#drunkdriving
From the beginning:
It’s a new year and I quit my job
**** it, I’ll never be good at serving
Directionless in 2013
January.
It’s unusually warm.
Your presence in the room is a rock in my shoe
You’re so cool
And I’m a mess.
Remember, you called me Heather in bed?
And I made you go home?
Well.
I forget.
Now we’re crossing the street
For your birthday, it’s your birthday,
Makers Mark, count ‘em, 2 ounces at a time.
Stacked up like unread texts and why don’t you like me’s
I don’t remember
But I’m probably crying
Flash in to outside
God it’s like 60
Deciding to go with you
Asking you to kiss me
(I had a long term boyfriend in my 20s
And his mother would buy me toilet paper for Christmas
The gift of hindsight is kind of like that:
Practical and helpful and a ****** of a gift)
Today is 9 years to the day
My parents know and they’re on their way
The nurse thinks I might be paralyzed
11 broken bones and two black eyes
This is the end of the beginning
Which is the easy part
I’ve never been able to write it all down
Spin it into art
Be warned, I can’t guarantee poetry
From a patched-but-still-leaking heart.
Jan 8, 2022
Jan 8, 2022 at 9:21 AM UTC
Muffled buzzes surrounding your ears
Ringing bells come through your head
you heard the danger
you knew the risk
yet still you went
I watched you walk away
farther and farther
until only the thought was left
The night was ablaze
a fire from within drowning in a burn
it was a night to remember
and a night I can't forget
it's replying in my head
a scratch in a tape
I should of stopped you
I shouldn't of let you go
yet you were gone when mornings wind blew.
Sep 22, 2020
Sep 22, 2020 at 3:10 PM UTC
When she goes out, it's like it's her last night alive.
When he goes out, he clears his mind by taking a midnight drive through the countryside.
After a long night alone in an empty bar, she decided to take a chance and get in her car.
He went out too but didn't make it very far. Only 10 miles.
10 miles from home, 2 lives were lost.
10 miles from home, she didn't think about the cost.
10 miles from home, 2 families will never be the same.
10 miles from home stands a memorial with a picture and their names
Aug 14, 2019
Aug 14, 2019 at 11:30 PM UTC
I had a nightmare last night.
I got into a fight over a bet and...
I stabbed my best friend Ben.
I quickly ran into my car and drove off.
I was driving so fast out of fear,
I hit a pregnant woman crossing the road.
I heard her loud screams but...
I didn't wait.
I only drove faster.
I eventually stopped to catch my breath.
I then picked up a random girl on the road.
I ended up in her place and we made love.
"Ouch" My head hurts so bad,
What a messed up dream.
Thank God am awake.
Wait?!... where is this place?...
Why is there blood on my shirt?!...
**** The random girl from my dream just walked in.
Was my nightmare....
Real?
Did I have too many bottles last night?
Or am I still dreaming?...
Oh God,
Someone, anyone...
Please wake me up.
Feb 3, 2019
Feb 3, 2019 at 8:22 AM UTC
*It burrowed through her heart like a scared mole
sending ripples of pain straight to her soul
disbelief clogged her eyes as she watched discombobulated
by a lot of images strange and very unrelated
the air smelled of rose flower which scent didn't fit the moment
for her skin was weaved in piercing thorns of torment
her mind was a rim spinning contrary to the globe
as a dull alien sensation throbbed beneath her lobe
she could smell blood as vivid as it tested coppery
and her sky blue eyes turned bloodshot and teary
so much for an adventure she thought
she couldn't place her position in her congested mind
yet she had none but little strength much as she fought
she perspired yet it was darker than sunny
as she regretted focussing on the destination ,not the journey
Entering her vintage car was all she could remember
for her brain was roasting worse than a burning ember
it was like going through hell head first
made worse by the itching sub Saharan thirst
she mourned and cursed but after a time passed
she realised her agony was eating her voice
and instead ******** whispers leaving her no choice
but silence for she was suddenly voiceless and dumb
she tried to lift limb after limb but all were numb
she couldn't even blink as much as she couldn't think
serpentine tears crawled out her chilly visage
yet she could hardly scratch
All she saw was a blurry image
like she'd taken too much scotch
Had she? Had she tried to drink away her pain
**** the steering pressed into her chest
squeezing her heart, bruising her breast
the agony,despair and pain was driving her insane
she suddenly remembered every detail as the car heated
she was escaping from reality whence she cheated
Did she really think few bottles of bitter wine
would fix her mistakes,that drunk she'd feel fine?*
Feb 3, 2016
Feb 3, 2016 at 11:44 AM UTC
12:53am
The car clock blinks at me
i feel its judgement through green digit numbers
I cannot remember if it is running fast or a few minutes behind
but I know the bars are starting to close
and apartment lights begin to die off
I accidentally think of you
as I purposely forgot to secure my seat belt
headlights off, i peel out
the cracked screen of the stereo stares
reminding me that I must deal with my screaming thoughts
with no ****** pop songs to hide behind
I still taste it on my lips, a whiskey kiss
but how long has it been since my lips have touched yours?
I calculate the hours
and my speedometer climbs
the line of trees smear into a blur of brown
I drift onto 26 from 45, coast on 322
bear right until i don't know where the **** I'm going
roads like veins winding around to endless possibilities
but this telephone pole look so **** inviting
you were the one who helped me to learn the color of my eyes
but now my bleary blues shift to passenger seat
to see nothing but a pack of 27s
I expect the seat belt alarm to sound
but then I remember that it's not you
i toss the warning label away
how can something be so toxic
when the exterior is wrapped in gold
but i still feel your tarnish in my lungs
I miss the turn to my house
so i decide to drive on
inching closer and closer to you
wherever the hell that is
as my gas supply dwindles
i hope it's coming into my lungs
I pull over and throw up out the drivers side window
the strain of my gut is not enough
to rid you of my system
if only my body recognized you as a toxin a few months sooner
but God knows
no hangover will ever keep me from coming back
Nov 24, 2015
Nov 24, 2015 at 9:41 AM UTC
There will come a day
When all of the colors fade
to grey
When all of the flowers
In the garden start to wilt
When everyday is cloudy.
The headlines hold names
Of kids you grew up playing kickball with
Being killed by people who thought
That one more drink wouldn’t do any harm.
People who thought that a party
Was more important than
Everyone else on the road.
Now,
We have a four year old boy whose mama
Won’t see him graduate preschool
We have an eighteen year old girl whose daddy
Won’t see her graduate high school.
We have teachers
Who don’t know how to educate
To a classroom full of students
Who have so many questions.
But the legal limit isn’t taught in textbooks.
This isn’t whether or not you feel
That the law applies to you.
This is life or death.
This is Russian Roulette with a bottle.
This is driving blindfolded
With the music on too loud.
This is a four year old boy
Who still doesn’t understand
What Heaven is.
This is an eighteen year old girl
Who’s wearing her graduation dress
To her father’s funeral.
The dress that her father helped her pick out.
He said,
“You know, sweetheart, I always loved you in black.”
This is crying for someone
You never met.
This is military homecomings or
Babies smiling for the first time.
Except in reverse.
This is military homecomings in a box.
This is babies crying for a mother
Who cannot comfort them.
This is empty spaces in a poem
Where words should be.
This is “I just saw them yesterday.”
This is “I’m sorry for your loss.”
This is...
not knowing what the right thing to say is.
She still had clothes in the washing machine.
He had a T-Time for next Thursday.
We had a dinner reservation next Friday.
This is knowing that he will never have a birthday again.
This was not something I was expecting
I mean, who would?
Photographs can’t capture a lifetime.
They may be worth a thousand words,
But you my dear are worth so much more.
Nov 19, 2015
Nov 19, 2015 at 9:43 PM UTC
He doesn't know limits.
2 on the wrist and hand on the 3.
The other is out of the window with a firm grasp on the shoulder
slipping.
A hiccup.
slipping as his words have been doing.
slurred don't take caution nicely
it sounded like he said.
A hiccup
he said he wouldn't
he said he's fine
he said he'll be there
he said something
A hiccup
Something red flashes above him
He doesn't know limits
It stops.
All of it.
Not you, however. You can't.
Jan 22, 2015
Jan 22, 2015 at 8:59 PM UTC
Clean it up.
trash, littered
glass glitters
smash delivered
mouths quiver
blood slithers
roads killer
people stiffer
lives teetered
eyes tear
cars peered
windows cleared
bodies feared
clean it up.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 9:54 PM UTC
What made you think that,
Just because you have strong hands,
Which look like they were sculptured by God himself,
You can touch the most sacred parts of my body,
Then leave me,
And leave my skin burning and yearning for more?
What made you think that,
You can look into my eyes,
And shakingly hold my face in your bandaged palms,
And whisper lies to me on your hospital bed,
Telling me that everything will be okay,
That you would fight for me,
Then months later give up?
What made you think that,
I was joking when I said,
I would get married to you,
And have our favorite songs play at our wedding,
Once we get our lives figured out?
What made you think that,
I would ever let you die,
Unacknowledged,
As a victim of drunk driving,
With that murderer still unarrested?
What made you think that,
I will ever be fine,
Seeing everyone else going on with their lives,
Hardly unimpacted,
When my life after you feels like,
A two-dimensional black and white documentary?
What made you think that,
I have celebrated enough birthdays with you?
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 3:04 AM UTC