#divergence
When I first heard of your passing, I felt a tightness in my chest that no words could explain. It was a sort of gnawing feeling that something good has gone. After all, that has always been how I viewed you – a light that shone so brightly, I had no choice but to emulate; a soul filled with much kindness, I was compelled to be and do the same. And in the face of an irrefutable claim to goodness, I have grown, learned, and understood what it meant to be a thoughtful educator, a responsible scientist, and a good human being.
Working alongside you for years, I have seen your relentless pursuit of excellence – concrete and tangible, with clear results. It gave structure to my then abstract leanings to achieving the best – not only for myself, but also for – especially for – those we taught and honed. I regard these moments as the beginnings of my lifelong journey to figuring out what I should strive for with this ever so transient life.
Last we spoke, I was headed for Italy and you were on your way to recovery. I was anticipating the time when we could meet again and exchange stories like we used to. Sadly, we never got the chance. Your death is a great loss – not only for the institution, but for humanity at large. My only respite lies in the belief that you are now someplace where pain and suffering cannot touch you.
Still, I’d like to imagine that if I had one more chance to see you, I’d have shown you all the places in the West where I have roamed, and tell the intricacies of their science. If I had one more chance to speak with you, I’d say that the man I’ve become is, in so many ways, due to you. If I had one more chance to talk with you, I’d tell you that your influence is not lost – it is alive and well in me, and in countless others whose lives you’ve touched.
So while we will dearly miss you, as far as missing goes – you will live on in our hearts and in our lives. I, for one, will make sure of that – you will live on.
Jan 18
Jan 18, 2026 at 5:20 PM UTC
In my language
I am seen
I am known
In my language
I am home
In my tone
And at my pace
I will invite you
Into my space
In my language
In my words
I come alive
When I am heard
In my language
You will learn
The depth of me
And another earth
Jun 23, 2025
Jun 23, 2025 at 2:01 AM UTC
Yesterday
I was to be still
I was to be small, folded
My body needed darkness
And in absence, re-moulded.
Today
I am muscle contractions
I am cleaving ice
Pulsating, whirring machinery
Oil, wax and spice.
Tomorrow
I hope I am opalescent
Wet with new skin
Creative and energised anew
Flowing, flowing within.
Jul 15, 2025
Jul 15, 2025 at 11:46 PM UTC
I keep telling you
Our courses are diverging,
And they are,
By another degree with
Every ****** row,
Every irrational rant,
I'm not sure quite
How many degrees apart
We are now because we
Sometimes correct a bit,
But more than one I think,
It doesnt matter though,
Because with each degree
And 60 miles travelled
I'll be a mile away,
We travelled four years
Thus far and even from a mile away
I won't hear you any more,
That is a mathematical certainty,
But your hand is on the wheel,
Of your ship
And so is mine on mine,
And soon it'll be time to tack.
Aug 21, 2024
Aug 21, 2024 at 4:58 PM UTC
The darkness of the road
That you left unexplored
The you that never lived
And all their smothered words
You left yourself for dead
Went on your merry way
Let shadow claim what might
Have been a better day
You murderer, you coward
Indulgent homicide
You **** so many worlds
With every careless stride
Feb 2, 2021
Feb 2, 2021 at 11:45 AM UTC
Since when did we
carve coffins
(with a coldness we can hibernate in)
out of each other’s cruelty?
Had i known gods perish
by their believers’ hand,
i would’ve stopped you from swearing
— on our mutual martyrdom —
“*Cross my heart and
Hope to die.*”
Apr 14, 2018
Apr 14, 2018 at 1:31 AM UTC
I picture us falling down a bottomless pit
And we're nearing a section with a divergence in it
We can hold each other as close as we want in the minutes we have left
But that does not change the reality that the divider will show up
And split us in two
Let us imitate intimacy
While we're still in each other's vicinity
And though I've inconsistently felt your proximity,
I know that, for now, you're here with me
A day before she goes, it feels like it could snow
It's so cold out
A day before she goes, I find myself below
Just crying out
Our hearts, heavy, worn, ignorant of what to do
They cling to each other and wish that the two
Could once again become one
And that this all would be done
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 11:27 AM UTC
This is
a cattle nation,
an endless sea of
black and white
floating perpetually towards
a smudged horizon,
grey and faded and
seemingly farther away with
each step.
I feel confined in this world of
flat-irons and resumes
and the words
and the people who say the words
but really mean something else,
expecting me to speak in the same
cookie-cutter sentences and
plan out a logical progression of mundanity
to cloak myself behind,
placing my footsteps carefully
in the molding
that was set by the infinite
faceless people that trudged on
before me.
There is no fork in this path,
no place where it splits into
two strips of gravel,
but there is grass on either side,
waist-high and swaying rhythmically
in the breeze;
I step out of my molding,
out of my cloak
and there is mud soaking my feet,
grass grazing my bare knees
and I can see music
and hear color.
I look at the black and white creatures
who can see only shapes and shades
and their grey destination
and I turn around.
I feel free in this world of
choices and serenity,
allowing my feet to lead me
to where the tall grass
meets a pond;
my body caked in dirt,
my hair loose and curly,
my lungs full of air.
The wind whispers fervently,
words unlike
anything I have ever heard
telling me of that feeling
between hiccup-sobs
and moving on,
between being tied down
and pulling away,
reminding me of the
moments of calm and
moments of chaos that
eventually led me
Here.
Staring into the reflection in the pond,
where the transparency meets
the slow ripples,
and I see
Me.
Alone,
leading the way
to my new destination.
Jan 7, 2017
Jan 7, 2017 at 12:48 PM UTC
***Millions of masks on this earth,
Each so vivid and so beautiful.
Behind each resides a silent soul
With the deepest stories untold.
The masks get carried away with time,
But the souls remain,
forever the same.
They search for other masks and with it other stories.
And the stories get buried forever,
Leaving behind the greatest of its glories.***
Aug 5, 2014
Aug 5, 2014 at 11:46 AM UTC
The clouds above us weep
at the sight of your departing footprints,
but don't fear, love, for
from these relentless tears,
beautiful flowers shall sprout
and the heavy goodbyes
that engraved your lonely footprints
will be replaced with
welcoming embraces
and the light laughter
of a new beginning.
Mar 30, 2014
Mar 30, 2014 at 11:19 PM UTC