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#drinkingsong
So you like to drink in the bars, Or swill moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You know you coulda been a dork. A dork's a mammalian who digs in his nose, His *** passes gas as he goes; He has greasy hair and picks at his wart, He plays with his  ***** burbs and snorts. So if you like to spit, pick and hork, You're on your way to be a dork. Or would you rather drink in the bars, And swill moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You know you coulda been a nerd. Nerds are mammalians in Bermuda shorts, Sandals with knee-high socks; He's awkward and clumsy and out of step, If we turn East, the nerd turns West. If you don't want treatment like a **** Then stop acting like a nerd. Or would you rather drink in the bars, Swilling moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You don't wanna be a goof. A goof's a mammalian kiddie diddler, A rat, a punk, a toothless skinner; He's in jail to keep us safe, But in protective custody for his own sake. So if you don't heed the law and you're a **** You'll do well when you're a goof. Some solid guys aren't behind bars, We play ukes, guitars and cards; We're on stools in our local bars, Seeing ourselves as Avatars, While getting pickled in our jars.
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Apr 2, 2018
Apr 2, 2018 at 1:11 PM UTC
francie-lynch
Swilling From a Jar (Sung to "Swinging On a Star")
So you like to drink in the bars, Or swill moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You know you coulda been a dork. A dork's a mammalian who digs in his nose, His *** passes gas as he goes; He has greasy hair and picks at his wart, He plays with his  ***** burbs and snorts. So if you like to spit, pick and hork, You're on your way to be a dork. Or would you rather drink in the bars, And swill moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You know you coulda been a nerd. Nerds are mammalians in Bermuda shorts, Sandals with knee-high socks; He's awkward and clumsy and out of step, If we turn East, the nerd turns West. If you don't want treatment like a **** Then stop acting like a nerd. Or would you rather drink in the bars, Swilling moonshine from old pickle jars; You could be far worse off than you are, You don't wanna be a goof. A goof's a mammalian kiddie diddler, A rat, a punk, a toothless skinner; He's in jail to keep us safe, But in protective custody for his own sake. So if you don't heed the law and you're a **** You'll do well when you're a goof. Some solid guys aren't behind bars, We play ukes, guitars and cards; We're on stools in our local bars, Seeing ourselves as Avatars, While getting pickled in our jars.
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Have another round, boys, The time's on me. Use the good time While you can, boys, In morning you will see. Don't ponder vain dreams lads, They thicken in your blood: *Leave it on the rocks, sir, For there it will inspire, For certain something's sensed.*           Keep me alive           Don't let me die           Tonight.           If I stayed at home           I wouldn't be           Too tight tonight.           Sensing delight in drinks           Tonight's by me. Let your insights falter, Slip another disc. Stay seated where you are boys, Don't bother to resist. Thrill your lungs With tapered incense, The myrrh of barroom bliss.           While rambling through           The ale and lager           We remain serene,           And all too soon           I lie alone           In sober company.
0
Aug 22, 2014
Aug 22, 2014 at 12:26 PM UTC
francie-lynch
Tight Tonight
Have another round, boys, The time's on me. Use the good time While you can, boys, In morning you will see. Don't ponder vain dreams lads, They thicken in your blood: *Leave it on the rocks, sir, For there it will inspire, For certain something's sensed.*           Keep me alive           Don't let me die           Tonight.           If I stayed at home           I wouldn't be           Too tight tonight.           Sensing delight in drinks           Tonight's by me. Let your insights falter, Slip another disc. Stay seated where you are boys, Don't bother to resist. Thrill your lungs With tapered incense, The myrrh of barroom bliss.           While rambling through           The ale and lager           We remain serene,           And all too soon           I lie alone           In sober company.
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