#exasperated
The apparitions cackle-
At last, exasperated crackles
That boon expiration
Aug 10, 2023
Aug 10, 2023 at 1:28 PM UTC
- [x] Denial: i ran to the ends of the earth to get some answers. Death was the only response I received. No! That didn’t happen! Leave me alone!
- [x] Anger: why am I cursing your name in these recycling bins? I hate you with all my being! I’m so glad I don’t have to see you. I hope you rot like a corpse in the dying cemetery.
- [x] Bargaining: please, I’ll stop wining if I get her back. I won’t complain anymore; I won’t dare act put out. I’ll respond to her old texts or emails or whatever. I’ll do anything...
- [x] Depression: my bones are aching. I can’t hold myself upright. In fact- I hate myself. I gag watching my reflection in the mirror. If you stopped liking me, who can love me now? I used to admire the ripples in the stream, but now I punch the water and cry until my hands are pruny. It’s not healthy, but I’m hopeless and nothing can fix me.
- [ ] Acceptance: yesterday I thought of you and I didn’t frown. I smiled bittersweetly, cause you are gone still, but it’s over. You were a fabulous friend for all those years. I won’t forget that. I’ll let go of the sorrow and the years we spent together. I’ll walk the way of the weather vane and dry my tears in the light of the sun. Thank you for the moments and goodbye my old solider.
Dec 27, 2021
Dec 27, 2021 at 6:26 PM UTC
'Is everything ok?'
What is ok?
'Haven't killed myself yet, have I?'
Jan 16, 2019
Jan 16, 2019 at 6:41 AM UTC
Have you ever
crumpled beneath
the weight of
your own hands?
have you felt your
skin crawl
at the thought
of your own
solitude?
ashamed
as if things
like this do not happen
to people like you
apologies
as if
the burden laid not
on your own shoulders.
yet the diaphragm
of those who tell you
"it will be okay"
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 1:09 AM UTC
It's the exasperation I float on
the way I take a deep breath in
through flared nostrils
after a tiresome sigh
as the sour and almost
sweaty air fills my lungs
I am lifted
head above the water
barely staying afloat
day after day
week after week
year after year
maybe it's time I went under
Dec 12, 2016
Dec 12, 2016 at 8:27 AM UTC
I stare at the ceiling
A heavy sigh escapes
Exhausted
Languish
Tired
Maybe i'll take a rest
And remove my capes
I already did my best
I'll let some of my thoughts escape
and let them cool for a while
They're all already in a pile
Once I come back
I hope I can fill what you lack
but maybe it's all just about acceptance
and not about changing appearance
I also need to clear my mind
my eyes have always been blind
when it comes to my own mistakes
because I don't have what it takes
to be somebody they want me to be
So till then, we'll see
Goodbye for now
Good luck, somehow
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 12:15 PM UTC