#dnr
The small black wristband
Affixed to my wrist.
It used to bother me so
Every time I noticed my forearm.
But not because
I chose this little fate.
But for the reason that all those around
Stare down at it too.
I suppose they find it strange
To chose one such ending.
So much so,
It's become what's defined me.
And I stay somewhat stranded
In my lonely little world
Of impending doom
And misunderstanding.
Lately, however,
I've tried to socialize,
But I'd like to make it clear I said "tried".
I met a boy
But he was different by being the same.
Matching friendship bracelets,
He likes to say.
I guess it means we both die our own way.
To chose is something not many
Concur to.
This boy I quite favor,
And I think he does too.
At times we lay together
In the echo of machines.
He tells me my hair is soft
As he combs through it mindlessly.
I'm sorry I can't return the compliment.
The small black wristbands
Affixed to our wrists.
It used to bother me so
But now I mind less.
Apr 20
Apr 20, 2026 at 10:34 PM UTC
In the moments before death my brain had flooded with DMT
And I could see in my mind’s eye all of the best that had been between us.
From somewhere above my body I silently screamed that the DNR was a mistake
I was comforted then in knowing that you would soon follow me into the dark
-a willing victim of our shared cancer.
I had seen your hospice nurses and heard your death rattles for years.
Even still I longed so much for you to grab the paddles and force me back
but we had agreed not to resuscitate;
so paralyzed I watched my life leave.
It was first with a whimper and then with sobs
that I grasped wildly around the small pitch box
in search of you who had promised to die with me.
I found instead more darkness, the smell of dirt
and that not even the ghost of you had come to lay.
I can sometimes hear you eulogize my goodness from above
when you come to pick the flowers I’m growing with what is left of me.
I won’t reach for you anymore as I did last night.
I will lie very still.
Without a whimper.
Dec 5, 2019
Dec 5, 2019 at 4:35 PM UTC
i breathe in pain
and exhale art
i smoke freedom
to handcuff dark
brush stroke feelings
flit my escape
i shift notion
like fire flies
yellow shades blue
our canvas dies
i am in lieu
do not revive
Aug 10, 2019
Aug 10, 2019 at 11:12 PM UTC
DNR
my glacier blues stared down into the darkest browns.
I said, "I don't want be brought back. Be it a sudden death, stroke, whatever, maybe a heart attack. Let me go if its my time. If its my turn I'll gladly go, hey, even in my prime."
the darker didn't understand, or didn't want know.
I was saying goodbye if it was my time to go....
I am DNR.
Arguing on their point to want to live. They didn't get too far.
They made threats, bickered, but I just smiled and said, "Its ok baby. I'm a sensitive RockStar..."
With a DNR
Aug 29, 2014
Aug 29, 2014 at 2:08 PM UTC
my glacier blues stared down into the darkest browns.
I said, "I don't want be brought back. Be it a sudden death, stroke, whatever, maybe a heart attack. Let me go if its my time. If its my turn I'll gladly go, hey, even in my prime."
the darker didn't understand, or didn't want know.
I was saying goodbye if it was my time to go....
I am DNR.
Arguing on their point to want to live. They didn't get too far.
They made threats, bickered, but I just smiled and said, "Its ok baby. I'm a sensitive RockStar..."
With a DNR
Jul 22, 2014
Jul 22, 2014 at 5:49 PM UTC
Daddy don't leave me
I just got you back
I know you've been in pain for years
but to tell you a secret so have I
I know what DNR is
you have no need to explain
I knew this day was coming
just not this day and age
i'm sorry for your pain
I know you just want out
but daddy please don't leave me yet
I only just got you back
May 26, 2014
May 26, 2014 at 7:31 PM UTC