#expect
Only when the guises of expectation are gone
Was I able to meet this tinge of ineffable confidant
Often ambushing behind the tune from days to places
Where self-gaze sails across something in and of itself.
Over the nuvole flies men in chaos off meaning loss
Wafted down detritus of love in strikes of turmoil.
Omens scudded before stunned, defying gravity
With nuanced remembrance of odor antidotes
Orienting my soul in shivering flux, astringent enough
When silence is not heard, nor eyes are met.
Words de-surfaced, drowning me dizzy.
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 10:16 AM UTC
He expects her everyday
longer than hope.
Sitting on benches,
leaving coffee cold.
Nov 21, 2024
Nov 21, 2024 at 1:22 PM UTC
It's those who burn
in the fire of separation
have come to learn
that in this desperation
true love lies
for the distance means nothing
if the hearts are intertwined.
Apr 24, 2024
Apr 24, 2024 at 10:50 AM UTC
I would've loved to meet her.
The sweetness you spoke in her honor.
A gentle breeze in a month of freezes.
Electric, connective, explorative.
I would love to meet the next.
The sweetest of peas.
Only bluest when being overly fruitful.
Reflections of trekking tower of the familial tree.
Expectations of expecting in introspect.
Forgive me for being greedy, wanting to be involved in your life.
Forgive me for involving my love.
I shall let the resting rest, the ones that need rest to get rested, and give my mind and soul a rest.
Ifeanyichuku Okoro © 2023
Nov 12, 2023
Nov 12, 2023 at 12:59 AM UTC
Memory in tension
with expectation
Which wins?
Which informs?
And why do we settle
for either?
Sep 9, 2021
Sep 9, 2021 at 8:13 AM UTC
I don't know how to say this
Do not want to break your heart
Want to be the person you wish I could be
We'd be better off apart
Where is this going?
Got to be able to tell
Noticing for awhile
Haven't been doing so well
I fought dozens of battles
Silently in mind
Kept them imprisoned
Less conflict confined
I should face problems
But I am a coward so I run
Hard to conquer an argument
You already believe you won
Maybe I am being harsh
I can only take so much
A relationship is supposed to be
More than people who touch
See sometimes feel a tingle
Think "this isn't so bad"
That itself means it is
To deny must be raving mad
The friction is obvious
Where do I draw the line?
I am stuck in an internal war
Between your emotions and mine
My hands might be lonely
When clasped something is amiss
As long as yours fills gaps between fingers
Nobody else can see if theirs fits
If being totally honest
Seems you don't really care about me
Tears drip out eyes all the time
You are too self-centered to see
Trying to build life back up
You are standing in my way
Making things harder than already are
Painting sky shades of grey
I am opening eyes to reality
Hope you do that too
We both need to stop lying to ourselves
We know it isn't true
I taste sorry on my tongue again
Taste regret on my lips
Obligation squeezes tighter
When you put arms around hips
Only now letting you know
How much feelings have changed
My head full of hope for a heavy heart Hung from noose was exchanged
I should have been forthcoming
Informed you was over as soon as I knew
I can't stand causing others pain
Why it took this long to say this to you
But sick of home not feeling like home
In own room feel out of place
You've transformed it to your own
Do not have a single private space
You are a tornado
In wake is a trail of destruction
Many flaws get in the way
About time I move obstruction
Your ego too big for me
To properly see around
In fact how do you even lift your head?
Must weigh a thousand pounds
Your conceited attitude more often than not
Provokes until seeing red
Arrogance unattractive
Try acting humble instead
I cannot picture a future with you
You are inconsiderate and dumb
No ambition or work ethic
Would rather be a ***
You take time with everything
Never met someone so slow
Put so much effort and see no results
Almost no progress to show
Without my aid what will you do?
How will you get high?
Depend on everybody else around you
If you desired you could get by
Lungs filled with poison
Bloodstream with *****
Need crutches to get through each day
Think these substances are helping
They really only get in the way
With only pride and standards
I will continue life in solitude
Better than being with someone who's naive
Not to mention selfish and rude
Consequences for actions
Finally caught up to where we are
Have tolerated a lot of ********
I've decided I'm raising the bar
My goal is to go further in my life
Than you plan to go
Hindering distance to travel
Making it challenging to grow
Soon you'll be left in the dust
Discovering I was right
Won't be able to use me as an excuse
For failure when I'm out of sight
You call me idiotic pet names
What I am in your contacts under is bold
McPoops?
Actually prefer "The *****
What are you? Six years old?
How many occasions have you pouted?
Sulking because you disagreed
With words said or things done?
I gave no choice but concede
I have every right to be unhappy
How can you not understand why?
May not always be reason for tears
You sure do not help them dry
Are you center of universe?
That is how you act
Helping yourself to anything viewed
You are entitled and that is a fact
I do not know if you do it on purpose
You disrespect everyone here
Using stuff but not asking
To rules you do not adhere
The only person I have ever met
Who is even lazier than me
Make messes faster than you clean up
Cannot handle responsibility
Not to mention you can't keep track
Of any possession you own
Or that you failed to pay back majority
Of money you have been loaned
Your expensive eating habits
And cockiness get on nerves
Believe you are correct about every subject
Isolation what you deserve
You break trust without hesitation
Snitching on me like a rat
If I plead with you to keep a secret
You can't even follow through with that
You probably think we are being mean
That you are misunderstood
If that's true then tell me this
What have you done that's good?
You disassemble stuff like a tweaker
Not putting back in one piece
Have given you so many chances
Still the madness won't cease
It is an eternal struggle
To even get you to barely move
Just procrastinate your life away
After promising to improve
Rather live in solitude
Than with a theif who lies
Took two CATs of my dad's
You thought he would not realize?
And when telling you something
You do not want to hear
Pretend to agree with statement
Goes out the other ear
You have to get your priorities straight
It's clear you never will
How are you expecting to survive
Without ambition
Sapience
Skill?
You expect others to carry your load
Piggybacking much as you can
The behavior of a little boy
How dare you call yourself a man
But when affecting your wallet
You are stingy as they come
Generosity is not in your vocabulary
Unless receiving some
Then have the audacity
To judge the way I live
Degrading me because of choices
After the ****** up **** I forgive
At least I do not blame my dependency
For why I'm unable to function
Worse still you put fault for your addiction
On pharmaceutical corruption
I have met plenty of people
Fed prescriptions as a child
Medicated whole **** life
Their abilities are not defiled
You envision the world to your favor
Instead of how it is for real
Perception the problem here
Delusion rooted in privilege you feel
You have a lot of growing up to do
Wish I would have waited
Gotten to know who you really are
Now I wish we never dated
Jul 29, 2021
Jul 29, 2021 at 11:25 AM UTC
Here you were thinking
Woww life is really great
When you have people that love you
When you have people that cherish you
When you have people that adore you
But what if, just what if thats all just in your mind
What if you made up this fantasy in your head
About everything you've ever wanted
And everything you've ever craved for
And told yourself that it exists
What if you play scenarios that happen in one way and interpret it in three ways
Multiplying the actual meaning of the scenarios
What if you give credit to a person for being themselves but themselves is a liar
What if no matter if that liar is a liar you're happy with it
As the fantasy in your head is unwilling to let go of the part that liar plays
But what if there's more than one liar
What if they're all liars
What if they've only told you what they wanted you to hear because you have high expectations of them
And they know this and you know this
So technically it's not their fault for being on the pedestals you've placed them on
It's not their fault that you're unwilling to accept the garbage of this world
It's not their fault that you keep fantasizing about a happy life with any and everyone that can adore you
What if, just what if you can actually find that someday?
What if you never find that
You're tired of actively searching for people to give you what you can give them
You're tired of being this woman that expects
And expects
And expects
Should you or could you maintain this fantasy without completely
And utterly falling apart
From shame, from pain from torment
Or should you just let it all go and just..
Just ....
-fir.m
Jan 24, 2021
Jan 24, 2021 at 5:44 AM UTC
existing in this land-sphere quite touch-and-go
when you stare for something that you hope to
when something expects to be with you
until you discern that you obtained neither
things are unreachable on your own limitation
useless is your own notion
to gain nothing is the best way out that you ever made
the excitement is just filled with none nothingness but the soreness
Nov 4, 2020
Nov 4, 2020 at 9:14 AM UTC
Pull me
Push me
Force me
And trap me
Build me
Create me
Destroy me
Lie to me
Wrap me
Seal me
Deliver me
And ship me
No matter how much
You try
No matter how much
It hurts
I will escape
Oct 18, 2020
Oct 18, 2020 at 6:44 AM UTC
Loving , praising and embracing oneself isn't hubris and selfish ,
rather , the best technique for keeping all those at bay who expect from others to stay under their feet.
Sep 26, 2020
Sep 26, 2020 at 10:08 PM UTC
Planning ahead of what to expect
Boom and busts with wave theories
where years pass by in seconds of time
Caught by the net of cause or effect
Have you questioned your existence
An individuals singular thought process
Serious intent forever or never in a room full of dust swept by a brush
Are you content with eventual death ergo does a sense of self really protect
May 9, 2020
May 9, 2020 at 9:19 AM UTC
I wish the end will be better
There is a chance if I push through,
Conditioned to happily ever after
I expect this will work out.
The God is a better writer
The ****** is stretching longer,
Soon things will fall right
There is an end to the night.
But as I open my eyes,
Nothing has changed
I have to repeat my belief
Believe that maybe
One more day to see
The end is coming
Let's do this again.
Wait when it begins
My real life movie
Is more than three hours long,
The drama won't die down
I should just switch off the TV
Wake up the next day and see
If I want to even read my book?
Apr 5, 2020
Apr 5, 2020 at 2:39 AM UTC
I expect you come
Please me to feel good yourself
Are you a giver?
Jan 27, 2020
Jan 27, 2020 at 12:13 PM UTC
You cannot be all the things I want you to be
How could I expect you to?
I cannot be them myself
Dec 21, 2019
Dec 21, 2019 at 5:30 AM UTC
Expect tears and pain
Nothing good is free of hurt
Appreciate scars
Dec 10, 2019
Dec 10, 2019 at 3:45 AM UTC
all the books
of all history
are all the same
why do you expect
something different ?
Sep 3, 2019
Sep 3, 2019 at 1:16 AM UTC
You got irritated with my boring talks,
Okay fine!
You got bored being in relationship with me,
Okay fine!
You want to live alone,
Okay fine!
You want to break up,
Okay fine!
But don't expect that I'll break up with you and live without you.
Yes I'll break up,
But I'll breakup with myself and
Die alone.
~your smiling queen :)
Aug 9, 2019
Aug 9, 2019 at 7:21 AM UTC
our weather patterns
aren't as they used to be
I have a feeling that someone
or something has altered their tee
twenty five years ago
I knew what to expect
in the delivery of the
weather's prospect
but these days I'm never
too sure
as to the attire I must wear
on leaving my front door
the variance in the weather
does vex me so
yet I cannot return to
the climes of the ago
I'm of the belief that the weather
will become more drastically out of whack
for there are forces unbalancing
its inconsistent back
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019 at 7:05 PM UTC
In the end,
she became more than she expected.
She became the journey,
a never ending journey.
For she did not end,
but simply changed directions
and kept going.
Jul 24, 2019
Jul 24, 2019 at 6:02 PM UTC
it's almost as if i'm too scared to love you
because i expect deep down you'll leave me
Jul 21, 2019
Jul 21, 2019 at 10:25 PM UTC
Didn't expect that life without you was going be so hard.
Yes I am lonely.
And I did not expect that lonelyness could be so hurtful.
May 3, 2019
May 3, 2019 at 10:48 AM UTC
I enjoy collecting evidence of God
rush of a feeling that it’s all going to happen soon
I’d be a liar if I didn’t fess up
your eyes helped show how soon
love the old songs, like em, don’t belong to none
not afraid, are you? implore on
for everything, expect expanses wide as nothing
just as it has always been, drift with this smoke ribbon
into the dream called now is all
Apr 19, 2019
Apr 19, 2019 at 4:04 PM UTC
Rubayiat Al Thurab (Verses of the Dust) - 61
BismillahIr RahmanIr Raheem
Not to eagerly expect hope who they are irrelevant
As none of them are undoubtedly worth able,
Of your valuable time or your genuine concern.
They are fond to their social customs and private rituals.
They are greedy and more self preserve towards themselves.
Therefore don't eagerly expect hope from them.
You wisely believe the unique path for yourself.
The unique path of your Beloved, Who is wisely your absolute existence,
Politely ignore everyone and everything,
Peacefully walk on your unique path of your Beloved!
Allah Khair..... Khairul Rabul Alameen Yah Arrahmanur Yah Raheem
Ummah Thurab - Badshah Khan.
©UT-BK 2019
Feb 24, 2019
Feb 24, 2019 at 12:46 PM UTC