#drank
You were all honeysuckle kisses
That led to bee sting lips
The one last glass of wine
that I knew was a mistake
But I drank you anyway
Jul 26, 2021
Jul 26, 2021 at 3:35 PM UTC
you know i still love you
but i will always hate you too
for so many reasons
leaving me alone at 6 on friday nights till 10am the next day
i never ate enough
you never noticed
i never did my homework and lied saying i did
you hardly checked
i hurt myself
you never noticed
but you're my dad, i can't just only hate you
but i feel the need to
cause the pain you put me in
i will never forget
the phone calls that i have to initiate with a text
i'm sorry i'm a bad child
i'm so sorry i'm ****** up
and i'm sorry you don't know how to parent
i'm sorry i love my mom more than i'll ever love you
but i love you dad
you know i do
you just don't know how much i hate you
thanks for kinda raising me
you yelled
i cried
you drank
i cut
you smoked
i smoked
you slept
i drank
you went out
i stayed up till you got home
i'm sorry but i feel the need to say goodbye
to the father i wished you were
so i fan finally accept the real father you are
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 12:38 PM UTC
Rubayiat Al Thurab (Verses of the Dust) – 40
BismillahIr RahmanIr Raheem
I am willingly the faqeer. (devout wanderer)
Who eagerly drank the Eternal Drink’
Through your noble hand, Oh my beloved!
Nor, there are any shelter, nor there is bond.
In Your Eternal Love, I wander wherever I naturally want,
And gently set my poised head upon the sacred earth,
And at ease myself, under the opened vast sky!
Allah Khair….. Khairul Rabul Alameen Yah Arrahmanur Yah Raheem
Ummah Thurab – Badshah Khan.
©UT-BK 2019
Feb 9, 2019
Feb 9, 2019 at 3:42 AM UTC
little fear
I drank it
I drank it
and did not notice
I did not stumble
did not notice
how is the darkness around
became one and one
little fear
I drank it
I drank it
and everything went well
so unexpectedly
and so quickly I
I'm fast
this pipe was swallowed
03.09.18
Sep 3, 2018
Sep 3, 2018 at 4:29 PM UTC
Though the sentence may end,
the ink carries on.
The cartridge seems vacant of
wanton metaphors.
Exhibiting reflections on soiled paper cups,
wanting to be filled
with drinkable dictations of
what is spelt out in stains.
But I spilt that void long ago,
blemishing my shirt
with what meant to be drank upon.
A decolouration of meaning read differently.
Feb 16, 2018
Feb 16, 2018 at 5:45 PM UTC
you drank it all.
alone.
even though there's nothing left
in the bottle,
it is you that feels empty,
transparent,
frail,
like an eggshell that your mother found
in the chicken that your father killed,
that didn't have the chance of the frying pan at least.
you drank it all.
alone.
no Juliet around,
no Shakespeare
no talent,
no tale.
you drank it all.
alone.
no strippers,
no angels,
no thieves!
you drank it all.
some may call it
messianic delusion syndrome,
but I call it..
cheap Chardonnay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbz9rIxZJBw
May 16, 2017
May 16, 2017 at 5:23 PM UTC
Give me…
Give me…
I need…
I need to get my mind of…
Give me…
Give me…
I need….
Make me feel better.
Help me get rid of my thoughts.
The demons in my head.
My wish to die.
Give me…
Give me…
Drugs.
Give me…
Alcohol.
Give me…
Something to get my mind of…
I need…
…Help.
Help me!
Before I die!
Drown myself in the drank.
**** myself with the drugs.
A fight in vain.
Drugs, drank, *** against the pain.
Give me…
Give me…
Anything to put the demons to silence.
To give my mind some rest.
What can help me?
*** without love.
Drugs slowly killing me.
Cigarettes burning my longs.
Drank wasting my mind.
When none of above works where do I go?
I grave more.
Give me…
Give me…
I need…
More!
I try to feel the emptiness in my heart so hard.
But every time I fail.
Every day again.
So I try everything but nothing works.
The things I try make death only come sooner.
And you know what, I am not even sure I care.
Not anymore.
I’ve been dead on the inside for way too long.
You can’t save me.
So why do I bother to ask for help.
I am already too far gone.
Too lost.
I am already dead.
But why than do I silently cry for help?
Help…
Help!
I want to…
I don’t want to die!
Help me…
I want to…
I don’t want to live!
Just help me!
Or am I already beyond saving?
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 21, 2015 at 5:23 PM UTC
empty bottles,
shattered glass,
blood lying on the floor,
What have we done?
slowely I open my eyes again,
The light is to bright,
What have we done?
I feel so sick.
There is old blood sticking on my bare skin
What have we done?
I can't remember,
My mind doesn't seem to work.
What have we done?
I grave for more,
I want to fill the emptiness in my heart,
Want once again feel your touch.
my mind is corrupted,
My heart is empty,
I tried to fill it with drugs and pain,
What have we done?
The floor need to be cleaned,
I need to get clean,
What have we done?
We were so despaired.
Our hearts were so empty,
What have we done?
we didn't see.
we didn't care.
What have we done?
filling our empty hearts with liquor and xtc,
like that could take away the loneliness,
we had in our broken hearts.
what have we done?
I ask myself as I see the bottles and the blood,
And your slowly cooling body lying next to me,
What have we done?
Jul 17, 2015
Jul 17, 2015 at 9:04 AM UTC
Red – the colors match underneath
the mashing of trashed feet. A bittersweet
scent swishes around our soft palates
until intoxication renders us useless.
The artificial artisan could’ve gone lighter,
but she knew it wouldn’t have been as
beautiful. I gasp and gaze, looking for the
fake signs that she had felt the same.
Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 1:17 AM UTC
The lack there of,
The lack there of,
Was the fact there was,
There was,
No one to hold you,
No one,
When the whiskey,
Didn't **** the demons,
Dec 29, 2014
Dec 29, 2014 at 9:50 PM UTC
I've been so numb,
and nothing ever seems real.
My sister said it's the alcohol,
but I drink to feel.
I've been so numb,
and I'm ******* sick of it.
My sister said it's the drugs,
but I don't want to quit.
Oct 8, 2014
Oct 8, 2014 at 4:09 PM UTC
One, thud!
Goes down smooth
Comforting like seeing an old friend after years apart.
Excited for the adventures to come,
I drum on my chest and YELL,
im ready for the next.
Two, thud!
Rough stuff,
burning like a fuse on a stick of dynamite,
ready to blow at any second, I reckon,
this is a test, like chess, a game of wits.
Turn back now? Never, surrender is no option.
Three, thud!
Invincible, intelligent, strong,
the night is young and so are the women,
generous with my money, yet
not one **** was given.
Four, thud!
Floor? only if you bore, me,
I just want to dance,
liquid courage is all I need,
even if I dont exceed in my mission, at this point,
I wont be ******** about girls dismissing me.
Humorous in a way,
the decisions made to take things to the next level.
Five, thud!
Heavy bass treble, pulsating,
people laughing but I dont care, I cant.
This is the zone,
the night halfway over, yet not a thought of home.
I wander along, stumbling and spilling,
This song in the background speaks the truth.
The club cant handle me right now.
Six, thud!
Pressures proves powerful,
I...puke, phew!
Sev...
Morning sun burns the skin
like water on the wicked witch,
I wake up to nothing but my hand in a trashcan
dead phone, and a voice in my head thinking.
Never again.
Sep 15, 2014
Sep 15, 2014 at 4:27 AM UTC
I heard that alcohol is so good at drowning out sound
That if you hid in the bottom of a bottle
You wouldn't hear a thing.
It sounded peaceful, and I was tired of sound.
So naturally I thought I'd give it a go.
And it worked for a while.
But sound always finds its way in.
Aug 15, 2014
Aug 15, 2014 at 1:33 AM UTC
And so it was his past caught up
a dread for many many years
it was time to face reality
and belay his darkest fears.
A time to face a painful truth
he’d never known this child
he’d left when he was just hours old
and the loss had made him wild.
A soldier he’d been sent abroad
to fight for others’ errors
and in the deepness of his mind
he remembered years of terrors.
They’d captured him and half his men
his captain they had killed
and made the rest including him
dig the grave and get it filled.
When he came home he was a wreck
who drank himself to sleep
and though he had had several jobs
they were impossible to keep.
He later found his faith again
and now he has a certain peace
but the fear of meeting his son at last
was filling him with unease.
He wonders if he’ll understand
and how it will work out
but the boy had come and sought him
now he waited full of doubt……..
©Joe Wilson – His regret 2014
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 8:46 PM UTC
I drank the alcohol, expecting something.
boy was I let down, when I got nothing.
No silly laughter, or grand horror story.
No youtube video, or easy talk for me.
Just a headache or two and a feeling of suffocation.
Just a scolding from people, and a dizzy sensation.
The bottle looked nice, and tv shows made it seem fun,
but after 3 gulps, I just felt like a street ***
So I said goodbye to armpit beer,
and I assure no rose wine here.
*** is for pirates,
much too complicated for me.
I'm done with heartache alcohol,
as you can plainly see.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:41 PM UTC