 2020 at 4:28 PM UTC
Suddenly you left me in the meadow,
Where I can't even imagine your shadow,
The rare hugging of your love,
Has become the memory of owe.
Why you left me so soon,
Where I always see you in the moon,
You are in my mind,
Where I can't find,
Anyone so kind!!
You always use to fight for me,
In all the time I light the candles in the dark,
You always think am a spark,
Of your art.
Baby why you left me,
In da shift of a dark nest,
Baby why are u so far away,
Even I can't image why you let me so sure!!
_amna miyath _
Jan 9, 2020
Jan 9, 2020 at 5:28 PM UTC
"Where do you want to go?"
"Far, far away..."
"It doesn't seem right."
"Never it did"
"Was that supposed to hurt? The constant disappointment."
"..."
"Your mind is in a dark place and you let them win, don't you?"
"..."
"You can't keep it all inside. You're torturing yourself."
"I always end up getting into this situation."
"Stop doing a damage to your ownself."
"You have no idea what I've been through, do you?"
Jan 8, 2020
Jan 8, 2020 at 1:29 AM UTC
It doesn't matter how far you are
I will still love you for you
Even if we aren't physically together
My feelings won't change
It will never fade
But what worries me is that
What if I'm the only one
That will keep on loving you
From a far
When you're out there
who knows
What you are doing
Loving someone one
Which is not me
The fear of you having someone else out there
Worries me
But regardless the situation
I will still love you
So i beg
Deep inside
That you will love me
Only me
Til the end of time
Oct 25, 2019
Oct 25, 2019 at 2:15 PM UTC
If someone asks
Why don't you write,
Those days?
I can't
Pretend
Just reply
Jul 9, 2019
Jul 9, 2019 at 11:10 PM UTC
I was left on a wire
Far above the earth,
Amongst tied sneakers and birds,
Far away from the world.
The fires beneath
Did viciously bleed through and race,
As an artist’s seeping oil paints,
Crimsoning the broken autumn space.
Safe as I was,
Stranded was I as well.
And although by peace my soul’s fires were quelled
The morn meant to awaken me instead burned in hell
And so the grounds once walked,
Now pits of flames to where I turn a blind eye,
Await flowing tears from the skies
Or perhaps even a gentle god's sigh
But life was equally vicious in it's droughts,
And with myself I could not make amends
Like a rat who refutes the hand to which it depends
Again and again, my own mind finds itself to condemn
And so I seek refuge
Between the land and the sky so true
In hopes to see my fears and tears be subdued.
To be among the dead and hollow, I allude,
Fleeting, to a higher ground, but still they collude
To bring me down, as bottled up, I remain overdue
Of a reckoning or healing to burn or to soothe.
Til so, I burn, though from flames so far removed.
And lay my mind further in limbo, and so, I say adieu.
Apr 17, 2019
Apr 17, 2019 at 1:46 PM UTC
मुझको छोड्कर तुम कहाँ जावगे ——२
अप्नी दिलको मेरा साँयाँ बनाकर
एक दिल बन् गए दो दिलको ——२
फिरसे क्या दो दिल बनावगे ?
सँग बीताए पल कैसे कोइ भूलाए
यादहे मुझको तेरा हसना रोना
जब एक दिन दुर होकर बीताएथे
तेरे नजरे पर साथ हमने लाएँथे
एक दिल बन् गए दो दिलकोे
फिरसे क्याँ दो दिल बनावगे ?
दिलमे दर्द देकर कहाँ तुम जावगे ——२
भूलाना हम कहाँ सकेङगे तुमको
जीसको हम् दिलपे लेकर चलते हे
जीसको हम जमीर अप्ना समझते
जीस् से हमने बात सिकँे थे प्याराँे के
जीसका बाते अभी भी कानोमे हँे मेरँे ——२
एक दिल बन् गए दो दिलको
फिरसे क्या दो दिल बनावगे ?
एक दिल बन् गए दो दिलको
फिरसे क्या दो दिल बनावगे ? ——२
Mar 27, 2019
Mar 27, 2019 at 11:30 AM UTC
कोइ न बीताए अप्ना एसा पल
मेरा कहेना, अब बारिहे तेरे सुन —२
आँएथे कही पहेले यहाँ कभी
कोइथा जो चल्ताथा मेरे संग —२
दिलके साथ दर्द साटे एक दिन
साथ नछुटे डरथा दिलमे हरदम् —२
कभी गाना कभी हसना था व पल
कभी छुपा तो कभी मील्ते थे हम्
एक दिन नमीले तुमसे जब संग
लगाथा पाएङगे जी के सिर्फ अब गम्
साथ नछुटे डरथा दिलमे हरदम् —३
कहां कहांसे आया फिरभीे व एक वक्त
पुछे बीन लेगाया तुझको उसने मेरे सँग
अब बाँकिहे सिर्फ उसके साथ रहेता पल
कभी गाना तो कभी हसाँ कर्तँेथे हम् —२
कभी छुपा तो कभी मील्तेथे हम् —२
कोइ न बीताए अपना एसा पल
मेरा कहेना अब बारिहे तेरे सुन —३
Mar 27, 2019
Mar 27, 2019 at 11:38 AM UTC
We are alike
Almost alike
Silent
Once I told
I like your vibes
Be a family
[Silent, she was]
Now she is
Recognized as
Status of liberty
One can't deny
Her beauty
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 8:35 PM UTC
Journal entry #2
Today I finally decide to truly let go.
I no longer want her friendship, just like she has countlessly rejected my love. It is cruel and unfair to expect opposite feelings of the other.
We found each other against all odds, she approached me with intrigue and decadence, hoped for comfort, but let it all go when the bell rang. Like holding an infant in your arms, looking for care and attention, begging for patience and vision to give it the chance to grow strong and beautiful. Instead left under a bridge too weak and brittle to keep it.
I think I made her happy, but her warmth dissipated as soon as I had to leave, the mistake perhaps was to tell her that I love you. But she never wanted a serious relationship, she just wanted a connection with a man who acknowledged her, made her feel good, desired, important and seek out thrill in her stressful mundane life.
My purpose was served, and I felt disposed of. It has been one long year since the day I had to go, hoping to return.
I don’t want to know anything about her life anymore. Any news will hurt and enrage me. She hurt me so deeply and profoundly she is afraid of what she has done, she feels guilt for not loving me and rejecting a loving man, while I now feel guilt for expecting and forcing feelings onto her fragile soul.
We are equally selfish.
I burdened her with emotional presence from afar, when all she desired was peace and repent in silence. I don’t want to keep hurting her by caring. Today she said, “as soon as you appear in my life it becomes too hard and painful that I will not answer you in return”. Being friends with me would make her happy, she wants to be friends. But being friends is all that it will ever be while we shared such passionate and intimate times together. Her friendship is not enough, I want her in her entirety. I am convinced at this stage there is nothing I can do or say to change her mind. You may think you’re not good enough for me or that you cannot be with someone who you cannot love because love is alien to you, or because circumstances make it so. If you just let go, I would travel across the world and catch you.
It is all in your mind…
Now… By letting go of you entirely. By letting go of the constant hum of your omnipresence in my heart, of wondering what you’re thinking and if you will keep remembering me. We let each other heal and gradually forget a little more each passing day. You will find a man, I am sure. But you will never find someone who loved you more than I do now. Never.
I cherish the time I had with you. I wish things could go differently. I may still decide to go to Russia, perhaps not so soon and for different reasons. But I would also like to deliver on my promise, the promise I made to you a year ago. “I promise to come back”. Perhaps as friends this time, if I’m ready. Oh God. If I become a new man.
To my beloved Nastya. I love you. Goodbye.
Feb 7, 2019
Feb 7, 2019 at 6:21 AM UTC