#dysfunctionalfamily
Bonsai is art my parents like
They cut here, there, left, right,
Trimming off the unkempt leaves
Cutting off the branches clean
Off of their precious banyan tree
To achieve the perfect shape
Sketched in a dog-eared page
In the book their forefathers gave.
Showing off is a must, it seems.
“What pretty leaves!” they squeal and scream.
It is no theft, but surely a steal
To have such a perfect banyan tree
With leaves and boughs so petite
Unbothered by pests and bees,
Oh, my parents always sigh in relief
Thank God theirs is dainty and neat!
Not like the beast scarring the scene
The wild and free banyan tree
With wasps and ants in its leaves
With ghosts and jinns lurking within
With the stink of **** at its feet
Grows the great banyan tree.
To stand beneath its shadowy canopy.
To stretch my hands to sky and infinity
Oh, to provide such shade and love
With roots so stable and firm.
This longing, this desire floods my trunk
Towards the banyan, I stretch my arms.
What I’d give to grow wild and untouched
Yet my branches and roots have shrunk
For the little banyan tree I have become.
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 4:54 AM UTC
They cheered for them
moms with cameras, dads with proud eyes.
I stood alone,
four medals in my hands,
three gold, one silver,
like they meant something.
I ran fast today.
I always do.
People say it’s talent.
My stepmom says
it’s because I like running from my problems.
She laughs when she says it.
She doesn’t know
I run
because when I run,
the pain stays behind
for a while.
No blades.
No pills.
Just breath and burning legs
and the sound of my heart
trying to beat louder than the thoughts.
I crossed every line first
but still came last
in the only race that mattered,
the one where someone waits
at the end.
Sometimes I wonder
what it would feel like
to look into the crowd
and see someone who looks like love.
To have someone call my name
like it meant home.
I wish I had that kind of family,
the kind you don’t have to earn.
May 16, 2025
May 16, 2025 at 6:40 AM UTC
all the **** from your mouth that you thought was inspiring
slowly broke me down until my hope was expiring
never opened my mouth to come back with inquiries
just kept my head down and wrote my thoughts in a diary
and you read it, pathetic,
invading my privacy
called me out for feigning sadness and my ‘bogus’ anxiety
cause “im a better dad than mine so shut up and be quiet kid”
“you’re lucky im the head of this dysfunctional dynasty”
well congratulations dad, you’ve earned notoriety
for forcing my respect in the form of compliancy
and disbelieving science and the facts of psychiatry
so i ran away from home to join the freaks of society
where else could i escape from your emotional piracy?
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 9:58 AM UTC
Dearest Sister,
How come you only think about yourself?
Our dog died and you kicked me out of the room because you wanted to be alone with him
What about me?
You got to sit there for hours with him, holding him as he fell into a sleep he wouldn’t wake up from
But I was sitting in the car
With a Dad that was on the phone with everybody and anybody
Trying to hold it in for as long as I could without breaking apart in front of him.
Dearest Sister,
How come you only think about yourself?
How come you tried to make yourself feel better about kicking me out?
I’m your little sister.
You’re supposed to protect me not break me.
Dearest Sister,
How come you never liked me?
I was only a kid and my first memory of you
Was of you being mean.
Dearest Sister,
Why are people so mean?
You were mean to me
So I was mean to you
And neither of us were willing to fix it
And now it’s too late.
Dearest Sister,
Why is our family so dysfunctional?
Why did you dangle your depression over our parents heads like it was a noose
And if they ever told you not to do something you would kick the chair out from under your feet?
Why did you think that was okay?
Dearest Sister,
You say that you can’t stand being home
So you’re always out
Hanging with your friends,
Driving down the countryside.
What about me?
Have you ever even thought about me?
About how much I needed to escape the mess that is home?
Dearest Sister,
I’m sorry but you messed up.
You ruined any chance of a relationship with me.
The things you have done are toxic to me
And I think about them all of the time.
So now I’m thinking about myself.
I love you,
But I don’t.
Goodbye forever,
Your lonely little sister.
Sep 12, 2017
Sep 12, 2017 at 8:57 PM UTC