#exreligious - Hello Poetry

Purify through fire and fury Scourge away imperfections But in doing so, sear away the layers of myself That I never knew I would miss Until now, with raw baby flesh left Pink, bubbling burns. Sit down, little fool; These words are not meant for you Your little ears are too soft and sensitive For such a scalding reality.

0

Sep 5, 2023

Sep 5, 2023 at 11:46 PM UTC

KittG

Bathe in Brimstone

Purify through fire and fury Scourge away imperfections But in doing so, sear away the layers of myself That I never knew I would miss Until now, with raw baby flesh left Pink, bubbling burns. Sit down, little fool; These words are not meant for you Your little ears are too soft and sensitive For such a scalding reality.

10

I remember how much I loved you and wanted you but I couldn't ever express it and I was always taught that it was wrong to love a girl like I did when I was so young it still rings in my mind trying to convince me to feel shame but I know that what I felt for you was real and I can't ever share it with you or know if you ever felt the same for you are married and you hurt me in such a deep way but I still miss you so so much I always wanted to be you and to be with you you were always so so beautiful to me I have always tried to get over you but maybe a childhood love is hard to get over you were the one who made me find the word that I know was my truth that maybe I am bisexual now I try to not label myself for this label too has caused me pain I love souls I love energy I love people I am trying to forgive you and to let this pain go and maybe one day we will talk again soon.

0

Oct 1, 2023

Oct 1, 2023 at 2:31 PM UTC

MMMM

To the lover that I could never name.

I remember how much I loved you and wanted you but I couldn't ever express it and I was always taught that it was wrong to love a girl like I did when I was so young it still rings in my mind trying to convince me to feel shame but I know that what I felt for you was real and I can't ever share it with you or know if you ever felt the same for you are married and you hurt me in such a deep way but I still miss you so so much I always wanted to be you and to be with you you were always so so beautiful to me I have always tried to get over you but maybe a childhood love is hard to get over you were the one who made me find the word that I know was my truth that maybe I am bisexual now I try to not label myself for this label too has caused me pain I love souls I love energy I love people I am trying to forgive you and to let this pain go and maybe one day we will talk again soon.

30

Scattered, my heart, my soul Amidst the painful abyss, I find the pieces of me that were cast aside, And I lovingly pick her up, Put her upon my strong shoulders, Wipe my own tears and tell her it will be over soon. But when will it end? I sometimes ask myself. I went abroad to try to find myself, But I still feel lost and so different— I feel stripped of all my identities: of Zionism, of my family, of my homeland, of the USA, of my hometown, of my old beliefs, my old values, of what Judaism once was for me. But alas, I have left the religion too, Of grieving the land of Israel–Palestine, Because it feels like it’s grieving me. And all of my pain, I see exemplified in their eyes, Through the hands of the oppressors That I was once a part of. It all just tastes so awful— The feeling of always being fully masked, And then when I am unmasked, I still don’t find my belonging. My longing to feel aligned Almost eats me alive. I was bullied my whole entire life, And the only times I ever felt relief were in my dreams. Maybe that’s why I’ve spent the last few years sleeping it away, Trying to get away. But I think it’s time soon to get away and to start over— Away from my pain, to bring it with me in my arms, To meet it with grace, to look at myself with my own eyes, To meet the pain of self-harm, of suicidality, And to say, I see you. It’s the longing to change, to not stay the same, To want to be alive, But to live very differently. To choose to live. To choose to find peace in small moments. To choose kindness. To choose to not be racist. To choose love. To choose to humanize everyone— Especially myself and my old selves, Who didn’t know any better. That’s all. Maybe it’s a letter to myself, A letter of culmination. I feel my age creeping on me; I feel that I must change my life— Not allow it to pass me by anymore. For I am almost 29, And I am truly away from my toxic, narcissistic past. I don’t have to allow them to bully me anymore. Silence is golden, And I have power. That’s why they have tried to **** me And dim my spirit— Because I am powerful. I always thought I was weak and small, But now I realize That it’s my power that they saw. So it’s my power That I shall take back, Once and for all.

0

Oct 17, 2025

Oct 17, 2025 at 1:46 PM UTC

MMMM

lighting myself up

Scattered, my heart, my soul Amidst the painful abyss, I find the pieces of me that were cast aside, And I lovingly pick her up, Put her upon my strong shoulders, Wipe my own tears and tell her it will be over soon. But when will it end? I sometimes ask myself. I went abroad to try to find myself, But I still feel lost and so different— I feel stripped of all my identities: of Zionism, of my family, of my homeland, of the USA, of my hometown, of my old beliefs, my old values, of what Judaism once was for me. But alas, I have left the religion too, Of grieving the land of Israel–Palestine, Because it feels like it’s grieving me. And all of my pain, I see exemplified in their eyes, Through the hands of the oppressors That I was once a part of. It all just tastes so awful— The feeling of always being fully masked, And then when I am unmasked, I still don’t find my belonging. My longing to feel aligned Almost eats me alive. I was bullied my whole entire life, And the only times I ever felt relief were in my dreams. Maybe that’s why I’ve spent the last few years sleeping it away, Trying to get away. But I think it’s time soon to get away and to start over— Away from my pain, to bring it with me in my arms, To meet it with grace, to look at myself with my own eyes, To meet the pain of self-harm, of suicidality, And to say, I see you. It’s the longing to change, to not stay the same, To want to be alive, But to live very differently. To choose to live. To choose to find peace in small moments. To choose kindness. To choose to not be racist. To choose love. To choose to humanize everyone— Especially myself and my old selves, Who didn’t know any better. That’s all. Maybe it’s a letter to myself, A letter of culmination. I feel my age creeping on me; I feel that I must change my life— Not allow it to pass me by anymore. For I am almost 29, And I am truly away from my toxic, narcissistic past. I don’t have to allow them to bully me anymore. Silence is golden, And I have power. That’s why they have tried to **** me And dim my spirit— Because I am powerful. I always thought I was weak and small, But now I realize That it’s my power that they saw. So it’s my power That I shall take back, Once and for all.

64

I walked on the streets of jerusalem looking at all the rainbow flags it was as if it was calling me calling me for my freedom sitting in the room alone alone for the first time in my life wow what a gift that is how challenging it felt all alone in a foreign country no support at all for it was the start of the covidjourney of my personal awakening back to myself I than started to allow all the questions i had kept inside of my soul for so long all about religion my self worth who i was how much I was worth what did I want to do with my life who am I I remember the first shabbat(sabbath) I broke it I threw my skirt away and wore pants for the first time I thought wow I feel naked and free And since than the journey has began 3.5 years have past and still am discovering myself who I truly am rediscovering so many things in another city all alone listening to israeli music crying sitting alone as the skies grow darker I wander who am I Am I a Jew Am I just merely a person maybe all the labels don't matter maybe all that I was taught my whole life was all lies maybe there is so much more to life than what I have ever imagined or concieved of from my place of limited perception maybe I can dream bigger Maybe Just Maybe?

0

Oct 27, 2023

Oct 27, 2023 at 2:39 PM UTC

MMMM

maybe just maybe it can be different?

I walked on the streets of jerusalem looking at all the rainbow flags it was as if it was calling me calling me for my freedom sitting in the room alone alone for the first time in my life wow what a gift that is how challenging it felt all alone in a foreign country no support at all for it was the start of the covidjourney of my personal awakening back to myself I than started to allow all the questions i had kept inside of my soul for so long all about religion my self worth who i was how much I was worth what did I want to do with my life who am I I remember the first shabbat(sabbath) I broke it I threw my skirt away and wore pants for the first time I thought wow I feel naked and free And since than the journey has began 3.5 years have past and still am discovering myself who I truly am rediscovering so many things in another city all alone listening to israeli music crying sitting alone as the skies grow darker I wander who am I Am I a Jew Am I just merely a person maybe all the labels don't matter maybe all that I was taught my whole life was all lies maybe there is so much more to life than what I have ever imagined or concieved of from my place of limited perception maybe I can dream bigger Maybe Just Maybe?

60