#familytrauma
You took my wedding day away from me.
Even though you have forgotten about me
I have never forgotten about you.
Someone has even taken your place
And I'm torn in two
Because he was always there
When you never were.
He is the rightful owner of the title
But **** my heart
I can't bring myself to hurt you
In the same way that you have hurt me.
When I think about that special day
In the future
I feel a pain because
Although I know who deserves to walk me down the aisle
I can't imagine having you just sit off to the side
Feeling horrible because you never lived up to who you were supposed to be for me
I'm a fool
It should be easy
But every time,
Every time I think about that day
Instead of feeling joy
I just feel pain and heart ache.
So I have decided,
I won't ever have one.
It's hard to choose between the one that loves you with a fullness in their heart
Versus the one who could never love with depth even though they are blood.
You took that day from me.
I don't want to break your heart
Even though you so easily broke mine.
At the end of the day,
He is my dad through and through
But there was a time that I remembered where you were once my dad too.
Now I see
Princesses grow up
And fairy tales were never real.
You taught me that.
And you took my wedding day away from me.
Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 6:08 PM UTC
I had brothers and not a single one ever protected me.
Instead I was belittled in ways that to this day affect me.
I was introduced to the cruel world at my youngest of ages.
Brothers who didn’t believe in me or love me.
Brothers who passed me on the streets.
Brothers who blamed me for protecting them.
5 against 1.
I was never good enough.
Never worth protecting.
I wasn’t connected, I was intentionally disconnected.
Always the outside looking in.
Instead of believing I could be good enough to win the game ball
They laughed at me made me feel unheard and disregarded.
Again like I was never good enough.
I had 5 brothers and not a single one felt like a brother to me.
I had 5 chances and not a single one gave me one.
I was the villain never allowed to be the victim.
The memories are never the ways I stepped in between and guarded them.
I just never mattered.
It’s never the conversations about how they would reach out for me when they were scared.
Me. I stood up for them but they never did for me.
I had 5 brothers but I don’t feel like a sister at all.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 10:41 PM UTC
There was no magic manual that was given when you gave birth to me
But if there was you would have failed miserably
Even if the answers were written in dark red ink
They wouldn't have given anyone time to think
That maybe the magic mannual that came for me is wrong
Because nothing is fixing me it's taking too long.
But if that magic mannual was real
It would tell them I didn't need fixed
If there was a guide book on how to help
It would tell them to breathe with me
If there were check lists on what to do
Would they have even gone through
With helping me or was I just the enemy
It shouldn't have taken a doctor
It shouldn't have taken a stay
It shouldn't taken anything
Besides them just spending one day
Talking to me helping me working with me side by side
I was too young to bare the weight of wanting to die
And that's why even if the magical manual did exist
My parents wouldn't care. They would be ******
That the efforts they were already exhausting wasn't enough
They didn't have the energy for me
They just wanted to use tough love.
But I was a fragile gentle child
Who needed a hug.
I know there's not a magical manual
And especially not for me
But why did my parents give up so tirelessly
When I was struggling endlessly
Complex and matter of factly.
My magic manual mediates the troubles in face.
If it were real maybe I would have gotten some grace.
My magical manual says it there in the fine print
This little girl came with a few dents.
Mar 5, 2025
Mar 5, 2025 at 10:26 PM UTC