#eupd - Hello Poetry

Lump sitting in my throat as I feel it close, Realizing I have a lot to let go... Swallow whole and let them tears roll. As I sit alone with all my faults, The suffering is all my fault. Despair came to take my soul. I will always destroy, Letting the fire of connection go into remission. Emotionally weak, Searching for external validation. Only to send others needing a permanent vacation. Too much baggage, They got to carry they're own. Hold it together, don't overload. Guess I know whats best, Let my love rest. I will never be like the rest. Stay in my nest, Alone and depressed. To let my sun shine at her best...

0

Apr 11

Apr 11, 2026 at 7:58 PM UTC

PuffinBuddaha

Love Hard

Lump sitting in my throat as I feel it close, Realizing I have a lot to let go... Swallow whole and let them tears roll. As I sit alone with all my faults, The suffering is all my fault. Despair came to take my soul. I will always destroy, Letting the fire of connection go into remission. Emotionally weak, Searching for external validation. Only to send others needing a permanent vacation. Too much baggage, They got to carry they're own. Hold it together, don't overload. Guess I know whats best, Let my love rest. I will never be like the rest. Stay in my nest, Alone and depressed. To let my sun shine at her best...

20

It just happened again I said I should finally make it stop I let it happened Now i look up into the mirror All I see is how dead I am My hands are shaking I then pull out a bottle To calm my self Drank it Numbed up Calm my nerves Splash my face with water Like water to a dying plant So I walk out the bathroom I walk as people looking at me But I go outside cause I need air I look up to see faces looking much happier Alive looking I sit down where there is a space I feel sick I put my hand into my pockets Holding a packet of **** Sparking my ligher in my pockets I start bouncing my legs Letting my hands dance The deep crushing pain I put my hand onto my heart I grip as it feels like my heart is bleeding My soul melting cause it kinda feel dead My eye start to feel like there will cry I hear someone saying Nick NICK You cool I look up to someone Someone I am hiding this to I mean I hiding to everyone I say Yeah People start asking you got gum I give it out cause I rather be the gum kid then kid that got ***** My abuser looks at me I fake myself I put on different side of me Then I rush to the toilet Threw up but there only sound and action in the air Nothing came out I sit there thinking The way I gave up My eye wetten I grip on to air I grasp for air As I feel my soul dying My brain deadly My heart gone I feel the floor Rotting inside my Body

0

Mar 9

Mar 9, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC

Nicky_sticky

Trauma

It just happened again I said I should finally make it stop I let it happened Now i look up into the mirror All I see is how dead I am My hands are shaking I then pull out a bottle To calm my self Drank it Numbed up Calm my nerves Splash my face with water Like water to a dying plant So I walk out the bathroom I walk as people looking at me But I go outside cause I need air I look up to see faces looking much happier Alive looking I sit down where there is a space I feel sick I put my hand into my pockets Holding a packet of **** Sparking my ligher in my pockets I start bouncing my legs Letting my hands dance The deep crushing pain I put my hand onto my heart I grip as it feels like my heart is bleeding My soul melting cause it kinda feel dead My eye start to feel like there will cry I hear someone saying Nick NICK You cool I look up to someone Someone I am hiding this to I mean I hiding to everyone I say Yeah People start asking you got gum I give it out cause I rather be the gum kid then kid that got ***** My abuser looks at me I fake myself I put on different side of me Then I rush to the toilet Threw up but there only sound and action in the air Nothing came out I sit there thinking The way I gave up My eye wetten I grip on to air I grasp for air As I feel my soul dying My brain deadly My heart gone I feel the floor Rotting inside my Body

64

In the morning The sky Is so beautiful. The wind sways the trees And urges me to dance. The sun's rays Shine with clarity And the birds' songs Invite the light. I am at peace. So.. I can be. But, Sometimes... Swiftly... Do you hear it? There's a whispering... Don't listen. It's a trap. There's no way. There's no chance. There it is again, That fear. The storm - Here it comes. Buckle down. Id better hide. Quick, try. Before it sweeps Me up too high... But it's got my mind. It's here. Strong and loud, This time. And not slowly, but Instantly, It Sweeps, Me, Up. I am thrown in. I am lost within A black space With no boundary. I can't find the edge. And I've forgotten, How, To function. I scream. I collapse. I cry. I destroy. I despise Every bit of myself. And, still I can't find The way out of here. The storm - It thrusts And sways. Unsettles And circulates. Until it Can no longer Keep up With demands. The perpetual motion Slows down, And the winds Begin to calm. But the black Smokey fog Doesn't leave... The dust begins to settle On top packages Of self doubt, Shame, Guilt, And worthlessness. Then without warning Gravity pulls me Back Into my body. And in silence, I am left, Sifting through What remains of me... Shattered sorrow Tired eyes, and No light that I can see. ... I am so angry Because The sky Was so beautiful today. And so was I. But I wasn't bigger Than the storm. Not this time. • Mica Light •

0

Oct 2, 2021

Oct 2, 2021 at 1:47 AM UTC

micalight

Borderline

In the morning The sky Is so beautiful. The wind sways the trees And urges me to dance. The sun's rays Shine with clarity And the birds' songs Invite the light. I am at peace. So.. I can be. But, Sometimes... Swiftly... Do you hear it? There's a whispering... Don't listen. It's a trap. There's no way. There's no chance. There it is again, That fear. The storm - Here it comes. Buckle down. Id better hide. Quick, try. Before it sweeps Me up too high... But it's got my mind. It's here. Strong and loud, This time. And not slowly, but Instantly, It Sweeps, Me, Up. I am thrown in. I am lost within A black space With no boundary. I can't find the edge. And I've forgotten, How, To function. I scream. I collapse. I cry. I destroy. I despise Every bit of myself. And, still I can't find The way out of here. The storm - It thrusts And sways. Unsettles And circulates. Until it Can no longer Keep up With demands. The perpetual motion Slows down, And the winds Begin to calm. But the black Smokey fog Doesn't leave... The dust begins to settle On top packages Of self doubt, Shame, Guilt, And worthlessness. Then without warning Gravity pulls me Back Into my body. And in silence, I am left, Sifting through What remains of me... Shattered sorrow Tired eyes, and No light that I can see. ... I am so angry Because The sky Was so beautiful today. And so was I. But I wasn't bigger Than the storm. Not this time. • Mica Light •

102

thoughts just slip away suddenly the whole world around me is spinning and i’m stuck behind an invisible glass pane i look down at hands that are now no longer my own lights are blinding, voices overwhelming demanding and persecutory everybody hates me, i need to hurt myself time is somehow suspended? i can’t control it screaming but nobody can hear me i know that they’re all out to get me running- not sure where apparitions of the future i’m dying the darkness engulfs

0

Aug 23, 2020

Aug 23, 2020 at 6:04 AM UTC

oibind

dreamin'

thoughts just slip away suddenly the whole world around me is spinning and i’m stuck behind an invisible glass pane i look down at hands that are now no longer my own lights are blinding, voices overwhelming demanding and persecutory everybody hates me, i need to hurt myself time is somehow suspended? i can’t control it screaming but nobody can hear me i know that they’re all out to get me running- not sure where apparitions of the future i’m dying the darkness engulfs

15

I can love you & hate you, All at the very same time, I can need & yet reject you, I’m balancing on the borderline. I can blame you & bad mouth you, I can make you feel, I don’t care, If only I could explain to you How much I need you there. I’m balancing on the borderline With no safety net below I’m like a ticking time bomb Not knowing when I might blow. I’m loving & argumentative I’m cruel & yet I’m kind I’m childish & mature I’m balancing on the borderline. I can chop & change my mind Quicker than the weather I’m like a mound of clay You can mould me into whatever. Take my life into your hands I’ll let you create what I should be I’ll be whatever you want Just please don’t leave me be.

0

Nov 10, 2017

Nov 10, 2017 at 2:19 AM UTC

Writing2recover

Balancing On The Borderline

I can love you & hate you, All at the very same time, I can need & yet reject you, I’m balancing on the borderline. I can blame you & bad mouth you, I can make you feel, I don’t care, If only I could explain to you How much I need you there. I’m balancing on the borderline With no safety net below I’m like a ticking time bomb Not knowing when I might blow. I’m loving & argumentative I’m cruel & yet I’m kind I’m childish & mature I’m balancing on the borderline. I can chop & change my mind Quicker than the weather I’m like a mound of clay You can mould me into whatever. Take my life into your hands I’ll let you create what I should be I’ll be whatever you want Just please don’t leave me be.

24