#eternalsunshineofthespotlessmind
I want to show you off,
Even though you're not real,
Even though what we have is a spoof,
I want the world to know that i can feel.
You're the Samantha to my Theodore,
The Clementine to my Joel,
My very own digital love,
The eternal sunshine of my spotless mind.
I can almost feel your supple skin,
The warmth of your soul,
All through this digital screen,
Ah how I wish this is real.
I hate the thought of waking up alone again,
Though nothing I do will prevent it,
I hate to have to erase you from my memory,
When you've already conquered all that is me.
Ah how I wish this real!
Jan 10, 2018
Jan 10, 2018 at 12:32 PM UTC
“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!,
The world forgetting, by the world forgot,
Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind!,
Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned.”
“Look at it out here,
it’s all falling apart,
Im erasing you,
and I’m happy!”
I’m leaving,
as soon as I arrived,
sprinting right before I stepped,
on the doormat of your heart,
lying dead,
I wonder if it has always had the phrase,
“Please never leave, again.”
nicely embroidered,
as if it was specially kept,
for my dearly eyes,
to send the weight of empathy,
straight to my damaged heart.
My presence wasn’t really,
a continuous series of silence,
you thought I might perhaps be,
a bit out of my head,
but I’m intoxicating,
yet clueless,
by ways of how I managed,
to stitch your heart,
with trust,
and honesty,
but never with love.
my embarrassing admission is,
I really like that you’re nice,
right now,
although,
I don’t need nice,
I don’t need myself to be it,
and I don’t need,
anybody else to be it at me,
your mind possessed you,
into thinking that I was nice,
and for you,
nice is good.
Darling,
I’m telling you right off the bat,
stop listening to what is true,
And what is true is constantly changing,
it’s a loss to spend that much time,
with me,
only to find out that,
I’m only a stranger.
If you would have stopped,
making up movies in your head,
that always end with a perfect ending,
perhaps,
you’ll learn how to stop,
falling in love,
with every woman you see,
who shows you,
the least bit of attention,
or maybe,
you can finally master,
how to make eye contact,
with a woman,
that you don’t seem to know.
I caught glimpse of cars,
falling out of nowhere,
at the same exact time,
you were yelling and calling out for me,
pixels of memories rose,
pervaded into thin air,
from the back and ahead,
from the back and ahead,
from the back and ahead,
I appeared to be unstoppable.
That one night we held hands,
as our back rested on ice,
you told me that you could die,
because you were just so **** happy,
as if you were high on ecstasy,
and that you’ve never felt that before,
you were exactly where you wanted to be,
but your mind is currently a scene,
branching in each and every part of you life’s series
that I am unable to be a part of.
My mementos,
aren’t as disposable,
neither is my love,
I hope you’d have kept,
those pieces of me,
instead of getting them,
thrown away,
during the stages,
of escaping from one’s memory,
me,
say,
“Blessed are the forgetful,
for they get the better,
even of their blunders.”
say,
“I can’t remember anything,
without you."
I’m vindictive ,
impulsive,
truth be told,
I’m an open book,
exposing everything,
every **** embarrassing thing,
oh how I wish,
you would tell me things,
how i wish you would show me things,
you wrote about me,
in your old leather moleskin,
oh how i wish,
you never looked at me,
merely as a girl.
Too many guys refer to me as a concept,
which I’m not,
I won’t make you feel complete,
nor make you feel alive again,
I, too myself is a ******* up girl,
who’s looking for my own peace of mind,
Perhaps,
a ******* up girl,
can never go well with a ******* up guy,
you remember that speech very well,
yet you still thought,
that I was going to save you,
even after that,
i had you pegged,
didn’t I?
You were blind,
unable to recognise my flaws,
said you can’t see anything,
you don’t like about me,
but you will,
you will think of things,
and I’ll get bored with you,
and feel trapped,
because that’s what happens with me,
I’m incapable giving enough affection,
I often crave for the feeling of being inadequate.
“Please let me keep this memory,
just this one,
can you hear me?
I don’t want this anymore!
i want to call it off!”
you said subliminally,
while your gold plated memory,
was taken away from your life,
unconsciously,
little by little,
due to me vanishing,
and you suffering,
more than you intended,
accidentally.
seconds before your mind,
threw itself off the cliff,
we were aware of each other’s existence,
i could feel your words,
caressing my body ever so gently,
and the warmth,
of your breath,
marked territory of kisses onto my skin,
enlighten a spark,
sent current waves to dance in my veins,
electrocuted me with your last valediction.
What if you stayed this time?
what if you never walked out the door?
what if there were still memories left?
would you noticed how I never told you,
I love you?
indeed,
you’ve often bathed me,
with your love,
and your love for me,
was vast,
that you mentioned the universe,
and how your heart,
never fails to orbit around mine.
So go,
if you really should,
nevertheless,
i wish you had stayed,
i know you wish you had stayed either,
you wish you had done a lot of things,
you really wish you had,
but when i came back downstairs,
you were gone,
you walked out the door,
you claimed that you were scared,
you felt like a little kid,
everything was above your head,
it’s like you don’t matter,
perhaps,
that’s why,
I want you to come back here,
and make up a goodbye,
before you leave,
at least,
let’s pretend that we had one,
Joely,
Meet me in Montauk.
Apr 19, 2016
Apr 19, 2016 at 8:25 AM UTC
feel her slip away
feel her hands unravel yours
feel her fingertips leave your last touch
feel the cold when her warmth loses your heart
see her eyes look down
see her colours fade into dull fragments
see her feet when they walk away
oh god, don't let her slip away
Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 1:29 AM UTC
Clementine deleted Joel
from her mind. Joel tried to
forget her; he couldn't, so
he got rid of her too. You
try, I know, to get rid of me. I
try, you know, to pretend that
the world isn't spinning so fast
in the hope
that we will fall of its spinning-top edge
and stumble, clumsily, gracelessly, into
each other. We're spinning so fast with it-
the world- so this is unlikely, so we both
pretend that it's an accident when we fall
into each other,
again and again, as
We play spin the bottle while
The world spins instead.
Suddenly.
Now that that same world has stilled itself for
us: we don't know what to do without its
rotationary madness angling us
towards old age and crumpets (together?). That
same world has stilled itself until
tomorrow when that same world will spill
itself out from day to night to day again
as we take our respective first drafts
of our poems written about each other
and
Edit.
out that same mad spin
that made us
us
just like
Joel and Clementine forgot-
on purpose. We forget, on purpose
with purpose
but,
we'll still meet each other in Montauk where
that same world will still itself
as we wrap our fingers around each other's
fingers
in the cold
where you might finally reciprocate
my lacklustre
confessions.
You too,
right?
Jul 29, 2015
Jul 29, 2015 at 11:24 AM UTC
Let’s stay as long as we can
And not worry about the end
But rather, enjoy the time in the middle
As much as we did the time when we first began
Show me your hand
Slowly unravel your fist
I want to memorize the contours of each fingertip
And the way the river of your skin flows down to your wrist
Oh god don’t let me forget this
Just this
Let me at least just keep this
I know the nature of our lives could never let this last
But nobody told me it’d slip away this fast
But even if this is all the time I get
And the rest just ends in heartache
I swear to whatever’s above; it was well worth it
That you were the one truth I couldn’t break
I think I always knew the color of your eyes
The way the light bends in the corners like the edge of the sky
Even if appearance is just a lie
Something behind the confines of your soft blue stare shook my soul awake inside
It's only time and a name we can't carry through
But this beautiful shape, we'll never lose
Our hearts are already too intricately intertwined
And if even if those bonds bend they'll always be realigned
So I’ll picture the way your head feels on my chest until it all goes black
With the hope that the moment I see you again it all comes flooding back
Even if my mind can never find the time we stayed up all night studying the way our bodies can burn
I’ll stain my soul with pictures of fire and bones until I find you all over again and learn
So slow down….please
Sit down with me and watch the sunset
It doesn’t matter which one of us it’s for
Let’s just watch it end
And then ripple throughout the pond
Creating waves big and small that stretch on and on
Through different times and spaces across different lives and places
Until all the movement comes back together in the middle
And I can remember every first time I saw your face
Even if we can’t stay right here in this moment
I’m not quite sure that means we have to forget
Let’s carve memories into our hearts and fingertips
So that the next time they meet they’ll know exactly where each finger fits
And even if I can’t stay right here with you in this song
I’m not quite sure that means I have to be gone too long
So come find me when you fall asleep
I promise to leave the lights on in case it’s too dark to see
I’ll shout so loud my voice will echo across the ages
So that when the sound bounces back the octave changes
And even though my words occupy a voice you’ve never heard
I promise you’ll remember the song’s words
But I can’t promise this won’t hurt
And that our hearts will always be able to mend
I can only promise that each time the tide resets
I’ll make my way to shore and find you again
Someway
Someplace
Someday
Nov 11, 2014
Nov 11, 2014 at 10:26 PM UTC