#dysfunction
I will be her biggest failure,
The one that went all wrong.
The first pancake of the batch–
Always burnt and quite oblong.
The one who saw the chaos
And fought it like her own war.
The one that was once rescued,
The guiltiest feeling she ever bore.
The one that saw the damage
Of an ego wounded man.
Who grew to find a new one,
Mama couldn't fix hers–
But I can.
I will always be her failure–
Look just like her and more.
Instead of choosing different,
I simply busted through
Her old barred doors.
Jan 23
Jan 23, 2026 at 5:54 PM UTC
Dearest father now I loathe,
How I abhor, how I detest,
All you've done to me
Dearest father how you ****
How you’re **** to all you meet,
A mere creep
Dearest father you’re undeserving,
Unlikable, intolerable,
To all those around you
Dearest father leave us all,
For the best, for a test,
Out of sight and mind
Dearest father that I hate,
An abominate, I despise,
Dearest father get out of that cake
Such grimy hands, a grimy face,
Undeserving glee,
Smeared like icing on that cake
That cake you grab,
That cake you touch,
I despise, get out of that cake
Dearest father,
A loathsome man.
Nov 24, 2025
Nov 24, 2025 at 10:40 AM UTC
You are the cause
of your own
SELF-DESTRUCTION,
Your own
issues and problems,
You can't seem
to function,
Your mind is
a wandering,
You are the cause
of your dysfunction
You don't have a clue
not even an unction,
Just pick yourself up and
SAVE YOURSELF
YOU ARE YOUR HELP
JUST YOU AND
NO ONE ELSE,
You are the cause of all
of your worries,
Turn that around and
I mean in a hurry
SELF-DISCIPLINE
is what you really need,
LOVE AND GROWTH
MOST DEFINITELY!!!
WORDS TO ENCOURAGE
FOR YOUR RESTORATION,
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!
TO LEAD TO YOUR
TRANSFORMATION!!!!
B.R.
Date: 11/7/2025
Nov 8, 2025
Nov 8, 2025 at 12:50 AM UTC
I memorised this house’s percussion
Before I learned to speak
Survival dictated it
My bedroom door doesn’t lock
None of them do
A house of false privacy
Where boundaries exist only in theory
So I learned to barricade myself with silence instead
To make myself so quiet that they forget I’m here
To breathe so softly that the air around me remains undisturbed
I became a ghost in my own home long before I learned to detach
The walls are thin enough that voices carry
But thick enough that words get muffled
Just the tone remains
Sharp
Accusatory
Defensive
Pleading
A symphony of dysfunction in four-part disharmony
I press my ear against the cool plaster sometimes
To feel the vibrations
Anger has a particular frequency
It rattles your molars if you press your jaw to the wall just right
A house full of translators for people standing three feet apart
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 11:08 AM UTC
I wish you’d rise above it all
And be the person I thought I saw.
The loving parent I dreamed you’d be,
Cherishing your kids unconditionally.
But once again, I see the truth—
That dream was never meant for you.
You taught us right from wrong, it’s true,
But failed to practice what you knew.
Believing yourself better than the rest,
Yet you’re no top-notch, high-class success.
Not even the middle ground you aspired to be,
But the dollar store version of what a parent shouldn’t be.
Your children are shattered, broken, and torn,
But instead of reflection, you point and scorn.
Blaming others, yet blind to this fact:
Every hand shaped the pain we’ve packed.
One told us love wasn’t ours to claim,
That our worth was tied to our weight and shame.
Another sought love and found none to give,
While one taught us grace in how to live.
The rest hid away, their courage sold,
Leaving us with lessons both cruel and cold.
But you, you’re the real masterstroke—
You taught us to carry everyone’s yoke.
To put ourselves last, to give and give,
Till there’s nothing left in us to live.
Now we’re all broken in different ways—
One’s near the grave, another astray,
And the last just fights to make it through the day.
They cry softly at night, their breath so thin,
You wouldn’t notice—it doesn’t fit in.
All they’ve ever wanted was to make you proud,
To feel seen, even once, above the crowd.
But your plans for them twist and betray,
Stealing their hope and their dreams away.
You rob them of money, of land, of peace,
All for a façade that will never cease.
Chasing a life to save face at work,
Pretending you’re more than a person who shirks.
But the truth is plain for all to see—
You’ve failed them, and you’ve failed me.
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 2:41 AM UTC
Maybe it's time to go,
But I don't know how to leave.
There's always something to say, you never just let me be,
This house raised me with anger but also made me, me.
How can I walk away when it's all I've ever seen?
The children here I protected, the adults I witnessed fall
I can't relive this past anymore, I'm almost 30 after all.
This room holds so many memories, there's secrets in these walls.
How can some place be so comforting, yet keep my life on pause?
There's hatred in the air, masked by family dinners and decor, nothing can be out of place, you may only cry behind closed doors.
To feel sadness is to show weakness, and these people are out for blood, I've learned survival all these years, but sometimes I let the feelings flood.
Use your hands to be helpful, and your mouth only to smile, don't show your cracks, the answers no so don't ask or be prepared to be shunned for awhile.
Nov 28, 2024
Nov 28, 2024 at 11:18 AM UTC
These are confessions I can never send.
Because they blatantly won't understand
and that is something I need to get,
They don't care for me enough to accept the ways they hurt me and say sorry.
They are hypocrites,
Because they want me to stay weary.
They want me to always let go and cry alone.
They don't care if around them I'm woeful.
Mom,
You always said I was in the wrong,
Cleaning and chores were our only "bond"
You never chose me unless you could brag.
Dad,
You broke my heart,
You'd catch me when I'd fall
But never stuck up for me in the end.
Mom chooses to make me a villain,
All I wanted was her acceptance
but she sees me as a sinner who's selfish,
I should put my pain aside and pretend I'm good.
I will be left to wonder forever,
Why my pain doesn't matter
In comparison to my sister,
Why am I less accepted when I'm in pain?
Dad loves me because he sees himself in me.
I look like him, we share a hobby
but growing up I believed that was the only thing he loved about me
Because one moment he'd be there, but would runaway when I needed him most.
Alone, he would listen,
He would say he'd help me
But in front my mom he was different.
Suddenly, what we said in the car was insignificant.
I'm an adult who doesn't know her needs, wants, and likes
Because I spent my life trying to be accepted.
No one taught me how to accept myself,
Or how to know what I need or want.
If someone cared unconditionally,
I clinged to them.
I hoped they'd never leave,
because I never got that from my family.
Now I'm in therapy, crying in every session
That I'm hurt again because of them,
Or hurt by myself because
I don't know who I am.
Mar 6, 2024
Mar 6, 2024 at 7:17 AM UTC
I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.
The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.
I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug
But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you
Now you're gone
Feb 6, 2024
Feb 6, 2024 at 8:38 AM UTC
I'd love to wake up
As a strum in the air
From one lonely girl's song
about how much she cared
She'd appear melancholic
On the side of a road,
Well not exactly the road
She's in a field off on her own
She strums and sings
Letting the wind take away
Every memory and pain
She's experienced throughout
Her days
"I'll run away,
So far you won't see where
My footsteps end- I'll take a train
To the ocean and fly so high"
She makes you feel something inside
You try to meet her in the middle
But didn't realize just how tall the field would be,
so you follow her somber melody
You find the key to her guitar case,
She left it behind, but left no trace
Of which way she went
You still hear her humming
But sit instead and that is why,
She got up and left.
Nov 12, 2023
Nov 12, 2023 at 9:59 PM UTC
telling
Shouting
SCREAMING
my inner dialogue
telling me
just to
shower
Get Up
DO SOMETHING
but i cant
the executive in charge of function said
NO
Mar 10, 2023
Mar 10, 2023 at 12:50 PM UTC
It was a
****** mary morning,
with a Van Gogh sky.
I woke up early, and
found a bar that did the
same.
My kind of place
dark
and empty.
I began ordering ****** marys,
one after another.
At noon I paid
my bill and
caught the bus downtown.
I had to be at the
courthouse at one for a
probation violation hearing.
I met my lawyer in the
hall.
He said,
“What the hell are you doing?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You’re drunk,” he shouted.
“I’m fine,” I said.
I followed him into the
courtroom.
We sat down across the
table from the
prosecutor.
As soon as we sat
down,
he said,
“Come with me.”
I got up and followed
him into the
judges chambers.
He handed me a small
machine with a
tube attached,
and said,
“Blow in this.”
I did.
He said, "This must be your
lucky day.
It’s broken.
Do you want a
week in jail or
a month more
probation?”
I’ll take the longer
probation, I said
I had nothing but
time, and a small
amount of cash.
I walked out of
the court house.
Everything
looked ******
Mar 3, 2023
Mar 3, 2023 at 6:55 AM UTC
I woke up too early.
It was still dark out.
I tried to read some
Hunter S. Thompson, but
it made me thirsty,
not a drop in the
place.
I wish I were in
Puerto Rico.
A few nights ago my
girlfriend and
I got into it.
She bit me and
scratched my face.
We were drunk on
wine from Argentina.
The coffee I’m
drinking doesn’t taste
right.
I wish I were in
Puerto Rico.
In the wee hours of
the morning
I decided
to shave my head.
It took four razors, but
I finally got the
job done.
I looked in the
mirror,
and a stranger peered
back at me;
a head like Gandhi
and a face like Marciano.
I wish I were in
Puerto Rico.
Yesterday
my girlfriend and I went
on a shoplifting spree.
I stole coffee,
a couple of books,
a hat, denture glue, and
a **** ring.
She’s a much better thief than
me.
She took
razors, two tapestries, laundry soap and
trash bags, makeup, shampoo
and coffee that doesn’t taste funny.
As the sun gently
kisses the horizon
and begins to bathe
Iowa City in golden light,
I wish I were in
Puerto Rico.
Tomorrow morning
I have to be in
court.
A month ago I stole
some wine and got caught.
My day of reckoning has
almost arrived.
I should just get a
fine that I will
never pay, but
with these things,
one never knows.
The judge could be
hung over or constipated
or worse yet, he could have
read my poetry.
I really wish I were in
Puerto Rico.
Mar 2, 2023
Mar 2, 2023 at 7:14 AM UTC
She steals candles from
the craft store.
I stole a ceramic
rooster for her and said,
“Here’s your ****
We rock the stores like
they’re our *****
It’s like an itch that
has to be scratched.
We get drunk, and
It’s game on—it’s a high like
******* in public,
like that first
shot when you’re
shaking
and sick.
Someday, it will all
come crashing down,
but until then,
it’s the flash of
lightning and the crown.
Feb 27, 2023
Feb 27, 2023 at 5:06 PM UTC
Be reborn, departed Shakespeare
for now is truly the time to quench
your perpetual attraction to madness.
Threatened by the cruel hounds
of distemper and heated atmospheres,
our broken trusts and unhealthy emotions
set a luxurious bed for extravagant madness.
Be freed from truth, beloved bard
and unbound by complex thought
- relish in weakening America’s
obsessional social dysfunction.
Sep 11, 2021
Sep 11, 2021 at 2:20 PM UTC
You wouldnt like me when I'm drunk
Or perhaps you'd like me too much
Push pins sting
As they slide into my skin
But after long enough
They go numb
Can hardly notice the blood anymore
Second
Third
Fourth skins are shed
Leaving a raw innocence in it's place
Uninhibited by restraints
Such as logic
Or forethought
Blinders on too tight
Choking out anything that would be
Scandalous in daylight
A deafening scream
That's part siren song
Vice grip fingers
Holding on for too long
The Devil's wife has come to dance
Please walk away
Or I promise we'll both hate me sober
Aug 12, 2021
Aug 12, 2021 at 3:27 PM UTC
A small string of memory a connection to the soul still pulls at my heart
With each year that passes it recedes and reclaims space in my mind like the rise and fall of the tide
She left me to drown herself in tragedy and the tears of her childhood looking for more of what broke her
We would've been a beautiful struggle a dysfunction to last a lifetime ironically I write about longing for what broke me.
We are the same
Nov 24, 2020
Nov 24, 2020 at 9:47 AM UTC
I wish I was less selfish
Would that not be great?
To speak kindly to you more a few days a week at least
If I knew the way
I would try
We could have better
This heart yearns for peace
But it is stuck in dysfunction
Nov 17, 2020
Nov 17, 2020 at 8:00 AM UTC
Anger is a scary thing
Imagine being angry for year
Never knowing it was caused
from being insecure.
You were
easily enraged
Your daddy was drunk
Your mommy was late
an unfulfilled childhood
was your adolescence fate
Now that part of you
is still raw
And now you’re angry at us all!
But I still love you!
P.S
I wish I could’ve raised you with mine!
Nov 12, 2020
Nov 12, 2020 at 7:00 AM UTC
It was a fear from long ago.
A corner stone of a foundation, dysfunctional.
How you served me and kept me safe
All those growing years.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your protection.
Today, with heart and mind
United with intent
I rubbed my hands together
Allowing your energy to grow
And grow and grow
Until it circles between my hands
large and full.
Then with the breath in
Holding on to the stillness.
I see the change.
Ask in prayer. Then give the command.
Breathing out and letting you go with gratitude
As I lifted my hands open to the heavens
My fear floated up toward the Light.
Forever shifted. For ever changed. Forever Transformed.
Oct 21, 2020
Oct 21, 2020 at 12:45 PM UTC