#earlymorningthoughts
You were three blocks away
Going to the same destination
But you wouldn't stop
In the cold and rain
Never asked if I needed help
Didn't offer a ride which would've
Saved me 40 minutes of time
And an awkward conversation
With a man who invited me back to his
I considered his offer
Partly out of spite
Partly out of hope
That he would slash my throat
And I wouldn't have to return home
I rubbed my cheeks, suddenly grateful
No one can tell when you've cried in the rain
I guess we've always been three blocks
Apart from one another, you and I
Aug 20, 2019
Aug 20, 2019 at 12:38 PM UTC
You told me once, life isn't aimless
We are all aimed directly at death
Jul 18, 2019
Jul 18, 2019 at 10:27 AM UTC
They treated you better than anyone ever had
They were kind and sweet and caring
They made you feel good about yourself
They gave you a reason to keep going
And none of that means they were ever right for you.
Jun 12, 2019
Jun 12, 2019 at 12:47 PM UTC
stop forgiving and cutting slack
to those who don't love you back
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 8:11 PM UTC
life is but a cruel game
where we live each moment
always missing someone
I talked to a Serbian man
at the bus stop going home
told him my mom died
on the solstice this year
the longest night that never
would become day for her
he said his died when he was 50
that he wept like a child then
tears formed in his pale eyes
though this game seems unfair
that no one close to us remains
we only borrow one another
life is not a game played for keeps
we exchange time for experience
and life itself for memories
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 11:51 AM UTC
early morning sun weeps
rays against my skin through
open summer window
shadows hug the curves
of my arm and stomach
I believe, briefly, that I've dissolved
exsanguinated, I lay lifeless
a pile of flesh and mess
worried my soul has left it's shell
I exist only momentarily
when you touch me
when your eyes meet mine
when your body wraps around me
I vanish once more when you leave
Dec 31, 2018
Dec 31, 2018 at 11:34 AM UTC
god's teeth, like crooked giants
stood before me, unconquerable.
I've always chased windmills but
some demons are too great to slay,
and I, too foolish and tired to slay them.
"you were young once, too," they whisper,
they have been here at the dawn
of time and stand, eroded but beautiful.
they only remind me that my youth is gone,
of my fleeing mortality.
I will be long dead,
the earth will live on
without me, someday,
as will you.
will you mourn me when I go?
will you leave orchids at my wake?
I never wished to see a world without you in it,
never wished to feel my body apart from yours
though you've shown me what it looks like now.
and everything is a bit bleaker,
the first snow fall brings only
silence and slush and empty contemplation
and I hate it.
I hate being alone with these thoughts.
but rather than spearing the giants and demons,
I'd be lying if I said I didn't think
the spear would easier go through me
I'll get back on my horse and ride
towards the empty and unfulfilling horizon
as long as I can, I promise
I will fight an eternity for your memory alone
Dec 24, 2018
Dec 24, 2018 at 12:17 PM UTC
nobody writes poetry about the banal
the ticking clocks and coffee drips
clicked buttons and phones ringing
white walls with greige carpet
waiting in lines for daily tedium
this is where we spend most our time
existing in between the magical
skimming edges of something beautiful
our existence both mundane yet unparalleled
I feel grateful for every tea ring in my mug
pages of old books I will never read
time spent waiting for replies
or watching paint dry on canvas
because this sliver of existence
brief and bland though it may be
can occur only once at this very moment
and our fleeting mortality is extraordinary
Dec 14, 2018
Dec 14, 2018 at 9:06 PM UTC
catcall the bell-wearer
whose toll is paid in soft looks
longing sighs and blue eyes
like a Siamese cat because
an animal caged won't rebel
whistle and marvel at lithe grace
possessed by beauty of presence
charm that smokes and chars
magnified only by their walk
like a dance for poppies
made only more appealing
with cold shoulders and fury
Dec 11, 2018
Dec 11, 2018 at 7:10 PM UTC
you bring me your darkness
like a fat house cat
who has killed a mouse
placing it at my feet
still squirming
and you, proud
very well, I mumble
you're a formidable hunter
vulnerability is striking
yours ought to be celebrated
but darkness never dies easy
it chokes and sputters
and runs off with final breath
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 12:57 PM UTC
goodbye lover, goodbye
my broken heart will heal
but my youth will never restore
if I could return the stolen moments
I would, tenfold, back to you
I have no right to keep them hostage
I know my emotions were never
your responsibility, though I guiltily
made them your cross to bear
you exchanged sadness for pleasure
though I love you not for what you did
or the ways you'd make me laugh or feel
or the times you'd make me think and care
but because I felt as though I saw you
goofy, odd, brilliant, funny, wonderful, ****
my feelings are always genuine
and though we have bid one another farewell
I am certain my feelings will remain
long after my youth and body have gone
so adieu chéri, adieu--
some infinities are longer than others
the one we shared has never ended for me
though I can't give back these thoughts
the knowledge of loves existence is my burden
someday, days or years
lifetimes or centuries from now
a rainbow will touch the ocean
because my love for you spans
a greater infinity than time itself
but until that moment arrives
(if it ever arrives in this life time)
goodbye sweet love, goodbye--
for as long as you'd like
Oct 26, 2018
Oct 26, 2018 at 12:12 PM UTC
some days it feels like
everyone is out
living their lives
while I am typing into a void
that leaves me more empty
than when I started
Oct 24, 2018
Oct 24, 2018 at 10:27 AM UTC
media is self absorbed
corrupt government systems
**** journalists and civilians
bleached coral reefs
nuclear bomb testing
fast fashion and factory farming
class discrepancy grows
capitalism expands
the forest weeps
earth is burning
150-200 species of life
become extinct every day
here's a picture of my food
and my pet, he's a good boy
vacay in madrid smiley emoticon
hashtag blessed hashtag fun
is it a lie or a distraction
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 11:18 AM UTC
some days, the only thing I want
is someone to talk to again
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 10:23 AM UTC
I can still feel the trace of your arms wrapped around me
I can still feel your warmth like you’re near.
And I know it’s my fault, so please, don’t remind me
I know I’m the reason you’re not here
So I tried to play it all back again
Because it’s so much better back when we can
Dance in front of many people
Pretend they aren’t there
Or act like we don’t care
Hold hands wherever we go
And whisper to each other things nobody knows
These things are just imprints
And they’re bound to fade
They’ll crumble to ashes
Like they were never made
But these little things
Imprints they might be
They have a way
Yes they have a way to stay
I can still hear your voice and the things that you said
When we were lying on my rickety bed.
You said this time tomorrow this will be our past
And since we can’t stay here let’s just make it last
But still I try to play it all back again
Because I am much happier back when I can
Laugh at your silly jokes
While tracing odd patterns
On clouds and on smokes
Sing when you play your guitar
Or when we’re driving around town in your car
These things are just imprints
But they’re what I hold on to
They are proof to me
That once I had you
And I’m placing my faith
On these little things
To have a way
To find a way to stay
I can still hear your laugh
While secretly wondering about the life we could’ve had
I can still see your face
And I’m wishing it’s somethings that time could not erase
But now you’re nothing but an imprint
And you’re bound to fade
Like a crumbling sand castle
Like the memories we made.
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 7:27 AM UTC