#drugabuse
You rescued me,
but did you truly?
Thank God, I am free;
I escaped from that tyrant.
But did you really unshackle me?
Summoning me up at 2 a.m.,
drunk and drugged up.
"Please come meet me,
I need you."
I’m in the room,
caged in this home
with you and your friends.
"Just do it,
it’s only one line,
it won’t hurt."
It did sting, though,
didn’t it?
I slipped into the vortex,
no clear route of escape.
This consumed my life,
This branded me.
One line is harmless, though,
right?
Apr 29
Apr 29, 2026 at 4:40 AM UTC
I woke up wired, heart beat fast,
told myself this time’s the last.
Lines on the sink, shame in my head,
texted some lies, stayed in bed.
The crash is gone but not the mess,
some days I still can’t catch my breath.
I stay away from what the old me craves,
and that part is still digging its own grave.
There were nights I almost called it quits —
and if the ceiling of my old apartment was strong enough,
I wouldn’t be writing this.
Jul 10, 2025
Jul 10, 2025 at 5:39 AM UTC
The sounds of whispers
echo endlessly in the
mind of the ******
unintelligible words
commingled with
toxic silence,
the mind
hovering over the void,
suspended by a
single breath held in
nervous anxiety,
awaiting the nudge of
fates hand
-the exhale-
and then,
the slow fall.
Thus is
taken the will from the life;
thus the seedling
tears it's own roots from the
soil - leaving itself to
wilt on the asphalt-
it’s leaves turned down
hiding their faces
from the sun
they once adored;
the sun they now
reject for setting too often.
©Nathan A. Brock
Dec 1, 2024
Dec 1, 2024 at 8:42 PM UTC
I once checked into an old hotel
that’s served guests for many a year.
The white-clad staff will serve you well
and greet you brimming with cheer.
Its handsome brick and stone façade
shines gold in the bright morning sun.
Inside, the red velvet furnishings’ a nod
to the lovers’ tall tales there spun.
The rooms are filled with patchouli scent,
or perhaps with a strong note of musk.
At first you’ll easily make the rent
and stay there from dawn until dusk.
Oh, how well could I in that chamber sleep
on starry fields of Elysium each night,
my baggage packed in cotton I’d keep
to stow it from whatever gave fright.
But the longer this hospitality I had
the more a locked hospital it became;
the doors that’d welcomed this young lad
soon rusted, harder to open again.
I chatted with the friendly concierge
and noticed the crease of his smile
was curled into the quirk of a sneer
while his light humor shifted to bile.
The mattress that once was thick and soft
grew coarse and lumpy with age
while the vistas seen from the gilded loft
were obscured by the bars of a cage.
The red velvet’s colors began to bleed.
All was gilded with the gold of fools.
Once this hotel had for me filled a need —
but it sought to make me its ghoul.
This hostel had to hostile turned,
its host was revealed as a warden.
With time I learned its charms to spurn
and escape to a greener garden.
Even now that hooking hotel calls,
a sultry siren who woefully wails
and summons her guests — or thralls? —
to deep sleep in her heavenly jail.
Nov 15, 2024
Nov 15, 2024 at 4:53 AM UTC
I don’t know why I ever started,
Maybe I was just trying to fill the empty void I felt inside.
Chasing the rush of happiness,
The sheer euphoria I craved.
The bad memories diminishing like a million shooting stars in the night sky,
Every thin white line making me forget the cold, hard truth.
I am an addict,
The person I swore to myself that I would never be.
I don’t know how to stop,
But the saddest part is I don’t want to.
Jan 28, 2022
Jan 28, 2022 at 3:56 PM UTC
She's strict yet kind, caring with a dark side.
She radiates with life, daring souls with their lives.
She's careful yet generous, devoted and ferocious.
Her body is beautiful, perfect and promising.
She dresses in white with green mixes, it's bewitching.
Her makeup is flawless, with soft tones yet ruthless.
Her hair stylishly careless, her gait, like a queen she caresses.
Her laughter is quietly soft, seldom boisterous, it lulls.
Her beauty, a curse, yet a blessing at a cost.
Her eyes glistens and excites,
Like liquid iron on fire.
Her lips blood red, it ignites dark exotic desires.
Her aura menacingly tangible, it feels wickedly gullible.
She wickedly smiles and winks,
You're now swooning, your heart sings.
She's planning your head on crossbows, here you are all butterflies and rainbows.
She reels you in, she knew you're ***** 'coz you're down on one knee.
She knows you're more than ready, your head is bowed and steady.
Her nails are sharp, cuts like Sabre's teeth, like claws and two - edged sword, it sinks.
She turns raising her hands and head, with it, blending blood, sweat and tears.
Her frame an ominous silhouette, is now engraved in your memory to remain.
She knows you'll never go astray, she's made certain in every way.
Her one true secret in this game,
She's ensnared you, she's not ashamed.
She's insanely happy you're now hers, only hers to torment without rest.
May 11, 2020
May 11, 2020 at 9:24 PM UTC
I took a hit to fly away that day
I should of known the high wont last
Because when the crash came
Like a fast train
The dripping rain stopped
The flashing lights drined
And i passed out for 3 whole days
In a puddle of freezing rain
That was my skin
That was my brain
I woke up in a full body shake
Need another hit just to stay awake
To speed me up to keep me sane
Maybe ill at least remember my name
Or maybe this is all a game
And thats a thought
My brain can't shake
My whole life is
An endless earthquake
All my emotions are becoming fake
The high is the only taste i take
Driving me to keep up the pace
I need more to get the same effect
My mind hurts, i need a rest
Gotta stay high to keep at my best
With the crash comes
The crippling distress
Of all my thoughts
Rushing and pressed
Into my consciousness
Im out of breath
Everytime i do this
Im nearing my death
Feb 21, 2020
Feb 21, 2020 at 11:43 AM UTC
A peaceful, calm, and quiet place
A respite from, this crazy haze
Silent whispers - from afar
Shes too drifted to hear them call
Out to her, from reality
Her comatose tranquility
Surrounds her mind,
In foggy clouds
Protects her from her memories
She doesn't need to understand
Nor realize what is happening
As she slowly drifts, off to sleep
Never to come back
To me.
Feb 20, 2020
Feb 20, 2020 at 8:56 PM UTC
the ritual is like a dance foreshadowed by the first rush;
a smooth and soothing building block
characterizing my indulgence.
the room brightens and colorful shafts of light
surround my television in waves of heat.
Dec 18, 2019
Dec 18, 2019 at 2:38 PM UTC
You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)
~ Tears falling, relationship flailing, love failing… ~
You say you need a place to stay
You say you’re asking me to find another way
You say you thought about the debt
You say you’re leaving but it hasn’t happened yet
You say you need a place to stay
~ The time, the hurt, the pain, the drain… ~
You say you overcame the jones
You say you’ve analyzed it to the bare bones
You say you finally found the cure
You say you’re righteous, clean, happy and secure
You say you overcame the jones
~ Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise … ~
You say you love me but you’re not
You say you’re going to fight and give it all you got
You say you find it hard to breathe
You say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
You say you love me but you’re not (in love with me)
~ Tears fall, relationship flails, love fails…
Familiar lies, thin disguise, love’s demise …
This time, this hurt, this pain, this drain…
Time runs out… no more to gain. ~
Oct 26, 2019
Oct 26, 2019 at 9:53 PM UTC
today
I sat very still
the kind where you can almost hear the silence. I could feel my heart alive in my chest. beating.
walk on. walk on. walk on.
it wasn’t easy
I had to crawl to get here.
a lot of time spent tip toeing
through easily depressing situations
I don’t do well with emotional upsets
slit wrists
like please don’t hurt me
palms curled to a fist
but I couldn’t seem to
escape
his body weight
some things you just can’t
undo
unlike a knot tied
and pulled tightly
straight like a line
testing for sobriety
I AM NOT
linear
but you are
just like how you
think the past
shouldn’t
bother
me
and how recovery
should be me
getting over
it all
can you really call
yourself a professional
if you have never
walked the line?
so.
please- try mine.
Jun 4, 2019
Jun 4, 2019 at 7:11 PM UTC
one shot won't
fill it but maybe five or six
one pill won't do it
but maybe eight or nine
one night didn't fix it
but maybe twelve
the space is growing bigger
with each person that leaves
perhaps i'll double the dose
to double my chance
at being w h o l e
again
six shots didn't work
so maybe ten or twelve
nine pills didn't do it
so maybe sixteen or seventeen
twelve nights didn't fix it
so maybe thirty
May 27, 2019
May 27, 2019 at 12:37 PM UTC
This is too much.
Surely, I did something
To deserve things as such.
A lazy, glassy-eyed ****
You haven't kissed me open-mouth
In well over 15 months.
The good guy routine
Well, it isn't a routine...
But I artfully mask my anger with
******* at night
And in the mornings caffeine.
I imagine
That when you look at me
I'm less man than machine.
But knowing me,
I'll continue to flog myself
For these crimes I haven't committed.
And maybe one day the gavel will fall
And I'll finally be ever-acquitted.
May 17, 2019
May 17, 2019 at 10:36 AM UTC
Gravity seems to cease in mid air,
Time began to rewind like the VHS tapes we used to peruse.
Lost to the hopelessness of remembering all that was spoken,
Still trying to grasp what I was destined to lose,
Hungry for that which will fill the emptiness,
Clandestine decisions create all the rules.
A black hole type of control,
I went maniacal and shortly afterward became betrothed; enthroned though alone.
The bigger picture will soon unfold,
That night on the country road,
Driving the whip-it was an evening so cold.
Fairy Tales told in the fool's forest sparked
Demons perverse and sordid.
Fight or flight was being sorted,
The plight was horrid, closely courted,
Shield and sword defended horror.
Pretend to mend the chip on your shoulder,
Put up those walls around your border.
In short, the more you fake your disposition,
The closer your back gets to the corner.
Tire tracks in the grass led to the tree line,
Screams transcended smoke and steel,
Like hot steam rising from a forsaken teapot.
I wish facts weren't so ossified,
Because the force behind discourse and pride
Is hacked, controlled, and lost to time.
But truth remains in purest rhyme.
Mar 31, 2019
Mar 31, 2019 at 2:50 PM UTC
powder in her nose,
drink in hand.
head in a faraway land,
tears in her eyes.
Memories of mumbled goodbyes,
heart beats in and out of sync.
Relapse with the beat,
game with her feet.
wispy black hair and loose limps,
forgetting everything except the feel of her body,
losing control.
how could she fall so surely to her rock bottom,
when she was with him she was higher than a kite.
so why must she say good bye to that high,
Feb 13, 2019
Feb 13, 2019 at 3:50 PM UTC
slowly i learn
to push away the thoughts
of blood and bleeding
or pills and puking
of starving and loose jeans
of tragedies to other people unseen
slowly i tell myself
ill be okay
maybe
slowly maybe
i learn to recover
drinking and drowning
slowly i fall back
maybe i cant
slowly maybe
im stuck after all
slowly i pull myself
back up
i learn to shower
and eat and sleep
and exist again
my body destroyed
more and more each time
slowly maybe
i learn to love scars
and stretch marks
and chub
cheerful faces fall
slowly maybe i fall
back
but
slowly maybe
i learn to survive
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 9:52 AM UTC
I think I'm losing my chill
I'm considering popping these pills
Too many issues to sweep under the rug
I think I might have to do these drugs
I have too many needs
I might just get high on this ****
Look at me, nothing seems to be on point
Yo, I'm just going to smoke a joint
I have got nothing to flaunt
I will stay indoors and smoke this blunt
Too many things my eyes have seen
I need to slow it down with this lean
Or codeine or promethazine
At the end of it all, they don't solve issues
I'm begging you, stop drug abuse!
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018 at 3:40 PM UTC
you are sleeping in a world i can't see:
there are
clouds
holding hands
over my head
and i only ever
dream of you or
nothing
study in a city
smog in my teeth
stale mint air...
...but you're always
in this forest
i keep in my chest -
silence and kissing
there's something
strange and soft
and
missing
dumb hopeful
lonely girl in the mirror
it won't stop
raining
it won't stop
Sep 6, 2017
Sep 6, 2017 at 10:57 AM UTC
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
Follow my lead and glide
Slip in the mud
Racing through your blood
You’re as good as gone
Drifting away with eyes half-shut
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
You’re stepping out of time
It’s a living Hell
Cold sweats, puke, and pain
Your skin goes blue
When you drink the blackened rain
Do you want to dance with me?
It’s easy if you try
Come on and dance with me
As we fall down from the sky
Oh, come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Come on now, dance with me
And I’ll shiver down your spine
The warmth is gone
The rush is fleeting away
You’ve nodded off
For the last time
You’ve come here to dance with me
So give me your best try
You've tread upon my dancing shoes
It’s now your time to die
Come on and dance with me
It’s easy if you try
Now, tell me 'bout your dance with death
Was it worth the high?
Come on and dance with me--
Jan 27, 2017
Jan 27, 2017 at 5:46 PM UTC
Cray-Z...
*You know that you are, ******* crazy?*
*Think up a new grand goal to meet,
then drop the blotter, -to compete.*
*Are you movin' on up?
to the top, to a deluxe compartment in your mi-ind?*
Lenny?
Saul admired David...
"Admired,"
him.
dissolved him in, David.
*You know that you are, ******* crazy?*
*Look at the hands, -they swirl in, ceiling paint...
Thinking like this the world is NO constraint.*
Fuzzy
Futzy
Fickle
Fiber
Pick a pickle Whitley Streiber.
*Gargle,
Gasp, rinse and repeat.*
*Then Devil for the Heaven's seat,
and find a tiny child to eat,
for tasty things water mouth with treat,
nothing stained by water's meet or tendered strangely as complete.*
Crazy...
Carpet fibers tickle my neck.
I am a house.
Household item.
Bleach feels funny on the fingers,
they still won't change color back?
*Think up a new grand goal to meet,
then drop the blotter, -to compete.
Then Devil for the Heaven's seat,
and find a tiny child to eat,
for tasty things water mouth with treat,
nothing stained by water's meet or tendered strangely incomplete.*
Crazy you know that you are...
...is that wall supposed to be flashing?
!!!!GET OFF MY ROCKER!!!!*
Dec 20, 2016
Dec 20, 2016 at 9:25 PM UTC
She sat with smoke in her hand,
holes in her heart,
blood on her wrists,
and pain in her chest.
Noone understood,
noone tried,
noone cared,
atleast that's what she thought.
She had given up on it all,
love,
family,
friends,
life itself.
She was broken and bruised,
simply confused,
lonely she cruised,
day to night, night to day
all by herself.
"What will the future bring",
she thought for herself,
searched for answers she never found,
moved from cigarettes to the needle,
all she needed was one hit, just one hit
maybe everything would go away
It didn't go away...
One hit turned into many hits,
homeless and sick,
cold and hungry,
on the ground,
she was never found,
in time...
The girl who had given up,
soon became a body so cold,
started to rotten,
and now her body reflected how she felt all along,
she was dead, dead to the core.
The girl who had given up,
and everyone gave up on her too.
She simply crossed the border,
the border from life,
and into the grave...
Sep 18, 2016
Sep 18, 2016 at 8:12 AM UTC
my heart felt black and cold
so I took four little green pills to take the edge off my wandering mind
thoughts of wanting to die
but when those weren't enough I let one more dissolve under my tongue
because they say that gets into your bloodstream
they say that's how to really make it work
and suddenly I was floating into a white light
there was nothing around me
not even my thoughts
I guess I understand now why van ghoh ate the yellow paint
I guess I understand why people crash their cars into trees
and wrap them around poles
when your heart feels like it's rotting from the inside you you'll do anything to feel the light
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 1:16 PM UTC
Before fools began to recycle silliness
or love and *** became a commodity to be bought off the shelves of our desires.
Before muscle outranked intelligence
Or the loose were voted people of the year
Before a misguided girlfriend replaced a faithful wife
And hardwork was kicked out of the door by web scamming
Before *********** became only rounds of loveless ***
Common sense lived next to sanity on the street called society.
Because we were too busy watering the gardens of our stupidity
Common sense gradually lost all sense and sensibility
until there was nothing left to compose a corpse.
Very few of us attended the burial
Because almost all of us didn't realize it was gone...
Uncommon sense told you how high crack could get you
common sense agreed you were going to feel fly
But like an airplane, you'd eventually come crashing like a pack of cards.
Uncommon sense got her pregnant out of wedlock
While common sense was still preparing a future under a respectable roof.
The same society which kick against abortion
Serves the pregnant teenager a cold shoulder and self-righteous looks of disdain.
How do you ponder a picture without the painting
Or seperate the sea from the Navy?
Downloading apps to help bridge the gap between stupidy and foolishness
As the brain lies unused like an abandon project.
But like Lagbaja and his mask
The more you look, the less you see
The fool will always go shopping but will never put wisdom in the basket.
Apr 24, 2016
Apr 24, 2016 at 12:47 PM UTC