#emotionalmanipulation
you made me feel so loved
i adored you
i don't know how to feel
why am i apologizing
for you hurting me
why do i feel guilty
for something i didn't do?
why am i coming back to you
even after you caused me so much pain?
why am i talking to you
after you stole my voice?
why do i see you as beautiful,
when you made me feel hideous?
why am i crawling back,
after you tore me apart?
why do i keep coming back?
Dec 8, 2018
Dec 8, 2018 at 2:34 PM UTC
I do not want to blame you.
I fell hopelessly, desperately in love
and that was not your fault.
Our summer was smiles and laughter
and sleepy morning *** and cuddles at 2AM.
How could I not love you?
All was golden in your presence
and nothing hurt.
The demons of yesterday were banished
by the warmth of your adoration,
and I slowly forgot the sorrow
growing around my heart like a sickness.
I do not blame you.
But no one taught me the difference
between love and dependence.
No one taught me that I could love you
and still say no.
I let you tie me down, hold me,
Hurt me,
because I was terrified to lose you.
I know I shouldn't blame you.
But I still flinch at unknown hands,
still pull away when I feel threatened,
and I feel threatened more than ever.
Anxiety claws my throat,
hands shake, vision blurs,
His eyes are your eyes are his eyes
and I can still hear your voice.
"Kneel ****
I don't know how I stand up now.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 7:33 AM UTC