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#dogbite
Everyone says I’m brave. But all I did was sit still while the world turned to fang. God said, Let there be skin then peeled it back like he wanted to see if I still believed in mercy. Teeth undid what I thought was mine, like I got bored of metaphors and decided to speak in tendon. No poetry. Just flesh. Just cartilage and fear and me holding my nose like a dropped heirloom, still warm. No one tells you how heavy your own skin feels when it’s not holding you together, when you have to carry it like a question you never wanted to answer. Later, in the mirror, I told myself the story with no adjectives. Just nouns. Just blood. Just the new shape of my nose, a crescent of punctures, a crater like an in-ground pool. And now I’m supposed to go back to smiling dimples across rooms, and writing my poems like the rupture was allegory, not aftermath. Like language can cauterize, as if I haven’t already buried a thousand versions of myself in lowercase lines, soft stanzas, and good behavior. The doctor asked, “Was it provoked?” And I didn’t know if he meant the dog or me. Because I have spent my whole life provoking things into loving me just enough to ruin me. I did not scream. I’ve done this before; Not with teeth, but close. No growl. Just gravity. Then pressure where my future had been. Then everything changed shape. Blood—an old language I thought I’d forgotten— spelled its name down my arm. The man at urgent care said, “You’re very calm.” I said thank you. I meant: I know how to bleed quietly. The doctor said, “You’re lucky it didn’t take more.” And I nodded. Like that was comfort. Like that wasn’t a prophecy. My face folded like a map that’s been touched by too many hands, headed toward too many things that never happened. I keep dreaming the dog comes back. But not like revenge. Like confirmation. He finds me again, points to the place that never bruised, and says, Here. This is where it lives now. Then opens his mouth and finishes what he started.
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May 14, 2025
May 14, 2025 at 10:35 PM UTC
Let There Be Skin
Everyone says I’m brave. But all I did was sit still while the world turned to fang. God said, Let there be skin then peeled it back like he wanted to see if I still believed in mercy. Teeth undid what I thought was mine, like I got bored of metaphors and decided to speak in tendon. No poetry. Just flesh. Just cartilage and fear and me holding my nose like a dropped heirloom, still warm. No one tells you how heavy your own skin feels when it’s not holding you together, when you have to carry it like a question you never wanted to answer. Later, in the mirror, I told myself the story with no adjectives. Just nouns. Just blood. Just the new shape of my nose, a crescent of punctures, a crater like an in-ground pool. And now I’m supposed to go back to smiling dimples across rooms, and writing my poems like the rupture was allegory, not aftermath. Like language can cauterize, as if I haven’t already buried a thousand versions of myself in lowercase lines, soft stanzas, and good behavior. The doctor asked, “Was it provoked?” And I didn’t know if he meant the dog or me. Because I have spent my whole life provoking things into loving me just enough to ruin me. I did not scream. I’ve done this before; Not with teeth, but close. No growl. Just gravity. Then pressure where my future had been. Then everything changed shape. Blood—an old language I thought I’d forgotten— spelled its name down my arm. The man at urgent care said, “You’re very calm.” I said thank you. I meant: I know how to bleed quietly. The doctor said, “You’re lucky it didn’t take more.” And I nodded. Like that was comfort. Like that wasn’t a prophecy. My face folded like a map that’s been touched by too many hands, headed toward too many things that never happened. I keep dreaming the dog comes back. But not like revenge. Like confirmation. He finds me again, points to the place that never bruised, and says, Here. This is where it lives now. Then opens his mouth and finishes what he started.
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#14 Dies • copyright EPH 2004 -2014 #14 dies, no screams no cries. Bit 13 times even before I whined. 3 months old, not even my first cold. German Shepherd on my ear before I wiped my own tear. 1/5 of the poem. More upon request.
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Sep 28, 2014
Sep 28, 2014 at 10:44 PM UTC
#14 Dies