#exgf
I often say that you can never truly know who a person is, no matter how long you know them.
The people we are, or who we were,
Are not the same as the people we become.
I have known my best friend for 13 years, and she is a constant in my life. This woman I know.
I know how kind she can be, or when things bother her- even if she hasn't said it aloud.
I know how we laugh together, at stupid things, and stupid people.
I know she loves me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This other woman, the one I loved however...
After three years,
YOU are finally showing your true colours.
I do not know you, but did not claim to know you ever.
You told me who you were,
And who you wanted to become.
I loved you for all of you. The person you were, the person you are and the person you could be.
Even though, I did not fully know you.
I supported you when you had no one, I inspired you when you felt hopeless.
I helped you to see the light, when I suffered in the dark.
I gave to you, before I gave to myself, always.
They say love is blind, it is true; I loved you.
But to YOU,
I was only an infatuation, that suited you well at the time.
You took and took, and would tell me daily how it was not enough.
You dwelled on negativity and losses, never making it easy to see the light when I needed it.
You leaned on me and shed your worries, as I gained more, helpless.
You relied on me to solve everything, like a child looks to their mother.
You wanted and wanted, so I gave and gave. You took and thought nothing of it.
It was never enough.
I began to see your ways, and still I could not refuse you.
I hoped you were becoming the person you said you wanted to become.
I hoped I was making a positive difference in your life.
I was wrong; I enabled you.
I let you take advantage of me, until I had nothing to give to myself.
That has ended. With that end, came so many more.
You are not my lover, nor ever will be again. You are not my solitude, you were only confinement.
You are not the one who brings me joy, only aggravation.
You are not my friend, and you never were.
You are the woman who has two faces.
One face is shown when a person is of use to you. The other face is shown when they're no longer useful.
YOU will never know true happiness, only the facade you create.
You may have caused me pain, but you have taught me.
I may have fallen, but now I rise.
Oct 25, 2018
Oct 25, 2018 at 12:38 PM UTC
I'm faced with realities,
that were only known,
as concepts.
Stuck in this state;
a combination of fascination,
mourning and inner chaos.
After a decade and a half,
of abusing those three words,
the real thing appears.
I don't recognize it's face,
nothing about it seems familiar.
I've been broken, for so long -
did I ever know what love is?
Is it wanting happiness for her,
even if it means without me?
Is it hoping someone can heal,
the damage I've caused her?
A month of absence,
and she is still my focus.
Accepted or not,
the truth has arrived.
I wish it could have been different.
I wish that I could still hold her,
and tell her softly, that,
I still love her.
I will always love her,
even now,
as I let her go.
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:25 PM UTC
Hey honey
Isn't it funny
How lost you were
Not for me, not for her
On a whim
Just for him
May 11, 2014
May 11, 2014 at 12:04 PM UTC
Luscious western wind comes daily to kalamazoo
She told me she was my mistress
I took it as all kool
Kool wave rider
In his older years
Still got it mamaa
Jun 20, 2015
Jun 20, 2015 at 1:58 PM UTC
Once upon a time I would have given you the world
Would have sailed the seven seas to tear the north star from the sky
Once upon a time I'd steal the fire from the gods
Just to keep you warm in the frozen morning so you could stay with me
Because once upon a time
I thought you were the one and
Once upon a time you were my center
But slowly over time I see
The monster you've become and I
Resent the fact we ever coexisted
Now it's all gone
The love I had, the flame inside
The way your gaze lit up my life
It's all gone, your once proud name
Poisoned, and burning away with the blaze
I would say that I want you to die, but in truth
I just can't seem to care
I should feel betrayed at your lack of faithfulness
But really, I'm just glad you're not here
By all means, be free from me
Keep my shirts and keep your money
Forget all of the memories
Of you, and me, and this travesty
Go find someone else to be your dad and
Go find someone else to raise your kid
Go find someone else's soul to desecrate
Infect them with madness, pollute them with hate
Go sink your fangs in someone else and
Fill them with your lies
You used to be the woman I loved, but now
You're just some ***** I despise.
Oct 7, 2014
Oct 7, 2014 at 2:20 PM UTC