#excel
It's night time again , I'm left alone with my thoughts .
It's night time again , it all starts coming back to me .
Felt suffocated inside , came outside feeling overwhelmed, I can't see I can't think , it's insane .
The movies skipped this part , they skipped the blood and the pain , they skipped the rejection and fatigue , they dashed to the happy ending slowing down mine .
Do you really know who I am ? Do you know my name? Can you say my name whilst knowing me .. or do you just say it as a necessity .
Even in my dreams I'm suffocated ..the one time I take a breath of fresh air , a million accidents follow .
God !!I try to breathe , but each breath I take hurts more than the last .
"That's the last time , I'm better now , it won't hurt anymore" lies I tell myself , lying to yourself to convince yourself is pathetic . I'm pathetic.
Why does it hurt so much to breathe ? When will it stop ? Each night passes I look forward to the day the breathing stops , but at what cost ? My breath seizes but sadness befalls those who care ..
My eyes close to never be red and soaked again but their eye rims overflow with tears shed and unshed .
How can a girl feel so much yet so little ? How can one acquire such bags of sadness that increases each step I take ? .
I must have been a ***** in the life before , this must be my eternal damnation, it's all a sick joke .
Rubber slaps my wrist but yet I can't quite make that twist .
What's it gonna take to make that twist ? What's it gonna take to break this curse ? .. what's it gonna take to lose this breath ? Without bringing tears to the eyes of those who are cursed to love me ? .
Maybe you did something in your life before too , your curse came as me .. mine is eternal damnation , yours is sadness for you love the ****** one .
If only somebody ,anybody knows my name while knowing me ! If only while I drowned somebody could actually yell my name , perhaps I wouldn't be gasping for this hurtful air .. perhaps I wouldn't be crying for the breath that hurts me so .
It's funny you know .. " A man or a bear ? " they ask me ..
How about " A woman and air ?" What's she to pick ? The one that hurts her .. or the very cause of her sorrows ?
What's she to choose ? Oh how big these responsibilities are but what truly are they ? She doesn't know ! But she feels the pain and is tagged as dramatic !
" Your life's not a movie !!" They say ..
" You cannot always be a victim" they say ,
" Grow up ! You are not a child ! Be mature"
And I stand and wish that I actually saw my life as a movie , then the pain wouldn't feel so real , and the blood wouldn't feel so hot as it dripped , if only my life were a movie , I would have written my happy ending .
So you were wrong , but if perhaps you were right .. then this movie hurts and burns , change it to the next one please .
I'm immature ? maturity would break me , it would **** me with a smile .
Adulthood that I am not yet ready to face , so yes I'm immature and childish , that's the only string connecting me to life .
Come home to my family and oh how they love ... Yet I can't reciprocate , " you can reciprocate by making us proud ! Excel at school as always " .
How do I explain ? How do I explain the change? How do I explain that it's killing me slowly but surely , how do I explain that In order to excel I lose a bit of myself every single day ! But it's not enough , how much more do I have to lose before I breathe ? Is it until there's nothing left ? I'll bet ! .
Then I'd finally excel , with my last painful breath.
Aug 25, 2025
Aug 25, 2025 at 8:55 AM UTC
What does excellence look like? I’m staring at it here today,
Being excellent isn’t just an act, but can be used in what we say,
It’s displayed in our ability to strive for merit in all we do,
It’s shown by pursuing our dreams until they do come true,
It’s not just about good grades, and being the star of the team,
Excellence is guided by our vision, to make our realities seen,
It’s well beyond what’s measured on our standard scale of feat,
Excellence is defined by our persistence even when we face defeat,
It’s shown by how we live our lives, and in the choices that we make,
Excellence is shown in our efforts, and in the risks that we take,
So stay focused on your task, and in everything you will do well,
Not just today, not just tomorrow, but every day you will excel!
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 12:41 PM UTC
I am not micro soft
I have full access
to excel
as a publisher
My outlook
does not sway
I am a hot male
Let's interconnect
Paint a picture
from my visual studio
It's in the works
do you see my power point?
I have more than one drive
There are teams of forums
that share one note
inside my power shell
Time to connect
at the edge
I azure you
Lets groove to the music
WORD!
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 10:40 AM UTC
Where to go and See the Moon from the Highest Place?
Now, an Opportunity of Sight
A Window... Designed
to clear that which has Plagued me for Centuries...
Invasion of Tresspassing...
No Longer a Comedian for the Show
I do My own Witnessing from above.
Heaven on High, Strings Playing..
this Strategy belongs to GOD..
Written as a quartet of Good.
The Plan is made...
Opportunity of the senses to Excel and Love
Only now do I place my cards of Faith upon the Table
It is up to the WILL to execute..
Made for Heaven
I am on God's TEAM!!! JOY!!!
Freed from a Harness Heavy upon the Soul
Named God's Playfulness!!
an Angel impressed within the Snow
Joys unexpected Gratitude!!
Sparkling Wonder!! for All Life!!
Freed!
for Love Knows No Greater Boundary
Than a restriction, upon its own Goodness
Celebration Astronaut!
Heavenly Rose of Light Upon the Earth..
We leave tonight!! an Offering of Life
Carried by North's Way..
Heaven Sent Messenger...
Letter....Stamped, Posted, and Approved!!!
Celebration Starlight!!
Sleigh ride for an Astronaut!!
Viewing Station.. God's Wondrous Ring
of Light upon the Earth
For who could See Heavens Light from any other Place?
This Glorious Symphony of Gratitude
Designed to see the World for its Blessing
LIFE crowned Beloved Caring...
Kindness of a Mothers Love..
Blessing of a Childs Heart.
Dec 21, 2015
Dec 21, 2015 at 11:39 AM UTC
You are invited as our guest
This is saying welcome at our request
Examine the feeling of words from the ceiling to the hall
Notice how inspiration, understanding and persuasion stand tall
They are the concept within our introduction
A Poet’s creation being a seduction
Let’s explore follow me on the floor
Once we turn the corner we will be at the word sure
As we walk the halls, please notice poet’s faces
If you look closely you will see masterpiece traces
As a poet, it is the meaning with the rhyme
When you write poetry, please keep that in mine
Poetry Plaza built on poetry thoughts
You talked and we listened
Notice how the words begin and how they seem to gleam in
As we take the elevator down
We covered an array of poetry that was hanging around
Well thank you for taking the Poetry Plaza escorted tour
You now know what a poet writes for
I am just so glad you were able to explore
Continue to write in how you feel and turning your creativity in being for real.
Mar 29, 2014
Mar 29, 2014 at 5:25 PM UTC