#fakinghappiness
I'm not depressed–
I'm obsessed.
of what, you ask?
Well, saying ‘I'm fine’ with class!
I sound crazy writing this–
just winging it.
thanks to a friend,
I got to vent!
it was mostly yapping,
Yet…
I laugh at the silly things,
Obviously.
I understand myself.
…sometimes.
How often do I say that?
That I’m fine?
It sticks like matte..
Ha. How funny.
How easy is it to sound silly?
How easy it is
To seem all fine and ****
Maybe something is wrong with me.
Who am I kidding?
Why am I like this?
Why is this all I can give–?
All I ever do?
I should change,
Oh, I know!
So why cant I do so?
The lack of importance i have for things,
Yet I complain and cry at the edge of it.
Holy shit–I’m aware,
But is that really fair?
I know what I’m doing.
I can name these feelings.
I can dissect the causes.
I can tell what’s wrong.
I joke about it,
That part much obvious.
And still,
I stay here.
Knowing the answer
But refuse to write it down.
Maybe that’s the problem.
Just knowing,
And calling it enough.
May 3
May 3, 2026 at 5:02 AM UTC
We run in the same circles
I figured this would happen
That I couldn't avoid you forever
I watched as temporary girls clung to you
I pretended not to notice
I smiled too brightly and laughed too loudly
Hoping to that I could cause the same ache in your chest that was living in mine
But I had to tell myself that even though you were here you weren't here for me
Dec 20, 2015
Dec 20, 2015 at 12:04 AM UTC