#downer
I'll be better here sometime right before never,
I swear
Not trying to be clever
I'm being sincere
Just can't assign a specific timeline to recover
I've tried it,
Found it only helped set up the next failure
The one that's already lurking around each and every corner
I stand defiant, against my own self preservation order,
Almost daring it to leap from the darkness a couple corners sooner
I'm not trying to be negative either
Life is an iffy endeavor
But I don't not get it,
I can see it from the view of the average observer
It's gotta look like a recipe for disaster
But it's better than what I see in the mirror
Something I won't need a memory to remember
Branding me with this, scared flesh on each wrist,
A gut wrenching reminder
The kind that can only linger forever
Stalking me from the edge of what I'll be able to remember
But it'll get better...
...they swear
©2024
Mar 31, 2024
Mar 31, 2024 at 8:35 AM UTC
Not only do I look at the cup as half empty
It contains poison
Lost my positive outlook a long time ago
Humor hides my broken feelings
Having breakdown inside though
Full of darkness dampening my mood
No light to cancel it out
On the verge of hyperventilation
Tears fall of sorrow and doubt
I am hollow
Fighting restless itch
Tried pulverizing negativity
No matter which weapons I arm myself with
Is too abundant to expel from my body
My voice quiet and unsure
Words are stronger than stone
I am told I should look on the bright side of things
Stormy weather is all I've ever known
Heard silence when needing comfort
Snowed when I longed for the warmth of the sun
Witnessed those I care about
Walk out door one by one
Wasted hours weeping in vain
Knowing tears would not change the past
I was foolish enough to get my hopes up
Despite the fact good things rarely last
I lost optimism the older I grew
Cannot find silver linings anymore
The partially filled glass knocked off the table
It's completely empty on the floor
Aug 13, 2021
Aug 13, 2021 at 10:22 AM UTC
Serenity is illusive, it keeps me up, at night
nothing concrete, or conclusive
maybe, I'm wrapped too tight
The world and it's populace, I just can't comprehend
a member of the human race
even though, it offends
I'm confused and perplexed, every time I read
stories, books, and texts
of greater human, needs
Upon the day, the moment, that everything depends
what do we say, to past omens
at the apocalyptic, end
Aug 3, 2017
Aug 3, 2017 at 8:19 AM UTC
I’ve never seen God
Only my Father:
**** in his beak,
Stale circus peanuts in
his
heart
Jul 14, 2017
Jul 14, 2017 at 6:25 PM UTC
Write 10 negative things about myself. Here they are:
1. I am fat.
2. I self-harm.
3.Stupid.
4.never learn.
5.everything is always my fault.
6.I am a bad person.
7.I am worthless.
8. I am a *****
9. I'm a *****
10. No one will ever love me.
Jan 31, 2017
Jan 31, 2017 at 9:52 AM UTC
If every word you utter
Comes with a scratch on my skin,
Then I must be skinless by now.
But I'd rather drown in the water
Or hit myself with a tin,
Than to wound myself with your howl.
If the more you raise your tone,
The more I become deaf,
Then please scream your all.
For I'd rather feel alone;
Never to hear myself,
Than to hear your call.
If only there is a way
To stop the way I feel,
I wouldn't be writing this;
Nor would I even say,
And nor would I even feel
That I need to write this.
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 2:24 AM UTC
You've always been so loud.
Yelling, and throwing my insecurities out for all the neighbors to see. Embarrassing me. Your voice is so annoying it's depressing me. With thoughts of my lows and rarely thoughts of my highs.
I've become good at tuning you out. But on lonely days where your words seem so right I can't help but to get drunk off that cup of misery. But I'm tired of hanging with you - you simply make me so blue.
And it's hard to get away from your words, let alone break away from you.
So why don't I try something new. Your bags are packed and the über man's waiting- to take you - somewhere where lonely hearts go to do exactly what it is you like to do.
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC