#existing
A burning candle,
Burning to show it's alive.
So many audiences to handle,
Surviving is a job, 9 to 5.
Like a lonely flower
Getting so much rain.
Staircase never going up, too much plain.
Like a tea cup with a broken bottom,
A faded, worn-out folder.
Ashes float like cotton,
Unsent letters getting dusted.
Shattered bulb, long time blasted.
Life, silent eyes never lie,
Mouth which gets dry.
Each morning is a loss of the meaning of the word “try.”
Justice always hidden,
Where moonlight fades into painful sobs.
Sunshine never lands,
Where the curtain is bland,
Forced closed with a trembling hand .
Like a pair of tired eyes,
Where sleep is a hum.
Music makes thoughts dizzy and numb,
No dream to escape.
Close your sobs with tape.
Like a wooden mirror,
Which has no beauty to show.
Without sunshine, no longer glow.
A burden… stone forever unlifted.
No beauty, a bland mind,
A seeker of a little kind.
Existing is exhausting,
Where pain meets the sky.
Language of pain anxious to fly.
Apr 3
Apr 3, 2026 at 11:46 AM UTC
i kinda feel broken
no
i am broken
i can't
find the pieces
or the strength
to glue them back together
i am a stone
slowly worn
by the relentless current
of life
water is life, they say
in more ways than one,
apparently
when will life be finished with me
Mar 13
Mar 13, 2026 at 10:28 AM UTC
The worst part about it, is how it just appears.
You swear it hasn't hit, it's only November. That's too early.
But then, that one thing happens.
And that's when you feel it.
It's already there, embracing you like a hug from behind.
Oddly comfortable, and empty in an instant.
A loving warmth that quickly fades.
Then the range from indifference to sadness, sway, and mixes.
It's already here, you belong to it for now.
Dec 7, 2025
Dec 7, 2025 at 1:06 PM UTC
It never feels like it’s enough, the march of time, the ticking of my heart’s clock.
It feels like time is against me, like I’ve wasted what time I’ve spent.
Girlfriends, I’ve had a few.
I found a woman I could be happy with once or twice, but one moved away.
The other had never given us a chance.
I’ve wasted my education, having fun instead of trying hard - All because school was easy.
I spent my college days in drunk stupors lying to friends about where I had been, and waking up in strangers beds.
Lies upon lies, growing up too late.
Now here I am.
Sad, and alone.
Living at home, no prospects of my own.
Little overweight, high every night and every day.
All to have some feeling of pleasure. - Of happiness.
Writing poetry **** something I ******* detest.
But god **** it, what I wouldn’t give to find love and be held by a woman’s warmth.
Nov 27, 2025
Nov 27, 2025 at 10:46 AM UTC
They laugh, hands brushing hands,
Eyes meeting where I am not.
I sit in the empty space between them,
A shadow stretched thin,
Echoing nothing.
I reach,
But my voice curls back,
Ignored, untouched,
A ghost at the edges of their warmth.
I am here.
And yet, I am not.
Nov 10, 2025
Nov 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM UTC
I am Looking for myself in this vastness
Looking for my soul in this thickness
Looking for a meaning in this meaninglessness
Looking for you but I can't find me
Looking for myself but I can't find it,
very few of love is actually what we're looking for,
Very few of tenderness
Very few of you
Nobody knows what the truth is
Very few of know what we are truly looking for,
Oct 23, 2025
Oct 23, 2025 at 5:22 AM UTC
Darkness
Behind the frenzy of daybreak
Lies sadness
Behind the darkest sadness
Lies loneliness
Behind loneliness is to walk the empty mile
Oct 18, 2025
Oct 18, 2025 at 7:00 AM UTC
1.) Death comes for us all eventually.
2.) Having what is commonly referred too as "Humanity" is what truly sets us apart from the animals.
3.) All people deserve a bare minimum level of respect that is granted to them by virtue of being human themselves. Nothing more, nothing less until their actions prove wanting.
4.) Those who refuse to learn, stagnate and die. Thus is modern day evolution.
5.) Anything that invalidates the free will granted to oneself is evil, no matter what other evils may be prevented.
6.) Your life does not belong to you alone. Though you are its master, you do not have full ownership of it.
7.) Nothing should ever come before "Humanity". We are all people first. Gender, creed, ideologies, race, nationality. All of it is worthless compared to "Humanity"
Oct 1, 2025
Oct 1, 2025 at 12:33 PM UTC
It’s hot as Hell, this summer day,
as I sit in the back of an open trunk,
on the side of the road,
waiting for a familiar face to remove a flat.
I listen to the birds as they chirp, and do my best to tune out the screams of cicadas
- I get it you stupid bug, it hot, just go extinct already.
I hold my breathe as each car goes by,
and breath in deeply to capture the fleeting rush of cold breeze,
filling my lungs as it washes over me.
It’s days like this I never miss,
I can’t stand the heat, it makes me sick.
But nevertheless, I found that this horrid heat,
brings a certain mind quieting bliss.
Sep 29, 2025
Sep 29, 2025 at 11:31 AM UTC
What can I say?
I’ve been in love with a girl since I met her,
But it will always be, one-sided.
That’s just life I suppose,
I can’t, nor would I change her.
For I fell in love with the her, that isn’t capable of falling for me.
Sep 26, 2025
Sep 26, 2025 at 4:51 PM UTC
I woke up late today… 16 alarms couldn't disrupt my peace.
I now sit out, eat my breakfast and enjoy my tea. September's Breath, a gentle comfort as it rustles the tree tops.
My phone remains in its pocket, as I watch the pine tree's branches sway.
As the lowest layer of clouds in the sky rush by, and I allow my mind to float upon the sounds of chipmunk, squirrels, and birds.
I slide down in my chair, embracing the symphony, and watch the sky.
The first memory that pops in my head was how many years ago, when I broke my foot as a child. I had been playing with the dogs, and an ill timed Ottoman caught my foot with its edge.
Broke my baby toe at the knuckle, and where it connects to my foot. Never processed so much pain before, at least until whatever pain took its place.
I don't remember much from that time, but I remember watching the 1980's Transformers movie until the DVD couldn't be read anymore, as I slept on the couch.
I remember fake friends using the fact I couldn't go outside because of the snow, to l stay in and play computer games, specifically with me.
It's hard to describe faded memories, but what a truly miserable time that was…
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 2:35 PM UTC
I enjoy people watching,
Seeing them go about their lives,
lives that are less mundane than mine.
No perversions or thoughts of sinful taint,
Just curiosity, to see a sight different than my own.
Maybe that curiosity is sinful,
A ********** in its own right.
A desire for something different than my own.
Sep 21, 2025
Sep 21, 2025 at 12:44 PM UTC
The purpose of living has always been up for debate.
It’s always been humans making use of their lives
to ponder the reasons why we’re alive at all.
It’s always about knowing
the “why” and the “how,”
in the process failing to
see the “should” and the “will.”
It’s easy for us to agree that
the world is a canvas;
malleable and flexible,
blank and waiting—yet
we’re so desperate to find an answer to our reality
that we forget that
there’s more to existing than clawing at
infertile soil and dormant seeds, more than
painting our own rain and sunshine, more than sobbing
on our knees to marble and gold.
It’s ironic when you think about it,
there’s not much more to life
than going through the motions
and yet
there’s so much more to life
than just existing. They always say
that there’s a difference between living
and existing,
but when was the last time anyone actually stopped to realise it?
Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 10:53 AM UTC
When the world grows
too loud or too fast,
it’s a good idea
to take a step back
and huddle away
into an empty space
where neither sound
nor time
can hurt you,
let silence envelop
your soul—not your self.
Eventually
the grass will grow
and the wind will settle,
all will slow
like in a lush meadow,
and far away
will the struggle drift.
The sky will grow white
with clouds that never rain,
gardens will grow green
without a single ****
the sun will beat down
not bullets but care,
that nurtures the grass blades
through growth
and lifts the vapour into
the air.
Dimensions and galaxies will
pause,
for the universe cannot
feed.
And all will be.
Jul 6, 2025
Jul 6, 2025 at 1:33 AM UTC
Our final steps
are never meant to be
one step on the moon
or a leap for mankind.
It was your memory,
intangible.
metaphysically physical
synaptically existing.
My mother's
mothering
mother, Bernice.
or
A lover's
loving
love, Helena.
or
Writer's
writing
wrote, poems.
Apr 10, 2025
Apr 10, 2025 at 5:53 AM UTC
I refused to let you go
I know that if I did
You'd be gone forever
But you promised
Always and Forever
And I don't want a life
Where promises didn't exist
Apr 9, 2025
Apr 9, 2025 at 8:45 AM UTC
If only I could fly
Above the clouds
In the sky
No rain or storm to stop me
Just one goal to be
Existing
It’s the most important thing
Trusting on the feathers of my wing
They take me to the end of the rainbow
North, East, South, West
High or low
I’ll have to cross a thousand seas
To show what its worth
And achieve
Existence
Jan 14, 2025
Jan 14, 2025 at 5:52 PM UTC
I want to live,
Not just exist,
Is what most people say.
But I want to exist,
Not be alive,
I’m just surviving each day.
Dec 27, 2024
Dec 27, 2024 at 2:18 PM UTC
I wish for someone to love me
in the way I love my cat.
That they’d spot me across the room and
rush upstairs for their camera.
Eager to capture the moment,
obsessed with me even as I’m
simply
existing.
Oct 27, 2024
Oct 27, 2024 at 10:06 PM UTC
I sit exhausted every night
Not a single off day in my sights
Working as I wake up, and until I dose off
So busy, my dehydration is discovered by a dry cough
To busy to eat, yet too hungry to carry on
Taking even a little break causes progress to be gone
Disappeared are the days of weekends being a reprieve
As I wipe the tears and carry on by rolling up my sleeves
Some call it growing up, others call it existing
Here I am throwing up, unware of how exhausting
this all truly is
The human body was made for pressure, yet I cannot reassure
If I am tired out of hard work, or hardly getting things to work
The weapons must have succeeded, the attacks seem to have landed
Stuck in this workflow I feel stranded, and yet life has still demanded
I wake up and smile, and sleep with the same expression
Is this depression, a lesson, or a trial for heaven?
Sitting down is wasting time, and working with no success is just as worse
Is this a challenge set before me, or some invisible curse
Time and time again, clocking in and clocking out
I sit still, letting it boil, as all I want to do is shout
Apr 23, 2024
Apr 23, 2024 at 2:25 PM UTC
Blood is the only story I can tell.
For a fragile and damaged brain gives no cure,
and either chooses chaos or new birth.
My soul was the only currency I could sell.
Now I am empty and unleash the monster within.
So, deeply, I fell in love with slashes of red.
I gave no mind to life or death and thus
laid my wrath to carnage, sinning again and again.
And by my mirth, released the hungry wolves.
I was exulted at the sight of them.
After, I traveled to the brink of Hell’s chasm.
Staring into the pit black as obsidian, I jumped.
Torment and misery had been my only companions
and in the face of great heretics, I was welcomed home.
I was born from sin and so stained from the beginning.
Oct 24, 2023
Oct 24, 2023 at 10:46 AM UTC
A funeral is my mind.
Where former lovers
and silver-tongued liars
attend their wake.
I spare no life when I can take.
An invitation from God
is what you’d need to depart.
But there is no God to be found here,
only your grievances and faults.
Stand steadfast and ready,
my reviled lovers and liars.
You’re in my dark abyss now
and you’ve taken your final bow.
Your procession has arrived.
Oct 24, 2023
Oct 24, 2023 at 10:38 AM UTC
We all broke our rules for someone unkind,
Lust and pretty words can make you blind.
Sometimes echoes of past mistakes will slip beyond the dark line,
Do not cling to old memories while making new ones this time.
Begin to trust that your instincts will guide you true,
Decide to choose yourself instead of letting others choose you.
Oct 24, 2023
Oct 24, 2023 at 10:23 AM UTC