#eatingdisorderawareness

This is a nice walk. Good job I've gone Out and about I ate way too much today I need to burn that off Christ, my belly looks huge! OK, breathe in, breathe in I wonder what I'll have For tea tonight It'd better be something light I had a bar of chocolate last night I wonder how many calories I've left for the day What do My Fitness Pal say? 600. That's okay BUT It would be better To have less I'm at a party this weekend So I'll probably eat and drink More than I should I could just skip tea altogether? Wow, my thighs really rub together That's disgusting Yeah, I probably should (I definitely shouldn't wear shorts) I wonder what I'll do tonight Maybe go for a run? I'm tired from last night's, but I'll be happier once it's done I look disgusting In everything right now Maybe it'll help me be A little trimmer for that party? Oh God, that person's looking at me I bet they're judging My double chin OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO BREATHE IN. For God's sake Why can't I just be thin? There are too many people about I should have waited 'til it was dark My flab is less stark Less to remark on If people can't see properly It's OK, nearly home now ...That was a nice walk.

0

Jul 29, 2020

Jul 29, 2020 at 2:07 PM UTC

ellie-19

Walks with my demon

This is a nice walk. Good job I've gone Out and about I ate way too much today I need to burn that off Christ, my belly looks huge! OK, breathe in, breathe in I wonder what I'll have For tea tonight It'd better be something light I had a bar of chocolate last night I wonder how many calories I've left for the day What do My Fitness Pal say? 600. That's okay BUT It would be better To have less I'm at a party this weekend So I'll probably eat and drink More than I should I could just skip tea altogether? Wow, my thighs really rub together That's disgusting Yeah, I probably should (I definitely shouldn't wear shorts) I wonder what I'll do tonight Maybe go for a run? I'm tired from last night's, but I'll be happier once it's done I look disgusting In everything right now Maybe it'll help me be A little trimmer for that party? Oh God, that person's looking at me I bet they're judging My double chin OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO BREATHE IN. For God's sake Why can't I just be thin? There are too many people about I should have waited 'til it was dark My flab is less stark Less to remark on If people can't see properly It's OK, nearly home now ...That was a nice walk.

48

You hate what you see when you look at your reflection so you do everything you can and nothing at all in hopes that you start to waste away Stopping yourself from living will **** the passion in your eyes and soon they will be incapable of seeing brightness and your new reflection will be worse than the one you hated before They forget to tell you the new shadows on your face make everything seem darker because there is less surface area on which the sun can shine No one will tell you that laughter and late night pizza with best friends and warm thoughts will taste better than emptiness and hunger for something more The food might leave an aftertaste somewhat similar to regret, but at least it has more flavor than the air you **** in to keep yourself from faltering

0

Feb 26, 2015

Feb 26, 2015 at 8:50 PM UTC

elizabeth2014

No Excuses, Demand Appetites

You hate what you see when you look at your reflection so you do everything you can and nothing at all in hopes that you start to waste away Stopping yourself from living will **** the passion in your eyes and soon they will be incapable of seeing brightness and your new reflection will be worse than the one you hated before They forget to tell you the new shadows on your face make everything seem darker because there is less surface area on which the sun can shine No one will tell you that laughter and late night pizza with best friends and warm thoughts will taste better than emptiness and hunger for something more The food might leave an aftertaste somewhat similar to regret, but at least it has more flavor than the air you **** in to keep yourself from faltering

31

I remember wanting to eat and eating and letting it digest and not have tears rolling down my eyes as I watch my breakfast swirl down the toilet while I hold onto my toothbrush with my life they say bad habits are hard to break well now I feel I'm falling back down that hole of feeling worthless feeling as if I don't deserve to eat like I'm not worth that spoonful of cereal or that bite of the apple you gave me to eat and watched me chew and swallow every bit until it was the core and stem left in the palm of my hands and inside I wanted to run and cry because I didn't think I deserved that apple but this time you were watching me you were watching me so I couldn't go and throw it up somewhere far enough away where you couldn't hear me so you couldn't stop me I remember the times a toothbrush was just to brush my teeth

0

Jul 15, 2018

Jul 15, 2018 at 3:49 PM UTC

ProbablyUnderneathTheStarsss

Turn a blind eye

I remember wanting to eat and eating and letting it digest and not have tears rolling down my eyes as I watch my breakfast swirl down the toilet while I hold onto my toothbrush with my life they say bad habits are hard to break well now I feel I'm falling back down that hole of feeling worthless feeling as if I don't deserve to eat like I'm not worth that spoonful of cereal or that bite of the apple you gave me to eat and watched me chew and swallow every bit until it was the core and stem left in the palm of my hands and inside I wanted to run and cry because I didn't think I deserved that apple but this time you were watching me you were watching me so I couldn't go and throw it up somewhere far enough away where you couldn't hear me so you couldn't stop me I remember the times a toothbrush was just to brush my teeth

2

your thighs look bigger today what? that bit of fat between your armpit and chest is more obvious who said that? go on, put your fingers around your wrist and tell me i'm wrong i do it. i don't know why i listened. my head hurts now i'm hearing so many words so many body based insults i place my palm to my forehead there's no one here? i'm lying on my back i focus on the tightness in my stomach as i breathe in and out i grin at the feeling i sit up i see her. there's ana she's holding a red string it's connected to every inch of my skin i'm wrapped in her delusions i can't reach the scissors she's got me. ana talks to me every day we agree with each other we understand we make changes we - i - no. she. she's happy ana is happy because she's drained the red from my body and as the last thread snaps i realise shes done it again she's wrapped my strength in her ropes and made it weak.

0

Mar 1

Mar 1, 2026 at 5:26 PM UTC

kaatee

wrapped in her ropes

your thighs look bigger today what? that bit of fat between your armpit and chest is more obvious who said that? go on, put your fingers around your wrist and tell me i'm wrong i do it. i don't know why i listened. my head hurts now i'm hearing so many words so many body based insults i place my palm to my forehead there's no one here? i'm lying on my back i focus on the tightness in my stomach as i breathe in and out i grin at the feeling i sit up i see her. there's ana she's holding a red string it's connected to every inch of my skin i'm wrapped in her delusions i can't reach the scissors she's got me. ana talks to me every day we agree with each other we understand we make changes we - i - no. she. she's happy ana is happy because she's drained the red from my body and as the last thread snaps i realise shes done it again she's wrapped my strength in her ropes and made it weak.

35