#explanations
I see you
Laird of Tanera Mòr
shaded scotsman
misty on the dock
I hear your skirling pipes
threading salted air
silent sound which cuts
and tops each bouncing wave
music on the bridge
between the living and the grave
Oct 13, 2023
Oct 13, 2023 at 5:00 AM UTC
4 bricks in a line on the floor
in case someone dared to knock at this door
shadows underneath come and go
but it won't be me they get to know
10 bricks now for added protection
a sign reads "leave, please no affection"
comfort here in the shade
"go away i'm not here, leave" i prayed
20 bricks and counting to avoid the foreseen
I learnt how to build at the age of sixteen
this is not the first, i've been here three times
fallen head first for emotional crimes
and i wonder why i can't muster the trust
when consistence and kindness has been my gold dust
and always when I need them the most
I’ll run, I’ll hide and become like the ghost
all because the notion of security
has become somewhat of a peculiar obscurity
7 seconds to put up all the defences
and here I’ll sit with the everlasting consequences
crying out at my own reflection
“here we are, did it again, severed an incandescent connection”
how can I change when this has been all I know
this version of love had been taught long ago
if not filled with rage and sordid behaviour
cut all ties, sabotage, this can’t be my saviour
and the reason I feel like I need to be saved
is I’ve danced too long with the morally depraved
who treated me well with sweet degradation
and made me believe in self deprecation
so these walls, after all, are for me and not you
quietly hoping you have the tools to break through
May 5, 2022
May 5, 2022 at 6:11 AM UTC
Someone broke my best friend’s heart.
They’d been together throughout the entire lock-down.
And even though it looks like we’re entering a freer time,
he said it felt like she’d become part of the claustrophobia.
Explanations can snag on nerves like fishhooks.
Jul 29, 2021
Jul 29, 2021 at 8:21 AM UTC
What was I thinking,
I let you go,
I wasn't drinking, still
I let you go,
Where was my head at to
Let you go,
I can't accept that I just
Let you go.
I wish I could make
Amends,
So we could at least
Be friends,
I have no real
Reason why,
I let you
Say goodbye.
Did I confuse you when
I let you go,
Such a fool to have
Let you go,
You were so precious, still
I let you go,
Worth more than jewels, still
I let you go.
I wish we could
Start again,
I'd be quite
A different man,
I've learned quite a lot
Since then,
I know how
To keep a friend.
We could meet up in the
Centre of town,
And I'd explain my motivations,
About how I came
To let you down,
And all those other
Explanations,
And crazy complications.
I'm not asking for
Romance,
Just give me half
A chance,
I’ve come to have
A good, kind heart,
So how about
A brand new start.
What was I thinking,
I let you go,
I wasn't drinking, still
I let you go,
Where was my head at to
Let you go,
I can't accept that I just
Let you go.
Sep 3, 2015
Sep 3, 2015 at 2:57 AM UTC
I am not impressed by much yet fascinated quite often. I care for a lot but I also hardly ever care for much. I am not heart less, I feel everything deeply but I do not feel as much as I should. Sometimes I live and other days I exist. Some nights I want to party and others my bed is enough for me. Some days I feel like Prada and other days I don’t care for brands at all. Some nights I yearn for human affection but still I do not invest my time in anyone because most people simply just have potential that never amounts and leaves me disappointed.I am genuinely always happy yet my heart aches often. I am complex yet the simplest human being you’ll ever come across.
Jul 15, 2015
Jul 15, 2015 at 1:45 PM UTC
I can't even find Youtube videos that explain how you function.
May 20, 2015
May 20, 2015 at 4:22 PM UTC
You wanted to know why
I was destroying myself
But how do you explain
To someone who doesn't know
What it feels like
To have your thoughts
Tear you apart
Nov 30, 2014
Nov 30, 2014 at 12:36 AM UTC
I hate having to explain how I'm feeling
for its like explaining why I breathe
There is no simple way of putting it
I cannot construct the sentences that would satisfy you
All I can think of is why you care
and how in reality you don't care
So in the end, Im better off just saying I'm fine
rather than having to explain it all
May 21, 2014
May 21, 2014 at 10:26 PM UTC