#disjointed
before things get rash,
we should run.
but one of us is dead,
and one of us has no legs.
so,
maybe i went overboard.
maybe i already got rash.
maybe i messed it all up,
but we can still fix this.
i wait for you to chide me like you always do,
but all you do is bleed out.
i wait for you to get back up like you always do,
but all you do is lie there.
i wait for you to fix everything like you always do,
but you’re not chiding me,
and you’re not getting up,
and you’re not fixing
everything.
you can’t really expect to get out of this just like that, can you?
you can’t get away,
i’ve made certain of that.
i made sure you would stay here right next to me,
just like always, but baby,
it doesn’t feel like always.
before the sirens of an ambulance come cat-calling your body,
before they steal you from me, promise:
“to love and to cherish, until parted
by death.”
i can’t hear you, dear, that thief’s sonorous chorus resounds;
you’ll have to speak up.
because we can still run, we can still get away from this town,
we can still steal your father’s beat-up pick-up truck and run away,
just like the songs.
honey, don’t you get it?
we’ll always be together,
“‘til death do us part,”
you swore it yourself.
well, i’m not dead yet,
but the paramedics lift you into the back of that **** ambulance,
while i’m loaded into the back of a cop car.
we are still bound by our vows.
Aug 29, 2024
Aug 29, 2024 at 4:29 PM UTC
I can't get enough of the thrill
The choke and the tears after
The miles and miles I run in my mind
How the stars look at night
They follow me and I need the release
I need the touch and go in my head
Cat and mouse I play with my sanity and will to live
One more thrill ride so I can crash
Give it until I ask no more
Let me feel the burn as it chases me
Feverous sickness in my mind
I love the thrill....the choke
The taste of the dead left in my mouth
Let go and you can see the past in the smoke
I see with more clarity then I wish I did
Higher than I ever was and I wish it would end me
So I love the choke and the thrill...maybe one day you will understand
Apr 15, 2019
Apr 15, 2019 at 3:55 PM UTC
Come to me
Let the sunset warm your face
And point out to me the wonder of the forest
Show me the secret of the woods
Tell me of your love and your pain
What makes such a heart bleed the way yours does?
I want to see you smile as you tilt your face to the sky
And when the light dies down I want to lay back on the ground and point out the stars and their wonders
Because you deserve to be given a place to escape
For the world is one place you seem to never touch and I wish you could take me with you
So come to me and let me show you the wonder of the world right in front of you
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 12:00 PM UTC
She sends me pictures of the sky admiring the prettiness of it but the only thing I see is her and how her face lights up when she talks about it
We share music throughout the day back and forth we play with messages like how elementary crushes passed notes to each other
She loves her animals and she always tells me to give plenty of love to them since they deserve it
So does she...
So I wait and hopelessly fall in love with her little by little because she is the skylight
The thing that brightens my mornings and makes me glow
Apr 3, 2019
Apr 3, 2019 at 11:44 AM UTC
Time to say goodbye to my summer romance
Like the light that dies for the winter snow
You filled my summer nights
And my head with such love you would have thought me dead before
Before I ever looked into such gorgeously intense hazel eyes
Brown for her pure love and green for her playful nature
Staying up late at night waiting for your text
Spending camp learning of each other in tender moments
Laughing never seemed so easy
It's so hard to laugh without the gut-wrenching memory of how you looked when you smiled and laughed with me
But I am content now
Content to see her beautiful face smile without me
Content to live without my first love
And I love her even more
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
Puff, puff, puff
Watching my death blow from my mouth
I feel it settling in
Making me feel like the world is in hyperfocus
Details find their way to the surface
I stare at the ceiling as it feels like the world is swaying
I wish I was staying
Falling and I can't find my grace
I let my fingers fumble with the next mistake
Each puff and I feel dead
To each their own aphrodisiac
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 12:40 PM UTC
Words aren't needed when I see her face
It escapes from my throat
The words I wish I can express before we parted ways
A love so strong it hurts making you forget that the world is still moving when in her presence
It makes the phrase "if you love them let them go" seem like a harsh reality
I loved her so much it made me toxic
So few to admit the truth
That love need not be the whole story to your person
Mar 14, 2019
Mar 14, 2019 at 12:29 PM UTC
Goodbye, this time it is for good
Was loving you that hard?
I never meant to hurt you this way
The pieces of my heart are crunched into dust
I feel empty and lost
You say you are the problem
When you never were a problem
You are wonderful and sweet
The light in your eyes give me clarity
Making sure to ask about your day
Or saying goodnight and sweet dreams
Keeps me from falling into nothing
Trying hard not to cry
I gave you my all and would do so over and over a thousand times
You asked me why I loved you at all and the words stuck in my throat
How could you ask that?
I have told you a million times why I do, I love you for the way you laugh
And I love you because your hugs keep me warm
I love you for your strong determination to keep on going
Most of all
I love you for loving me
I never felt a love like yours
Through all the tears and yelling and silence
You loved me like no other
You gave me a future so bright that I had no choice but to believe
In your dark hours after this, you might feel weak
But you are not even close to being weak
You stand tall and strong among your many battles
And stable?
You never had to be that way
I think you are amazing the way you are
…..Faults and all
Letting you go makes me bleed
Everything will be so cold like it was before
My heart will ache for so long I don't feel any more
Some will say “Why?”
And I will simply tell them it was because she loved me back
For that was all I asked for
Nothing was ever your fault I promise
Give yourself time to heal
If what it takes is letting you go
Then I will let go, but not without crying
Or without making sure you know I love you still
I hate being alone
But knowing you and getting to love for real
I would suffer years alone
And maybe I will see you again
For that's all I can wish for…..
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:21 PM UTC
You say you will fight for us
Dreams of a future is what we make
You say you will fight if it is the last thing you do
Can that be all you leave me with?
I will still fight
I am losing faith minute by minute
It cannot be true
Can you leave me after all we shared?
Please don't leave me is all I ask
Do you think of me?
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:19 PM UTC
Tell me wrong that the air you breath is better without me
Tell me wrong that you still don't love me
Is it wrong to let you go
Sometimes I think this is so
When I am talking to you I see more than another would
Perhaps you didn't know that I knew you absolutely love candy
Or that you love to snuggle up and stay inside all day
Perhaps you don't understand why I love you so much
And this is to be true
But I love you so much because you love me too
So tell me our future is doomed and be sure I will fight it
I am sure to swear we are made to love each others faults
Please tell me you thought this through
For if you didnt I don't want to hurt you
Promise me you'll fight this time
And maybe if you wait long enough you will see our love shine
Just tell me the truth
Don't ever be ashamed
Just tell me the truth and I will surely listen
You never need be scared and never need be in pain
For if this love's too much
You won't ever see me again
So tell me one last time….will our love float….or will it be lost
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:19 PM UTC
I found my way
Right into your arms
Safe and sound
Away from harm
Glazed eyes and heavy burdens
I lay myself down at your feet
You pick me up and dust me off
Whispering promises of certain future
Your eyes glitter reflecting each promise
I am lost in your eyes
Can it be?
A haven away from reality
Our space seems to bend time
Keep me safe my love
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:16 PM UTC
I miss your good morning hugs
I miss those good morning kisses
I also miss that little pout you do when you don't get your way
Can it be possible to miss something as much as I do you?
Do you miss me too?
I miss giving you nose kisses
I also miss that adorable blush you do
I kinda also miss the stupidly cute way you would talk cute
I miss it when you whisper to me
It makes you sound so serious
And that makes my heart skip a beat
I could spend all day sleeping in your arms
I miss that feeling of safety in your arms
I miss losing myself in those amazing brown eyes
I miss you so much
Could I love anyone more the I do you?
I think not…
I simply miss you
I hope I see you soon
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:15 PM UTC
I am tired
It's a deep feeling in my bones
It drains my smile
It limits my laughter
Can I be anymore tired
Eyelids droop but sleep eludes my grasp
When I wake my body aches
No stretch can relieve my ache
Music echoes in my lone time
Why can't I feel full inside?
I read of stories
Riding with warriors
Flying on airships in faraway galaxies
Walking in dark forests lit with the light of fairy fables
Cannot I not find my fill?
Why am I so empty…
Pick me up and give me vise
Is this a punishment?
Can I find reprise....
Fill me with emotion ..
I want to fly again my little muse
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:14 PM UTC
Laughter , I could hear it through the phone and could listen for hours
A smiling face , one that would make me smile whenever I would see it
Such a way with words, just a whisper of a command and I would surely fall to her feet
An old soul in your eyes, and you would see the world in ways that amaze me
Flirty and bright, you left me in the dust with jokes and witty retort
Intriguing and shy, but never afraid to carve your own path with your personal style
So many things and so many different types of beauty and grace
But how to describe me?
For a writer possesses it muses guise and is never the same twice
Am I witty and comfortable
I suppose I could say I am observant and a ear to listen to the woes
Or am I closer to laidback and rude enough to make a grandma blush?
But tis no fret
I see beauty in all
To walk in another's shoes is a breath of life in the line of imagination
One day I can be the warrior willing to sacrifice all
The next I can be sinner punishing thyself more then any could do to him
Or a parent watching their child grow older learning more about yourself in your little one
Writing is my soul … no need to be good at it
No need to be the best among my many faces
I am a blank page , so write as you will my story
But in my hand and head I see beauty, hate , and much more
Although it might drive me crazy , I love it to the very fault
For she is humorous with eyes as deep as lakes and speaks with words that make me weep with sorrow or die over again with joy
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:08 PM UTC
The streets roam on for miles
Its pitch black leaving only the flickering street lights to pave the way
I am running so fast my breath filling the silence with awful ragged gasps
What is behind me?
Faster and faster I run the stars twinkling above my head
It is so hard to move as the roads and buildings pass in vocational silence
I hear a voice so familiar I cease my run and stand lonely on my crossroad
It's so familiar to my ears
Soon a figure is standing in front of me but her face is cloudy
I reach out to touch but she is ghostly cold yet warms me in awful ways
She is crying out and I still can't understand her far away voice
The woman is gone and I am left running again
Running into a light so bright I wake up
Rolling over I see the face of my beloved
She is smiling as I am gasping for air to fill the hole
Soon I whisper softly
“So close yet so far away...Why do I run from my soulmate?..”
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:06 PM UTC
It wraps me up in its comforting arms
The ache inside is just as fresh as it always was
Leaving me in constant wonder and hurt as I flounder in emptiness
Please don't leave me this way I beg of you
Can it be anymore careless with another
My lines are faltering and I can't seem to bring them back as I always had
Those arms break my fall each time and I can't seem to escape it
Thinking to myself
Asking why you left me so suddenly leaves me in tears
You were my future so bright I seem to have lost my grasp
Grasp on love and reality that I so wanted to escape
I beg of you dont let those arms find me no more
Loneliness is something that might as well **** me
I cant handle the deafening loss of my alone time
Your kiss leave scars that might as well never heal
For each ache and pain reminds me that I am so alive
But so empty inside that it is not fair
I miss those moments of light and laughter
I and as I whisper I love you
I'll tell of how bright those eyes are
How easily I fell for them
And of how little you say and how much that little meant to me
Or when you would laugh and oh how that laugh made me smile
That would me my story to all
But behind those words I will wish I never met you
This heartbreak is something I dont need
I just wish you would finish that game you play
I give up my part
In hopes that it will ease the hurt you seem to inflict
So let those bright eyes fade away
And let me return to my wholesome
Will I ever be as I was
Not after giving up my other half and you spinning it away on that game you play
So leave me be my love
And maybe someday I will be whole again
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:06 PM UTC
Here she is
Back again with that haunting smile and those lovely lips
I am yet again under that spell like no other
Play with my heart like it is nothing in your eyes
Keep up that pretty facade and I will no longer mean anything to you
Can I ever tell you how you treat me like I am but a plaything
And yet my love for you is unhindered in its haste
Please don't leave me again
For I don't think I will ever survive it
And even if you were mine
I forever chase something that will never be mine
Not even those pretty words of yours will sway me
A nomad heart and a emotionless smile
I run forever to nothing and it keeps me aloof from the pain
You can use me to your heart's content but in the end
I will never fully be yours to play with
Love will forever elude me and I constantly crave for it
You can't be mine as I will never fully be true to you
So here she is
Back again and asking the same as she always had
Will I give her what I always had?
How does one so easily give what they don't have?
My love for her crushes me
And yet again she ignores what she has done and said
So again I am on my knees begging for the end to just beat down
I welcome more the pain more than I do her blatant disregard
Back again she asks the same thing
Yet I complain as such I do everytime
I give her all for I have nothing left to refuse or lose
As she is back again
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:04 PM UTC
Meet me in your dreams of love and passion
Meet me behind my facade and find a world of love
Find me with those eyes I have longingly searched for
Reach for me with those tender hands and soothe my pain
Tell me of your love and I will never abandon you
Fight with me and I will raise you higher
So meet me with love and I will return my dear
Meet me with words of hope so I never falter
I am tired my love and giving up is the notion I fancy
Can you lift me up to see the hope?
Meet me with gentle memories of such a lovely past
Wipe my tears away with a future in mind
So meet me my love and see my real self undress
Mar 13, 2019
Mar 13, 2019 at 1:03 PM UTC
A disjointed mind can write
Disjointed poems at best.
I now write again because
Because finally my feelings
Are at unrest
I'm back once again
To being lured
Being lured to linger
Linger upon failed affection
What wrong had occured
A foolish habit
Since my spark of the first
A nuance in motion
Motion unconscious
Knee-jerk reaction of the worst
If it weren't for that
Both feelings hurt quite badly
Quickly it will mend
Mend that it won't spiral
Into subtle agony. But sadly
Not.
Feb 16, 2019
Feb 16, 2019 at 11:26 PM UTC
Disjointed reflections of vertebrae
that were fluid in the synapsis of
my subconsciousness.
they were inadvertently disjointed
from my walking thought.
Then I fell beneath the tower that
I had build within,
collateral damage of life.
Broken windows of reflection that
I tried to close, but lacerated my
cognitive actualization of self.
That which severed my validity of self
was pendulous, but with a
string we can weave something new.
Not as it was before, more worn and not
so luminous, but what was lost is gained
for that voice a lingering a shadow of before.
Jun 13, 2018
Jun 13, 2018 at 9:55 AM UTC
I'm on a late night poetry rant
standing here on my grave
everything done, everything said
a sad attempt, being brave
Pounding the lines
straining the prose
fighting for every last word
Thrashing the weeds
corn too the crib
productive and yet, still deferred
It never seems to bear fruit
no matter how hard that I try
beating my temples and brain
feeding my fears
getting by
May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 10:11 PM UTC
twirling, roses falling around me
jumping, feelings that explode
Fireworks in my hands
Jazz in my toes
Dance
Smile to shine
Eyes wide to see
Butterflies
Oh, romance
beautiful ******* leave me
and nihilism alone.
Keeping to myself and I.
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 7:49 PM UTC
I used to sit outside,
to get my head on right.
And now I think I might,
Just prefer to stay inside.
The winter makes my bones ache
and I feel alone
Most of the time now, most of the time now
Most of the time.
And is this wrong?
Have I been thinking for too long?
All I know is that I don't want to be forgotten
When I'm gone.
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 5:21 PM UTC
May we dance in the firelight
And sway in the breeze
Set aglow with you
Amongst the midsummer trees
May these flights of fancy
Become long voyages borne
On the wings of dark angels
Blowing on gilded horn
And when the winter breeze
Creaks open our doors
May the grinning hearth
Warm our hearts to their cores
Watch them all; so merry, so bright
So filled with such wonderful light
Envious of those who carry their souls
In gilded mesh cages of lanterns aflight
Listen as the telltale ravings
Of men and women alike
Take flight and flare like midsummer suns
Amongst the chirps of a hunting shrike
And while the swirling storms batter our doors
Tear apart these terrible floors
So when the daily visitors arrive
It will be through pain that they shall thrive
Nov 15, 2016
Nov 15, 2016 at 11:20 PM UTC