#evangelion
Someone once asked me if it was worth saving the world from destruction.
I told them no, and they asked me why.
"It seems easier to remove the middle man."
The middleman, they asked?
"Yes, the middleman."
"If the end result of life is death, then life itself is just a false reality.
What matters most isn't the journey; its the speed to the destination.
If we're all here to reach an end-product of eventually becoming deceased...
Then why delay it any longer?"
In horror, my companion refuted me.
"That's true, but really, the only thing holding us back, is just a couple of
chemicals that tell us not to die. If those were gone, would we genuinely hold
back as a species?"
They told me the social ramifications of such a reality, where everyone would
reinforce that nature socially as a taboo.
"But then, you're just ignoring the question you posed! If the point is I have
the option to deny the world rebirth, and have them move on to where we would
go after life ceases, then I'd do it. Just end the facade."
Needless to say, I was true to my word, through and through.
Nov 26, 2017
Nov 26, 2017 at 4:26 PM UTC
I just woke from experiencing what it felt to be free
of a doctrine, of this overlying immense pressure to be righteous and respectful,
that which I've inherited from my own expectations and from those of whom I admire.
I had been touched by something even bigger than my own self perseverance-
than my connections between "the wise,"
than my science that I hold so dear.
It's almost indescribable- so bear with me
as I dig through my consciousness for a dream that could just be a great answer to our confusions.
I felt myself sifting through a softened solid
that was smooth and sunset-hued.
It stretched around me but went through me all the same.
It was warm but refreshing.
It cleared away the dichotomies, the questions, the labels into a vast spaciousness that couldn't ever make me feel loneliness because in this clear space,
there was you.
In a raw form- without explanations, without excuses, without fear,
without the taste of another on your lips,
without the pressure to exist.
Just you, and your experience floating around and through you,
in the most beautiful colors I've ever seen you don.
It was just you, and it was just me,
in soft solids of insight.
When I stepped forward, I saw your life around you,
not my interpretation riddled with negative and positive energies,
but the sights and sounds that created an indefinite understanding.
With the sunsets swimming around them.
As I got closer I began to notice my own life,
spirits of the past grazing my skin gently
and gingerly.
And when we finally were face to face,
in what might be nano-seconds
our eyes were not expectations but one,
our lips were not provocations but one,
our bodies were not vehicles but one.
And it felt comfortably fluid as we walked together in something I can only liken to acceptance.
It was fleeting, however.
I was pulled out of this by the hands of 3 AM on a Tuesday, my disappearing fever,
and desire to relieve myself from all of the water I consumed before bedtime.
The lingering feeling of insight and acceptance urged me to write,
and expel the overwhelming emotion of wishing I never woke up.
I couldn't stop sobbing
and I hadn't a clue why.
I guess it was because in this dream
I came to know
the world is crumbling around us
and all we can see are the demands and the means to be something other than oneness.
We choose be chained by these requirements,
because living in this world is not the safety of the amniotic sac that we leave behind in the past.
We should know that we could relive that every time we create something we strongly believe doesn't have to last.
I'm not sure who I've lost,
or what I've found-
but I can hope
it's knowing that we may not ever precisely touch what love is despite how much we try to render it through words
and actions,
a definitive language that gives us its tangibility.
But it can touch us.
It can touch us into being one again,
if we put our lives on pause,
It can touch us if we let it.
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 1:08 PM UTC
*Minuscule ants make a flightless
beeline along a sandbox perimeter.
In their wake, a few grains of sand
Fall out of their confining place.
One day, perhaps, they shall be free,
back to a convivial reunion by the sea.
One could traverse the length and depth and breadth of this and back and still have more to ponder on and discover!
But as the grains within that pit
outnumber the billions alive today;
only stars of night can reflect their gaze.*
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Dec 18, 2015
Dec 18, 2015 at 3:25 AM UTC