#endyatremesepoetry
I just need a way to vent, really quick
Man I promise
I need a little fix, I feel sick
To be honest
I know we're doing things for the best
Yea, thats what you told me
But just put my mind to rest
Take a breath, and just hold me
I dont want you to go
But I dont want you to know
Because you serving this time
Will help you prosper and grow
I'm just scared of the future
The only thing I'm not used to
But the past is the past
Wouldn't go back? I refuse to
So I'll just live in the moment
Without you, I feel homeless
I keep silently crying
And all these tears got me choking
Just give me your all
Before you go off
Promise me a week or two
And not just a call
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 12:33 PM UTC
I've written and re-written
And still cant find the words
No words to describe your smile
No words to describe your curves
No words to describe your chocolate beauty
**** you are a queen
The way your eyes get more defined
While wedged against your cheeks
The way your thighs get more defined
While pressed against your jeans
Sorry but it caught my eye
How you hide such physique
Sorry if I'm blunt
I want to taste your lips
And glide against your perfect hips
With just my finger tips
And well, my thought process goes
From **** I want to kiss her"
To hear you moaning in my ear,
While in yours, I whisper
*Seductive secret words
That will only **** your mental*
Its crazy how such gentle words
Can make you feel so sensual
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 11:09 AM UTC
Oh he's bad
Bad to the bone
He makes me feel a little nervous
But I swear it turns me on
He takes me to meet his friends
And makes sure that they respect me
He says it's a bad neighborhood
But I know that he'll protect me
Everyone is high or drunk
Even I was a little buzzed
But every time I seen his face
My body did something it never does
All he wants is a girlfriend
He just wants someone that's down
But I told him if he gives it time
I just might stick around
He had his heart broken,
A feeling we've both met.
He wishes for a forever
That he won't later regret
He wishes for a sister
That'll keep his *** in check
Keep his pillow dry of tears
But his sheets so soak and wet
He wants the police off his back
So he doesn't have to sweat
But yet....
He can't dip because the streets is his family
Literally, EVERYONE knows him,
How could I EVER be his sanity?
How could I keep him from behind bars?
Cuz yea, he's looking like a man to me,
But to the feds?, that's dead.
They would never see his tragedy.
Yea he made mistakes.
And on paper he got a record.
But if you lost 10 friends in a year!,
I'm sure you'd be that hurt!
I'm sure you'd smoke so much loud!
Just cuz no one else would listen!
With your middle finger in the air
Screaming **** the system!
But it's okay, I'll be the flame
That matches and calms his fire
We can grow and glow together
He'll be calling me his rider
Nov 15, 2016
Nov 15, 2016 at 1:05 AM UTC
Get that hate off your heart and get me off your mind
No longer your concern so lets move on with time
Cuz there's No time to go backwards, we tried this before
You made it all clear that the real you is sore
Your ego had shown and your prides on the floor
But you took so **** long, now your prize out the door
...
Im not trying to boost but you could have lived lavishly
Cuz no matter our bank account, no matter what tragedy
We kept our heads up, and your soul was so attached to me
But that one last night i had you, you had did me savagely
And i accept that, matter fact i respect that
I told you to stand up for yourself and helped you grow, U can't neglect that
But when your fam ask what happened, do you tell them all the truth,
tell me what words did you really use to reflect that?
Tell me what words did you use to help you think that
What you said was how u felt cuz if u think back
Just one day before, we walked out by the shore all in love but i guess you didnt sink that
I guess you pick and choose what you want to marinate
But thank god, cuz this really could have been a later date
We were three years deep in and i let it sink in
That with you i could never see my heart break
But that broken heart and shade that you threw was never worth it
And im not playing innocent, i threw shade, i got my word in
But that really does nothing
So can we please stop the bluffin
Cuz the both of us knows we dont deserve it
The both of us cant really bare the burning
The hate in us cant stand to feel us hurting
Aug 24, 2016
Aug 24, 2016 at 10:35 AM UTC
"Are you high?"
-Yeah
"Don't you want to go vibe with your friends?"
-No
"They might get irritated that you're on the phone"
-I don't care
I'm sorry. I really am.
I'm not trying to get rid of you.
It's just the way you say my name
That really got me into you.
I really want to keep you.
I don't want to mess this up
And if I'm as bad as others say,
Then I'll try to switch up.
I'll try not to be needy
I won't fight hard for my opinion
I'll be that perfect girl
When you introduce me to a friend
That's why I come off the way I do
I don't know any other way to handle it
But I don't want to be a bother
If you're out and smoking cannabis
I'm not used to feeling this.
Not used to not wanting to beg.
I love how you want my attention. I love feeling wanted.
I pity the girl I was before
I was dumb but still down-to-earth
And it was still a reality check
When I finally found my worth
Oct 2, 2016
Oct 2, 2016 at 1:48 AM UTC
I remember saying I hated the word sorry
But now days all I do is look for an apology
I keep telling my self to forgive and forget but wanting them to show their guilt and regret
And if they did, we could build and respect
Instead of showing the subject
This type of neglect....
Like that **** ain't hurt me?
The way I reacted in every situation showed how it burned me
You gotta test me out if you really finna learn me
It takes more than what you think you know to distinguish or discern me
These moments in life, we got less than a few
So why's it heavy on my mind? Maybe cuz it's not to you
You dont want to wait till its too late to up and dead a feud
Cuz tomorrow that person really could be up and dead to you
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 6:06 PM UTC
I've always known that red lights and good music was supposed to feel special
And at one point, with you, it was.
But those dark nights and red lights became something that told me to stop.
Not to stop the car, but to stop letting you draw me into what had been such a doubtful relationship
And those dark nights were the aftermath of the happy times you brought.
Those dark nights left me with nights even darker
And that good music we played was a distraction
A distraction from God telling me I was going the wrong way.
I was in the passenger seat of the devil's car, painted red
And later on, painted white
Confusing me, making me think I was going right
Till God says that that red glowing light
Is telling you that you're going the wrong way.
Where you're headed, no one is welcome
But with me, you're welcome to stay.
So just follow the green...
But that music was too loud
And the city lights were so bright, that it even blinded me from seeing the signs of the creator,
From seeing my fate,
From looking out for my own destiny.
That music drowned out my thoughts
And wrapped it's happy lyrics around my heart
And later on, my throat
Strangling me more and more with every red light
Till the car finally crashed and I thought that that was it for me
I was rushed to the ER and I met God
And he said he'd give me another chance
And to see the lesson as a blessing that taught me
And to follow the green and only the green
Cuz all the red will ever do is stop me
And now, because of you, dark nights, red lights and good music will never be the same.
These are the paralyzed feelings you brought me
Sep 26, 2016
Sep 26, 2016 at 1:12 PM UTC
Fate is a *****
But she gets the job done
You gotta race through hell
When your heart is on the run
I had this girl hit me up
And say we had something in common
So I asked her wassup
And then my mind started wandering
When I realized that our love life
Was in the same hole
But talking to her faithfully
Made those feelings feel old
I started questioning myself
Thinking I had a new crush
But what I didn't realize
Was what had made me feel the rush
Just as simple as a text in AM
Had me sayin
That I should think about how heavy
These options were I was weighing
Being up all night texting
Had my mind and heart debating
When it was only relating
That made me see my feelings fading
Till one night this girl
Had done something amazing
She helped me get out that hole
And there my ex was, waiting
Apparently when I wasn't looking
They had had a conversation
That opened my exes eyes
To see the mistakes that we were making
As soon as I got out that hole
I seen all the similarities
It was the fact that she cared, listened
And gave me carefully-worded clarity
So I looked in my exes eyes
And seen she's the half I was missing
And now I'm happy to say
We're again making memories to remanaice on
But I look at that hole
And my friend is still there
And I want to get her out
But that's not my heart to repair
So I sit next to this hole telling her
Her ex still cares
Cuz I know what it feels like
To believe that something is still there
Cuz Love is kind, Karma's a *****
These are feelings we can't bear
Just remember Life is pain,
But Fate is is still fair
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015 at 11:24 PM UTC
You know how they say when you take drugs, the closer you come to death, the better the high?
Life is a drug
And it's deadly
It can have you up so high one second, and then have you crashing down hard.
Today I got high
It started off as if I were drinking a detox to cry all my tears.
Then the tears came faster,
so unexpectedly
And the thoughts came faster
So unintentionally
But I grabbed a pair scissors
and reached for some earphones
Ran into the bathroom and blasted Pandora through my earphones
Hoping but hating that I wish it was your voice through my earphones
Till your face popped up and my eyes were too blurry to see what wasn't so much a clear phone
I sat on the floor
Hoping you would know
Hoping in your heart,
you'd tell everyone to go
Hoping that you'd call
and then you'd get me sobered up
But I had pushed you away once and you were good to let me know
You're s i n g l e..
I thought I was your friend, your family,
your sister
Well I guess not so much,
at this point, my wrist blisters
I go harder and go deeper but the scissors aren't sharp,
so I go faster in my wrist while my soul is in the dark
I got dubstep blasting in my ears
cuz I can't fade the noise
Of the blade killing every skin cell,
now these scissors are just toys
I needed something to get the job done,
something hopefully fast
I didn't have time for scars and regrets.
I needed something to make it last.
So here's the part where I get closer
To the nonexistent devil himself
I grab a robe rope just hoping you'd respond
when I texted you for help
No one else could ever stop me
Because no one else understands
How high I can get off life
And letting the ******* coarse be ran
So I start to see these energies,
And they're all negative and dark
They surround me, waiting,
To see their ******* work of art
I sit as still as if I were sleep
Sitting up with my eyes open
I could only imagine what I looked like
Probably dead and nearly broken
So I pick up my rope
And I begin to make a noose
I make it tight
No room for loose
No room for mistake
No room for regret
No room to wake up again with my pillows soaking wet
So I tie it around my neck
And oh boy, it's getting serious
Without a thought, I just drop
But now I get a little curious
as to why I don't see
the freaking devil in my room
Cuz I definitely feel him,
guess I'm not that close to doom.
And after it gets tighter and tighter
I can feel my airways cut off
I think about my phone and wish it had been cut off
If it weren't for you, these thoughts would have been cut off
But if it weren't for you, this rope wouldn't have been cut off
Nov 7, 2015
Nov 7, 2015 at 8:42 AM UTC
If you loved me
You wouldn't have found someone so fast
If you cared about me
You would've wanted to text back fast
If you thought I was perfect
No matter how blind, you would've seen that I'm worth it
So I'm sorry if my trust is gone
I'm sorry that my mind is wrong
I'm sorry that my heart is crushed
And I wear my insecurities inside out
Showing how damaged I really am now
I'll never be the same as I was before
I trusted you to open every door
You took me so ******* high
But I swear when I felt the floor
I shattered into a million pieces
Watching you with someone, teasing
Me, laughing off in my face
And I couldn't keep up the pace
So I used the only chance I got
To run from that ******* place
I gave myself up
When I seen opportunity
So I'm sorry that you let me know
There would never be a you and me
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 2:19 AM UTC
Oh how I wish that you still wrote
So it could be like the beginning
Reading your poetry, quote by quote
Installing the words in my memory
Breaking it down over to replay it
Every word, comma and period
Picturing how you would say it
Wishing I could really hear it
You're really something to write for
Other than that, my words are stuck
If I could go back to how it was before
I'd give my last wrinkled buck
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 11:38 PM UTC
*I'd wish I had known you sooner but I mean...
We have the rest of forever and this is pretty **** perfect
You're kinda like Cinderella
No one expects your presence to light the eyes of everyone in the room
You probably don't expect it either
But Princess, you do.
Except you don't need no mice, no fairy, and no carriage.
I could wrap you in the richest of silk or the most unprocessed fur
Throw loads of makeup on you and contour your contour
But I'd still prefer you naked with steam outlining your body like fog over a lonely lake
And a lonely lake you are
But only because you choose to be
You choose not to be a river, where all of your secrets and thoughts could flow on into the next body of water
You choose to be hidden and secluded and only welcome those, who choose to visit, with your peace and tranquility
And you stay happy because of all the life around you. From the sun visiting everyday to the wild grass and weeds sprouting through you.
You know that life is beautiful. And you are Cinderella, kept behind closed doors.
Like a still lake, you're a hidden positivity.*
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 7:26 PM UTC
On my way to rehab
Just one more short day
Till i have to say goodbye
Till i have to go away
Till i have to start a promise
That i know i shouldnt have made.
I promised I'd be better
But that's not as easy as said
I wish it didnt get this bad
I wish that it was better
I wish that I could move on like her
I wish I never m....
No. Thats not true.
I know I'm glad I met you
So I could ****** challenge myself
Trying not to mean that I regret you
And no, I'm not starting over
Consider this a step two
You took my life and ran with it
And I mother ****** let you
I'm glad I couldn't have kept you
Permanent damage, written in red too
I know you're probably sick of me
But I still hope the world will bless you
Nov 28, 2015
Nov 28, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
If you make a move...
You're left with nothing.
If you don't make a move...
You're left with nothing.
So in the end,
You'll have more than you ever had before.
Dec 26, 2015
Dec 26, 2015 at 3:51 PM UTC
Pull it, pull it, just ******* do it.
Because if not now, you'll ******* lose it.
*As I sit..with my knees to my chest,
I slide the gun up my thigh to my breast, and then up from my throat to my chin,
my heart beats..I can't help but listen,
and I put it in my mouth,
wishing for energy to shout,
but I take a breath
and then I take it out,
glide it across my cheek,
and up to my temple.
Call me a freak.
Call me mental.*
Just end it all, right here, right now.
And listen close 'cause this will be your last sound.
Just ******* do it, this life ain't worth livin,
So let's get to it, call it My Final Decision.
I close my eyes and my face tightens,
Sorry to who will find me, I didn't mean to frighten.
Just ******* do it.
I pull the trigger
Get some chalk and draw my beautiful figure.
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 12:45 AM UTC
I told myself before that I wouldn't ever fall in love again...
And then I did it.
But how can you fall in love if you don't believe in love
Or do I just not want to believe in love
My heart drops and bleeds for love
It feels so good but not when you need the love
It hurts so bad after you eat, sleep and breathe that love.
....
I get attached and become something of a mother.
My feelings get hurt easily and I run for cover.
I block out any and everyone but I know I'll run back to you.
Because I've opened up and no one else really knows what to do.
But then you shut me out as well, I've officially pushed you away.
Its like i can never do the right things, I can never express what I want to say.
Last week I told myself I'd never fall in love again.
But yesterday, I felt it in my heart but I feel like I committed sin.
Because today, I'm back at last week, where I wish I didnt have feelings.
I wish I could tear down my emotions without holding up the ceiling.
I wish you were here to wipe my tears but I know that you don't want to.
I pushed away everyone that I could always cry and run to.
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 8:41 AM UTC
Sit on the edge of the bed
Spread your legs
Let me devour your divine
Grab and pull on my tiara
Let your golden skin and fingers melt within it
Entangle in it
Arch your beauty in ecstasy
Point your toes and try on your glass slippers
Step into the ball room of an ******** high
A new dimension
A colorful kingdom
We rule this realm
Back and forth, from battling
To sitting on our thrones
We celebrate
Over and over
Hand in hand
Body to body
Sweat and tears
Till we collapse and the night forever goes down in history
Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 7:05 PM UTC
I feel myself breaking on the inside.
I feel myself taking out my insides.
Starting with my heart
I take that apart
So no ones key can no longer fit
And next is my brain
So these thoughts can be tamed
And put together the poetry I spit
I cut open my veins,
So I can empty my soul
So you can really see what's on the inside
And I give you my lens
So you see dimensions
And see what I see with my eyes
I want to be felt,
but not physically touched
I want you to feel how I feel
I take myself apart
Starting with my insides
And finally feel with the skin that I've peeled
Aug 15, 2016
Aug 15, 2016 at 7:49 PM UTC
I miss driving 8 miles just to try to see you
But this distance is taking me to the ICU
I get so high now days, I think I see two
Trust so low. Constantly asking and need to see proof.
Got my heart ripped out and you started to tear it
And I ran away not knowing you'd be the one to repair it
Regretting physical moments that I ain't mentally cherish
That was my heart, my love, I'd never let you share it!
My heart was on my sleeve but I'll never let you wear it!
And my hate towards you, I swore I'd let you hear it
If a day came that I met her, you better bet she'd fear it
Man the **** we had, you KNOW another could never come near it
Feb 2, 2016
Feb 2, 2016 at 3:48 PM UTC
Sometimes I think it'd be better if this ain't exist
So I can erase another problem when it's you that I miss
Jan 11, 2015
Jan 11, 2015 at 9:37 PM UTC
I've learned that intentional pain doesn't hurt as much as accidental pain...physically and emotionally.
Oct 24, 2014
Oct 24, 2014 at 7:45 PM UTC
I was there for you before you hurt me
I was there for you after you hurt me
I was there for you when i broke up with you
I was there for you when you pushed me away
I was there for you when u started to move on
I was there for you when you lied about it
I was there when u started distancing yourself from me
I was there for you when you stopped replying
I was there for you even though i was #3 on your list to be there for
I was there for you the day we had ***
I didn't want to be there for you when you told me you lost all feelings for me right after we had ***
And i stopped being there for you when you posted and reposted all the bull that you knew would hurt me and the things about your new found girlfriend
I stopped being there for you when you said you two would be cute together
I stopped being there for you when you said she was the cutest thing to ever sit in your passenger seat
I stopped being there for you when you said your bed smelled like her
I stopped being there for you when you quoted songs that we listened to together but meant it about her
I stopped being there when you said she might be your rain...
So dont ******* call me fake when i say not to hmp when you need me. Cuz you werent there for me. You were only the cause of my suffrage
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 8:43 PM UTC
I won't expose your body
I won't expose your temple
But I'll do even worse
And I'll expose your mental
Tell them how we used to be
And tell them how you used me
Tell them how you let go
And never was afraid to lose me
I got a lot of hate built
But I wont expose your pics
And yea you played me like an instrument
But I won't expose those chicks
Cry a ******* fake river
Filled with words that contradict
And acid in every word
That your mouth could possibly spit
I think you believe your own lies
I think you like this lil disguise
Cuz I swear when I look at you
I look the devil in his eyes
I knew you liked to play with fire
And I really hate to admit
That now I know what you meant
When you said one match had our hearts lit
Dec 16, 2015
Dec 16, 2015 at 10:18 PM UTC
I got these words that I can't put together
I got this block, I know this poem could be better
If I could make this weight on my shoulders feel like a feather
Then I would but just look, this **** wasn't easy
I turned around and reached out, that **** made me queasy
Cuz I opened myself up and I let your *** read me
I should've trusted my gut, gave you the key to my heart but you keyed me
You told your squad to tune in to my sorrows and pleading
But I'm good now, two fingers turned into 5
You ****** can't see me
Dec 5, 2015
Dec 5, 2015 at 2:36 PM UTC